Related to this thread:

crazy-about-a-girl-that-has-a-boyfriend-vt186600.html

Cliffs:

-studying in UK since october, came from my home country
-met girl that studies in my program that also came from her country to study here and that lives with her boyfriend that also came to study here, but in another uni.
-I spent a hell of a lot of time with her during last term
-we're very close, spent most of the Christmas break snapchatting, texting, etc...
-now we're back in UK and things are going great

Now update, we've been back in UK for 4 weeks:

-Like I did last term, she managed a few weeks ago to find a job in London for this summer and probably for the foreseeable future.
-Because of this she's much more relaxed and less stressed about life/courses in general.
-Our "relationship" is still going well, we're very close and keep seeing each other a lot.

-There has been ONE BIG CHANGE: she is being extremely TOUCHY and PHYSICAL, and I mean VERY TOUCHY. She very often grabs/touches my arm and hand now, wraps her arm around my shoulders, around my neck, runs her hand through my hair, pinches my abs, etc... This almost never happened last term.

-The other day, while I was sitting at the university library she came up from behind out of nowhere, and gave me the most amazing shoulder/neck/back/arm massage ever (for like 10 minutes), I didn't even ask for it, she just did it, in front of everyone. It was heaven. Some classmates joined us while she was doing this and they were all pretty much thinking "this girl has a boyfriend ?!".

-Every time we are close up she becomes very flirty: she touches my abs, pokes me, puts her hand on my lower back, cannot stay still for more than 5 seconds, etc... A few days ago, a classmate, her and me were talking and she was touching me like crazy, very playfully and the classmate said "ok, I'm gonna let you two flirt alone, I'm getting out of here". I, of course, playfully touch her back when she does this.

-Also, recently, on most nights, she snapchats me photos of herself or of other stuff late at night and I get this general impression that she's really bored at home with her bf, that not much is going on and that she wants to do other, more exciting stuff but can't.

This is new. We were always very close (talked a lot, text,...) but this is a new level.

Here's the thing: I mean it's pretty freakin obvious she's interested in me. BUT, she has a boyfriend. What the fukk am I supposed to do? I don't want to end up having to pay rent or some shyt like that until summer when her lease ends.

So, is she giving me a signal to do something here or what? I'm being flirty/touchy as well when she does it but the whole "boyfriend issue" is keeping me from taking things further.

I think there were some good contributions in the other thread you could re-evaluate.

I also think you need to escalate and see where this goes... That's the only way you're gonna find out.

Can you get her back to your place? If so, liquor is your friend.

I've found most girls are one of four types. Vodka, Rum(Coconut is my favorite), Jaeger(mix with Red Bull), Patron(or any higher end Tequila). I always keep all four.

Watch a movie and play a drinking game during it.

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RSDTyler

1. Whoa, just because this girl is flirting with you and obviously wants the D, that has nothing to do with paying her rent FFS. Get that shit out of your mind. She's a big girl and makes her own decisions. Don't move her into your place, don't move in to her place.

2. Be her discrete friend that she calls up for dick. Plain and simple. Keep it discrete, don't hit her phone up randomly, let her contact you when the BF ain't around. If you randomly text her for booty, her bf is eventually gonna look at her phone. So let her contact you unless you know it's safe. Or hit her up with a class question and when he responds, tell her to come over and get in your bed.

3. It's just her college bf, they ain't married, and they are obviously not going to stay together. Have fun with it and be careful. Be painfully obvious to the girl that you are looking for a good time.

You can do this other ways, but it will require alot more drama and alot more effort, which I'm not into.

She's begging for it dude, just get her alone and escalate

gaming a girl with a bf = EXTREMELY douchey

Yes, make sure she bangs other guys, and not you.

Some people may judge you for it! And if you care that they're upset and think it's their business that you're having sex with her, instead of other guys, it may make you feel bad.

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RSDTyler

Same mentality as "someone's going to steal that shirt eventually, so it might as well be me".

