She's in control, how to switch?



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 3:08 pm 
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I know this girl pretty well and she's coming to my place on monday. I haven't kiss closed her yet though. What's the problem is that yesterday we went to grab something to eat and I suddenly felt like she's playing with me. Mentioning some other guy, setting the date etc... And it bugs me, it bugs me a fucking lot.
I know that she's coming to my place on monday and that I'll see what's what then, but still. It's like she's in control of the interaction and that I like her more than she likes me.
And all this bugs me so much that I'm thinking about bailing out. Can somebody please give me some advice what to do, if she's really playing with me and if I should bail out....? And why the fuck does she keep mentioning that guy...Thanks in advance.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 3:27 pm 
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I know this girl pretty well and she's coming to my place on monday. I haven't kiss closed her yet though. What's the problem is that yesterday we went to grab something to eat and I suddenly felt like she's playing with me. Mentioning some other guy, setting the date etc... And it bugs me, it bugs me a fucking lot.
I know that she's coming to my place on monday and that I'll see what's what then, but still. It's like she's in control of the interaction and that I like her more than she likes me.
And all this bugs me so much that I'm thinking about bailing out. Can somebody please give me some advice what to do, if she's really playing with me and if I should bail out....? And why the fuck does she keep mentioning that guy...Thanks in advance.

Hey there,

I closed your duplicate thread in the relationship forum - which was just a duplicate of this one. That forum is to only be used for girlfriends (plus don't post duplicates).

Now as for your problem - you must act like you don't give a fuck. You have to be unaffected by what she's saying when she brings up other guys, etc...

She's shit testing you to gauge your jealousy. The correct response is to ignore the comment, or play it off funny/sarcastically...

IE: holy shit, he sounds awesome! I almost want to sleep with the guy

If at some point you enter into an actual relationship with her and she keeps this shit up - then you can tell her to cut it out.

Your other option: Ya, bail... If you don't think you need that shit, then don't take that shit. She's just one girl... you've been out with her a couple of times. Have others...


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 4:07 pm 
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How are you seeing shit test here Charles? This doesn't sound like a romantic relationship at all. Sounds like friendzone


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 4:25 pm 
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How are you seeing shit test here Charles? This doesn't sound like a romantic relationship at all. Sounds like friendzone
Same here.

This guy hasn't even tried to kiss her or escalate from what I understand. I'm not sure a girl would really shit test a guy she's friendzoned. She only shit tests guys that are interested and want a piece.

To the op... Don't ever, ever, ever bring a girl out on a date and at least try to kiss her. Period. Simple as that. If she's interested but is a girl that moves slow, she might reject it, but she won't go anywhere. If shes wondering if you are interested, you've just answered it for her.

The only way going in for the kiss can hurt you is if the girl wasn't interested in the first place, in which case now you have your answer and you can move on to the next girl.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 4:30 pm 
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What's the problem is that yesterday we went to grab something to eat and I suddenly felt like she's playing with me. Mentioning some other guy, setting the date etc...
I suppose this may not be at the shit test stage since he has not actually had anything with this girl... I more was taking the "she's coming to my place Monday" as a fairly strong indicator she was into him... but hey, maybe that's not the case.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 4:39 pm 
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I'd say it's somewhere between the replies above. I'd take this as a kind of "I like you, but you're being a pussy. I'm thinking about friendzoning you for this guy, so I'll bring the idea up and see how bent out of shape you get" ...nothing that a woman says, should ever diminish you. Just ignore it. She's coming to your place, so you've got no reason to initiate any conversation until then - you'll be on her mind, she'll be curious as to why you haven't called, this will raise attraction.

I say this to everyone, but I'd suggest reading Corey Wayne's book and watching his videos. Google: Corey Wayne Scribd (his book is on a website called Scribd, or you can get it in he members area of his website)

You'll learn a lot.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 10:38 am 
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Thx guys.. We actually have kissed but she freaked out, because she super shy - spends her days and nights in her room, home or in front of the computer and she barely goes out because of social anxiety. I've known her for quite a while, but we've been out only a few times. 3 times I think... She wanted to take it slow at that time but I pushed a bit too much. So she knows what is going on...
So her coming to my place is pretty cool. But still, she's acting strange/different lately so that's why I'm "worried".

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