So there’s this girl that’s shown a lot of interest in me the past few months, so about 5 weeks ago we starting hanging out alone on the weekends (we’re both seniors in high school). First three weeks were just standard dates, all ending in a lot of making out. On the fourth date, she brought up the “what is this/what are we” questions and we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. This time, we went a little bit farther, and she gave me a hand job. I was rubbing her pussy from outside her pants, but when I tried to go inside her pants, she gave me a “Nuh-uh,” and moved my hand away. It wasn’t in a bitchy tone, more of a lighthearted, laughing, smiling type of thing. I tried a couple more times, but she stopped me each time. At one point I said “It’s for you,” to which she responded “I know.” I asked “what’s the problem then?”, and she didn’t have an answer, she just kind of shrugged her shoulders. Again, all of this was with a nice tone while she was smiling. Later that night when we were saying goodbye, she asked if I was being “sincere” when I agreed to be bf/gf or if it was just for sex. I do like being with her a lot, so I told her it was sincere, which was the truth. This weekend, she came over to my house and we watched a movie in my basement. We cuddled while watching the movie, and starting making after it. Got the same thing when I tried to put my hand in her pants, and I didn’t get a hand job this time. She said that she had dance practice early in the morning, and that she told her dad she would be home by 11 (it was already 10:50), so she had to leave.

She’s a “good” girl so to speak, I don’t she’s kissed more than 2 guys (including me), and I’m definitely the first guy that she’s gone past kissing with. On the other hand, I haven’t had sex yet, but I have hooked up with a few girls and gotten a blowjob in the past. I think she may be worried that I just want her for sex (not true) or doesn’t want to come across as too easy. I’m relatively new to this type of stuff, so I don’t know what to do. From what I understand, girls like sex just as much as guys, and I already committed to being in a relationship with her, so what could be holding her back? I understand that we’re not going to have sex right away and that we’re going to have to work our way up over the next month or two, but it seems like stimulating her with my hand/fingers seems like the next step. She’s only my second girlfriend, so I’m not sure how this goes. Should I talk to her about it next time?

Totally remember being in an exact situation lke this vividly. This isn't the greatest situation to be in , totally been there done tht.
Its not fun n can bring out the sexial neediness as well as vulnerability in any dude being frusterated.
There's alot at play here. The most important thing thts at play is tht she's the one in power controling where it's going to go.
Always remove touch first leaving her want more, make her work for it. Wht we get easily we dnt value. Thts the simpliest sweet answer but tease her sexually when in its acceptable n sexy for her cause if u dnt she will be creeped out trying to remove touch first. You dnt you'll always be the trying to pursue for something where she's going to be screening u.

Gotcha. I'll just cut off most of the making out for a 2-3 weeks and just focus on getting to know her better. Then resume from there and see what happens.

Just curious though, how did the situation work out for you?

Not good... at all. Dnt recommend u try tht either cause tht wouldn't work unless u were going somewhere w it .Keep in mind girls

put guys in this "friend zone" when they try be mr.comfort too much not escalating or touching at all thinking it'll help. The girl will be thinking ," wtf?! Wht changed his agenda? Oh k he just not interested he just wants to be friends now." Thts wht will happen. Show interest but not to where she's pushing u off of her. Always touch early on but remove touch first.Then progress as u do. Touch , take it away, make a bigger move, take it away.

Okay. I have a lot to say about this but I'm gonna keep it short. You shouldn't have agreed to be her boyfriend before at least getting head from her. This is how it works: get her invested and into the habit of doing these things for you, and reward her by giving her more of your time and loyalty. She has to earn you. Otherwise you'll find better. If you agree to be with her on those type of terms (her slapping your hand away) man its gonna be a pain in the ass in the future. It sounds weird but when the guy is the one putting his foot on the breaks and trying to divert her sexual advances, it makes her crave it more.

Here's the tough news though. Shes young, inexperienced and nervous... This wont change overnight.

_________________
Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."

Thanks, but I doubt I would have been able to get a blowjob before committing. I've been with girls like her before and one time a girl asked me to be her boyfriend after talking a few times and kissing a couple (she didn't even have my phone number until that night). I told her that she should wait a few weeks and then ask me again. She got scared, thought I was a douche, and we didn't talk much after that. So I figured I try a different approach with this girl.

I think I may have fucked up with this though. Last night we went out for dinner and walked to an ice cream place. Saw our mutual friends (who are also dating) there and talked for a little bit. One thing that came up there was that the girls wanted to go on a double date thing next Friday. After ice cream, we went back to my car and just chilled there for a while. I reclined the driver seat all the way so I could kind of lie down, she had it reclined about halfway, and we just sat there talking for a while. I think this was a really good talk and I was able to connect with her a lot more emotionally. But eventually I moved into the back seat, and she followed me soon after.

We kissed for maybe 15 seconds, then I stopped. We didn’t for a while after that, but she seemed like she really wanted to make out, and I was feeling it too so I went in, which was a bad idea. We made out for a while, and I started getting really turned on. I had my hand on/under her bra, and moved her hand over my dick. She let her hand just rest there (didn’t do anything with it), and eventually I tried to move her hand under my pants, to which she said she didn’t want too.

After a few minutes of me asking her why not, her saying she couldn’t really describe why not, and me making jokes so that I didn’t come across as too sexually needy, she said that she felt uncomfortable and that we were going too fast. One thing I think I did wrong was that I told her that I answered her “what is this” question (when i agreed to be bf/gf), while I could have not answered, so she should answer my question when I asked why not do sexual stuff like that.

When she said she felt uncomfortable/we’re going too fast, I responded by saying that I felt that sexual stuff was a big part of relationships, that’s it something fun, pleasurable, intimate that we could do with each other. She then asked if being in car was intimate, and i laughed and said no. With that, I also told if we’re dating and into each other, why does there even have to be a thing such as going to fast. I asked her if it was because she was worried I was going to leave her if she gave up too easily, and I don’t remember exactly but I think she just said she was uncomfortable with it again. But I told her I wouldn’t force her to do anything she felt uncomfortable doing. Then we just kind of sat there for a little while, kissed for a few seconds, then just sat there again. Eventually I said let’s head back (it was getting late).

On the ride home we had a typical conversation. I was making jokes, she was laughing. When we got to her place, we kissed goodbye. Here is another place where I think made a big mistake. Whenever I kiss her goodbye, she comes with an open mouth, tongue french kiss thing. When saying goodbye, I just want a quick peck, not something like that. After her goodbye french kiss thing, I said “hold on one more thing,” and told her to make it just a peck instead of what she was doing. We kissed goodbye again with just a peck, and she just said “goodbye” and left. She didn’t seem too happy about that.

How can I correct my errors? I feel that I came across as only wanting her for sex, which obviously is something that isn’t good. Do I just ignore any sexual stuff for 2-3 weeks now? She showed very high interest level before. Never flaked, always excited to talk, etc., but I feel that may change now.

You're taking sex way to literally man. It's not about just stimulating her vagina. You've gotta stimulate her whole body bro. You've gotta make her feel like a fucking goddess. Make her beg for you to fuck her brains out. Make her want it dude. You've gotta make her feel like a woman. It's hard to explain over a forum lol