Hey guys,
Just need your opinion on following matter. I'm over analyzing this, so I can't think straight.

Situation:
Girl I'm exclusive with was all over me last week wednesday in public. No big deal.
We already agreed in advance to see each other on sunday evening.
So sunday morning I texted her at what time i would be home and she replied that she wasn't feeling to good and would rather rest bla bla bla....big fucking deal. We ended facebook chatting that night.
Yesterday I texted her that she I was passing by her place in the evening. She was down with that.
I had tons of stuff to do in teh evening so when I finaly checked my cell phone I saw she texted me the following.

"Hey I'm home but I really don't feel too good. I think I'm going straight to bed because I don't want stay home on new years eve. Is it something urgent you need to tell me ? or can you wait untill tomorrow for your kiss "

I replied with a simple ' OK '


At first I was just cool about and told myself ' ok, i'm going to "next" this one. Obviously she isn't respecting my time '

But I saw she was still online on facebook all the time till midnight. ( Not that I spy on her, but it's right in my face when I logon to facebook )
So I started analyzing this and kept on thinking to much about it.
I feel like I can't see the forest through the trees.

Is she flaking on me ? Should I next her ?


Happy new year guys !

Geez, she not feeling well and probably feels ugly. Chill out.

Back off and stop being needy or you're going to ruin it. What is it with PUA's that if a girl can't make it one day it automatically makes her a flakey bitch?

People are allowed to be busy and cancel plans, the bottom line is she is still texting you healthy and promising you kiss, chill out and find some other plans for tonight.

This is all what is needed:

you- "okay, hope you feel better"

If she keeps doing this 3/4 times in a row then perhaps you're in trouble but i'm confident that is not the case with this chick.

p.s. i have my phone connected to facebook and is always 'online' - but even poorly people can still message and play with their computer/phones and talk to people despite their illness. You're just being paranoid and probably thinking she is speaking to 7 other guys that want to fuck her.

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

UPDATE

Spot on PEBBLE !

At NYE she came over at my bar ( have a bartending job as extra income ) and kissed me goodbye when she was going home.
But she stayed for another 5 min and couldn't let me go while I was greeting my friends and customers.
Later she texted me that seeing me was the best part of her night.

Afterwards I felt like such a 'needy child' for initialy posting this topic

Anyway she's got midterm exams SPAM so I'm backing off and giving her alot of space now...I know her school is important to her


( PS: I'm fucked anyway, I had a date the other night with this chick I hadn't seen in a while, no fucking...just fingerbanging and kissing. But turns out she is the cousin of the girl I posted this topic about. I'm so gonna hear it in a couple of days hehehe )

We all make this mistake..

I'll make it simple..

A chick is only going to do to you what she feels like she can get away with. If she thinks she can flake on you and you will STILL want her anyway she is going to do it. Its a play from her part of figure out where you point of strength is. So the fact that you are accepting this is the reason why she is doing it in the first place.

Whats more important to you, this girl or you time? The girl obviously; and you need to correct that. You don't have to next her man, but disappear for a week. And I mean a week. Don't call, don't text. NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS. Hold strong for a week and then return. When you do just let her know " I didn't feel like my time was being respected so I took sometime to myself. Its not personal; I just needed to do that for me"

She's currently losing respect for you and this is why she is behaving this way. Its a slippery slope so you're going to have to take action asap.

Disappear man. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And with the time you spend apart from her she will be texting you and those text will allow you to build yourself up emotionally and reclaim your self respect. Just knowing that she is energetically throwing her attention at you.

Take action now man.

I've made this mistake many of times in the past; and I've had to learn what I'm telling you now.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

Thanks Eddie !

This is stuff you don't find in any ebook!

...but I do still have a question.

I'm unofficially dating this girl ( been seeing this one for about 2 months regulary, multiple sexdates a week)
Things kinda escalated quickly since she lives realy realy close to me.

Do you still think I should apply your advice in this situation?

I'm just asking since I don't want you to think this chick is just a FB to me. ( or is this just my problem that I think to much of her ? )

Thanks for your input bro!

