Hobby Problem



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 Post subject: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:11 am 
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Hi everyone,

On first dates I always get asked what I do for fun (fun, hobbies, etc...).

I like to drink on weekends and I like to play poker (like 2-3 times a week).

I play poker in a free points-based league (no gambling of any kind is permitted - it's like winning tickets at an arcade for cheap prizes except we get points that can earn us trophies).

The one thing I learned tho (100% true) is that the girl will end the date within 15 minutes of me mentioning poker. Doesn't matter that the league is free, that I don't play for $, any of that. And I really love poker - let me stress that point again - I really LOVE poker. And I'm good at it. I really enjoy it.

My question:

Do I refrain from mentioning poker at all or be comfortable stating that I play poker and if they leave then that's fine?

I'm like 0-20 on this (0 represents the number of girls who stick around if I mention poker).

Thx in advance for any and all advice.


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 7:14 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Location: Los Angeles
Are you sure its the poker or is it the drinking on the weekend? This isn't something that would scare women away. Do you ask if they know how to play or offer to teach them?

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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 7:51 am 
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Hi - thx for the response.

I don't list drinking on the weekend as a hobby when girls ask lol! It's just 1 of a few things I enjoy and it's a couple of beers at most.

I think the 2 probs is that they view poker as a form of gambling and that there is a natural societal negative connotation associated with poker (at least I think there is).

In all honesty I play in a free league and just view it as another strategy game (like chess or backgammon).

But, trust me, girls run for the hills when I mention poker. I even asked a girl one time why she was ending the date and she told me I maybe shouldn't mention poker till date 3 or 4.

But I feel like I should be able to freely speak my mind. I just know the unfortunate result of this one if I do.


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 7:58 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Quote:
I think the 2 probs is that they view poker as a form of gambling and that there is a natural societal negative connotation associated with poker (at least I think there is).
I must live too close to Las Vegas to be able to relate to this as a problem.

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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:06 am 
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I wish it wasn't so much a prob where I'm from. I've met so many intelligent, charismatic, and funny people playing the game.

I found a girl once who played but she was only temporarily in town. Finding a girl that plays would be great.


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:58 am 
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The Coach
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Quote:
Quote:
I think the 2 probs is that they view poker as a form of gambling and that there is a natural societal negative connotation associated with poker (at least I think there is).
I must live too close to Las Vegas to be able to relate to this as a problem.
Which makes me say...

OP, why don't you move to vegas? If you like poker so much... that's where you want to be.

You're obviously some type of a risk taker. Pack your shit. Take a few grand and move out to Vegas. Your poker playing will be much more accepted... Girls out in Vegas are pretty attracted to that type of lifestyle.


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 4:33 pm 
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I'd love to live in Vegas (or Cali where there are a million casinos).

If I thought I was good enough to play for a living I would consider it. But the competition is fierce these days.

That was thought-provoking tho - move to an area where the game is sociably acceptable and girls would be okay with it.

Thx for the advice guys


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:36 pm 
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From now on, you shall only take your first dates to the casino. Problem solved.

I've done it a few times, and it's actually quite fun. Least you won't get bored, can get a few drinks and emotions will be running high. What else could you ask for during a first date?

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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 1:28 am 
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Must be in how you say it.


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 3:12 pm 
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Lol i was on a date with a girl at the weekend went for a few drinks had dinner going great and i proposed the casino. She refused as she end up spending to much money and loves the thrill. We're going to go this weekend though and have some fun.

If a girl wont accept you for you dude dnt change to make her happy ! FUCK THAT ! Be your own man and confident in yourself.

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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 6:01 pm 
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I imagine the problem is not the fact that you mention poker

The problem might be your conversation skills

Are you energetic?
Do you vibe well?
Are you bringing positive energy?
Are you getting to know her as well?
Ask her questions about her, make the conversation relatable, interesting for the both of you
Are you a good listener?
A good story teller?
Do you flirt with her?
Can you read her body language, can you read her mind?
Can you tell how she is feeling?
Can you lead?
Can you show her a good time?
Are you comfortable?
Is she comfortable?

or are you just talking about poker and making them bored?

Poker is not the problem here.

The problem might be deeper.

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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 6:50 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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can you read her mind?
Mind reading game. This is some next level shit.

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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 7:52 pm 
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Saying you play poker isnt the issue. But as a general rule you want to be able to make a passion adn emotionally evoking conversation string about something girls find somewhat interest. Poker, video games, and your rock collection wont do it.

But blaming the poker topic for your failure isn't correct. The next time a girl asks you "what do you do" just tell them you "sell cocaine to middle-schoolers when you aren't involved in your normal investment baking activities". You can go from their.


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 9:39 pm 
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Thx guys - I see what you're saying.

I guess I do pretty well with girls when I don't mention poker so I just thought the problem was me playing it.

But maybe you guys are right - maybe I'm failing to build rapport or ooze confidence, or maybe my demeanor, or something.

I'll kind of go back through some of those dates in my head to see what I could've done better (game-wise) and try to plug any leaks.

Thx!!


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 Post subject: Re: Hobby Problem
PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 10:08 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:54 am
Posts: 155
Quote:
Thx guys - I see what you're saying.

I guess I do pretty well with girls when I don't mention poker so I just thought the problem was me playing it.

But maybe you guys are right - maybe I'm failing to build rapport or ooze confidence, or maybe my demeanor, or something.

I'll kind of go back through some of those dates in my head to see what I could've done better (game-wise) and try to plug any leaks.

Thx!!
You want to talk about poker or mention it, just F-ing take ownership of it. Make it sound like the most exciting, bad ass thing in the world. Don't go on and on about it, just mention it, because it is an important aspect of your life. Talk about reading people, tells, etc and how bad ass you are at it. You could even use it as an excuse to kino escalate.


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