Hello!
A somewhat longish introduction about me is on the "Introduce Yourself" section.
25-years-old-new-to-pua-vt185975.html
The post below is also long, I apologize, but I like to write a lot, apparently.
I would appreciate some analysis on one relationship I had.
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We met in a nightclub. I had only had one beer and decided to leave it at that. Before that, I usually needed to have a few more before I could approach women.
She: 8 or 9, tall and slim brunette with womanly silhouette, cute face.
All dates happened during July...
1. How we met
That specific night I did not feel like meeting anyone, however, one girl caught my attention. She seemed to be on her own. I approached her and asked if she liked the concert, she said she did. I came up with the idea of using hangman to find out her name and let her guess mine. The idea came out of the blue and it lead to a lot of laughter. I asked why had she come alone, she said she did not have a boyfriend at the moment and her best female friends were busy. So she came alone.
It was quite loud where we were so I offered to go to a a separate room with a nice sofa. We just sat there and talked about music, our hobbies etc. No touching or kissing happened.
I accompanied her to her home, got her phone number, had a hug in the end.
2.
We met at 19:00 after her shift ended, and just walked and talked, had some great and intense (for me) kissing sessions. She said she finds me very attractive uhm... chemically.
This lasted for 5 hours.
3.
We went to a cafe and had a meal, nothing extraordinary happened.
4.
Another walk. No kissing.
5.
Another walk. No kissing.
6.
I arranged a romantic fondue date on the beach. Sliced fruit, melted chocolate. Lots of kissing and talking again. When I was accompanying her to her apartment, she initiated conversations about striptease, what I think about it, and what I think about love marks (hickeys?). Totally threw me off-guard... I admitted I had never had a girlfriend dance for me, she said she finds it normal if gf stripteases for her bf. I also admitted I had never had hickeys. lol
[I guess she was hinting at sex?]
7. The end?
We went to a symphonic concert (my idea - lol). She liked it, but after the concert she started throwing questions at me:
what are we? What is going on between us?
Are we dating? Was this a date or just friends going to a concert?
I was caught off-guard, she caught on to that. She said she has noticed I am uncomfortable with hugging, that I feel tense and nervous.
I had also bumped into her on the street twice when she was with a girlfriend. I did not know if I should hug her publicly or not (lol), so I just said hi and we had a casual talk. I know how retarded this sounds, yes...
She told only feels friendliness towards me and we can stay friends. We just said good byes and that was it.
8
Now this is where I screwed up more than ever before. I asked her to meet me and talk a bit, clear things up. I thought that explaining my issue with touching could help. So I told about my issues with physical touching, growing up without parents. She said now she understands...
I did not beg for her to be my gf, however. She said we can remain friends, I said OK. And we have not met each other since, except unintentionally bumping into one another on the street.
What the fuck, right?
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Now, she has been messaging me on Facebook once in a while asking how I'm doing.
We have the same guitar teacher, so sometimes we meet there.
Sometimes I bump into her on the street, since she's a reporter and is on the street often with her camera man.
I am aware of many mistakes:
I told her too much about my troubles and issues, that is not attracting to women. That is just stupid. Whatever shit I will have going on in my life, I will pause thoughts about that and focus my full attention on the girl when I'm with her.
I did not know how to escalate, she caught on to that.
She also caught on to me being nervous, at one point she noticed my knee was shaking... lol. During kissing she kept telling I have to continue breathing... lol
Thing is, I have met a bunch of girls this year and I can't seem to get this one out of my head. I am not desperate for her. I just want to know if I can ignite the spark once again and see what happens.
I was at a low point of my life when I met her, had some family issues, which I told her about. Should not have, right?
This has friend-zone written all over it, right? At best?
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My inability to move forward with this girl actually motivated me a lot to get my shit together. Dance classes, guitar lessons, going to gym. I have had some dates with other girls since. I also saw a psychologist for a couple of months. I knew I need someone from the outside to help me, provide a different point of view. I had some family issues, got diagnosed with cancer (wrongly even...), had extreme pressure at work.
Right now I feel much better about myself, much more confident and in-check. I realize that I am physically attractive, and can be successful with this PUA stuff. I just need to practice and go further, one step at a time. And I know it will take time, same as everything.
4 months have passed since we split up.
The reaction I expect - all of you will tell me to move the fuck on and find someone else to date and fuck, correct?
Edit: I guess I have one-itis. Ehh. 
CHAT