I can only speak for myself and what I have encounters through my students. But that the point in which you begin "over thinking" - the point in which you feel like you have to "think" a bit before responding to a text message. That is the point in which respect is beginning to go out the window. The reason you made this post in the first place was to get some assistance. You needed "Help" - you didn't need help the first 2 weeks when everything was lovely because you were in control. You need help now.

And I will revamp the idea of "waiting a week" - I say a week because its a general time that it will take for most guys to get themselves together. But you know yourself better than me. But it would be wise to WAIT until you are sure you have reclaimed yourself. At least 3-4 days..

Now I don't have to do this anymore because i'm more on the end of mastering my emotions. I know how to snap myself back in check quicker. But what i am telling you is an example of some of the things I had to do to train myself to be where i am now.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

Thank you Eddie

I am 'over thinking', therefore I will not neglect your given advice.

I hope this post comes to the attention of alot of newbies, since precious advice is given by you and PEBBLE.

I agree with Pebble, she was probably legit sick.

To freeze her out right now would be an over reacton and a giant dick move. Since when did PUA theory trump common sense and being a decent person?

Obv if this becomes a pattern it should be addressed nut she even said seeing you was the best part of her night, what more do you need? How bout you give her the benefit of the doubt?

Don't let someone talk you into needlessly sabotaging this.

Not everyone is afraid to lose their girlfriends greg.

The task at hand is not some PUNISHMENT for her bad behavior. Its time he's taking to regain control over himself. If he continues to take acton from this weak " over thinking" the relationship point of view that will "sabotage" the relationship.

Its not about her, its about him. And hell.. He is the reason she is acting up in the first place. If he did the necessary acts to maintain respect in a relationship he probably wouldn't be in this situation.

Once a guy gets to the point in which he's making post about his relationship on the internet for "help" he is already in a position of not leading his relationship. He's looking for guys on the internet to do it for him. So my request is that he separate himself for HIM so that he can remember who he was before the relationship - which will give him the sense of self control he needs.

But thanks for giving me a reason to clarify.

Peace & Love

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

I agree that a freeze out for a week is a little to harsh...since she still regularly text me & facebook messages me.

BUT, Eddie made me realize that I still have a weak frame. I'm not respecting myself and sacrificing my own time for hers.

I'm currently checking out what books on inner game I can read. It's a part of pick up I skipped and am now starting to notice the importance of it .


I think we can close this thread.

Thank you guys

( I'll save this under my favourites )

ok... I agree with pretty much 100% of what Pebble said and I'm going to add some things for you...

Girls are just flakey.

They flake on other girls all the time. My girlfriend plans to hang out with so many of her friends during the week and they are always blowing each other off. It's just how girls are. They are emotional... A girl has a bad day at work... she doesn't get over it like you do. Emotion changes.

How can you fix it?

Stop "planning" so much. Dude... when you hit up one of your guy friends to hang out... I'm guessing it looks a LITTLE something like this...

You: "Yo, what are you up to?"
Him: "Not shit. Just hanging out at the house. Come by."
You: "Cool. Be there in 20."

Do the same fucking thing with girls. Stop making it so formal.

And second...

Be more persistent.

Man, you gave up soooo easily. I'll give you some pointers.

So, say a girl says something like "Well... I would say come over but I just got off work and I feel really gross."

You could say something like "No big deal. I'm pretty nasty too. I just left the gym. I can't stay too long anyways. What's your address again?"

Overcome the objection. Give her a new objection. Don't just take "no" for an answer. Try a LITTLE bit atleast... Show the girl you're actually interested in seeing her and not just pissed off cause your "text game routine" isn't working.

Girls will even play fucking dumb sometimes and come up with stupid things like "Haha. I forgot what my address is."

Then you have to respond saying "Put your shoes on and go outside. Look at the front of your house and tell me what it says. Then tell me what street you are on. Make it quick. I'm tired of waiting for your ass."

Take some authority dude. You're letting girls walk all over you.