Being in a good mood.

I found a desire for being taken seriously inside of me. When not being taken seriously, I develop fury. In fact, I have a naturally very low tolerance for disrespect and not being taken seriousy. If I cannot retaliate, which happens 98 per cent of the time, I grow more fury inside of me. My parents used to say that "I am just angry". I could tell them as often as I wanted that there were reasons for being angry, but they did not take me seriously. Therefore I became more angry.

With pickup it goes on. As I am angry and every day, more fury comes in, people recommend anything but incorporating my energy into pickup, which is the only congruent thing an angry person can do.

I do radical honesty from time to time and shock people by labeling anything that disturbs me about them.

There is a psychotherapist, called Robert August Masters. According to him, fury is a concession of one's own vulnerability. Fury or anger can mean being hurt, pain, powerlessness, frustration, confusion or anxiety.

Here it is powerlessness and confusion. When I go up to a woman and she tells me that she has to leave to see her boyfriend and goes without hesitation, I get furious because neither did the community tell me what to do then nor do I come up with something.

Being happy is not congruent then with the events that happened.

There needs to be some external successes at least to feel good about myself. IME, being in the now is mental masturbation.

When thinking "everything sucks" I feel good about myself and ironically powerful. When thinking "Hmm, what can I do now to improve this?" I feel less powerful. Then I realize when I come up with something "I don't do that anyway", which is true given my past.

To summarize: even though on the surface anger keeps me in an unproductive state, it is still energy that should be used instead of converted into something so-called "positive".

When she makes me angry, I need to show it to be congruent. But IME all it does is amp things up till I realize: I can go on with this but there is never going to turn anything good out of this. After a while she will leave using some lame ass excuse. And that is also based on experience.

Still, my fury/anger is there and it is energy that needs to be used the way it is to get the women I want. There are many angry people out there and most of them get laid.

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I have been doing pickup since 1st of March in 2005.