I've been that guy. She can make her own decisions as an adult. Like other posters have said, if it's not you, it'll be someone else. Just understand one of three things WILL happen. One of which you can control

1) She will leave him if she feels like you're better over time. DO NOT wife this girl up if that happens. She could be having Grass is always greener syndrome (GIAGS). If you're someone with slightly lower self esteem you'll feel amazing but after awhile she'll run back to her old man and you'll be in the dumps. Besides, why would you want someone who can so easily be swayed when satisfied?

2) You'll fall for her and she won't leave her man. She'll feel comfortable and safe with her old man and you'll be her toy. You'll try to be more of the boyfriend for support and comfort and after awhile she'll lose interest in you because you're no longer dangerous and fun.

3) He WILL find out. It could be after one time, 100 times, after they've broken up, or while they're together. It could be from her feeling guilty and spilling the beans, him finding her texts or him running into you two, but he WILL find out and both you and her will be in hot water. I'm not saying prepare for violence, but definitely prepare for drama beyond belief.

If you think you can handle all that, game on. If not, get out now before you catch oneitis.

Good stuff thanks

A few more signs that she might be interested:

-we went through the whole job hunting process together, we first met at the career fair a few months ago and from there it just took off, and during the whole recruiting process, we helped each other out, provided support, advice, etc... would meet up after each interview to discuss how it went etc. and in the end, we both got amazing positions, which is quite unique within our program. Because of this whole process we've been through together, I think we're very very close, and we'll always have this emotional link, aka having moved to a new city together, having searched for our first job in the UK together, having gone through the whole process together,...

-A weird thing about her is that she never ever shows her boyfriend, she occasionally mentions him but I've never seen him and she's always quite discreet about the whole thing. Whereas other people invite their boyfriend/girlfriend to parties, she never does, almost seems like she's hiding him.

-When we haven't seen each other for a few days and we have a class in common, I sometimes ignore her for a while, just to see if she reacts but also because I'm talking to other people, and she will always, and I mean ALWAYS, come to see me after a while to ask how I'm doing/what I've been doing that day/plans for the weekend/etc.. Again, I do this as a "game" and it seems to work, but also because I talk to other people and don't necessarily have the time to speak to her right away. But she always comes up to me in a really "little girl" way, she moves a lot, can't stand still, starts touching my abdomen/abs, etc...


I'm still a bit puzzled. What should be MY first move? Should I start getting really TOUCHY/PHYSICAL? even more so than her? Or should I imply something about her and me? or what?

Only if you view this woman as being owned by her BF, the way a shirt is owned by a store.

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RSDTyler

Dude....stop looking for "signs" we'really telling you she is clearly in to it. So take action.

Fuck that. If my gf goes and starts flirting hardcore with another guy and starts rubbing up on him and he fucks her, that's her fault. I can't blame the dude.

Our relationship isn't that guys problem, and if his gf wants my dick, their relationship isn't my problem. That's between them.

The only time I have a moral dilemma is if they are married and even then there are situations where I don't feel guilty for giving his wife what he isn't giving her.

Agreed. The only slightly douchey move is hardcover gaming a chick with a boyfriend trying to get her interested in you. From the sound of it this chick is after OP like stripper with bills due, game on bro

True true, but a few things happened yesterday which really made me think:

-I had class with her and we hadn't seen each other for 2 days. The class is about 100 people so it's not like it's obvious where she's sitting when I enter the classroom. I got to the classroom, didn't really speak to her before the class started, didn't speak to her during the 15 min break (had other people to see) and at the end of the two hour lecture, her and another girl were waiting for me and I still had someone to see before I could speak to her so I kinda went by the two girls without saying anything, and she said "so you're not gonna say hello to me today?? (in a nice way)." Seems like she's responding more when I ignore her a bit, should I continue this?

-we were walking to the cafeteria yesterday and she gave me a book with chinese girls and their CV's (chinese student society at my uni does this, it's to help chinese uni girls to find a husband, don't ask me...) and she said "so I'm disappointed, I was trying to find you a girlfriend from my "home country" but I see that you're not interested anymore"... (because I was looking at this booklet with the chinese girls). I went on to say "oh no, this book is just for shits and giggles, you still have a shot with me". She then said something like "oh no I'm not talking about me.. "

I mean, if she's interested in me, would she really have given this last response?