Met a girl at a party. K close, could've been F close but didn't have rubber and I'm pretty strict about this sort of thing. Stayed the night.

A week later I set up a date through text, had lunch, went to the park, walked through the streets, great date, heaps of fun, etc. She basically said that "she's just waiting for me to ask her out again, etc.". Heaps of hints at how she's gonna "cook for me", that her car was still not "broken in" despite being 6 years old, etc.

She texted me a few times during that week. Friday a week after, I ask her out on a last minute date. She's already got plans, but says she's available Sunday. I said keep sunday free but didn't lock it down. Saturday comes around and I text her and she calls me back saying that she's not up to it on Sunday, some lame excuse, etc. She says she's busy the two weekends after but she's not fobbing me off and she might be able to meet during the week... but I was busy (i'm usually busy during the week).

I left it there for a couple of weeks. Then the other day I was free on a weekday and ask her out, last minute. She declines, but offers the same day the week after or the week after that. I said to keep it free and i'd get back to her on it.

This week comes around and I text her and ask if she's free and she says she's got plans that she's made months ago and accidentally made plans with me. She says she's sorry and she def wants to meet up. Suggests that we meet tomorrow or next week.

So I've just plainly ignored her now.

One problem with this girl is that she never answers her phone. She always keeps her phone in her bag which isn't always with her and I can't really call her. So my game is limited to text.

She's not completely blank flaked me given that she's offering alternatives, but attraction's clearly gone. What the hell do you think went wrong? Should I lock down tomorrow? Should I say, "Hey, i'm meeting up with friends tomorrow but given both of us seem to be so busy, i can reschedule them for you, but you gotta promise that you won't change your mind"....or is that too needy?

Or just forget about her? Ignore her?

She just sounds busy, man.

You need to keep the attraction alive though (at one point is certainly sounds like she was interested)... The odd text or call (if you can get her to pick up) would go a long way.

Meantime, try saying "When are you free this week?" instead of trying for specific days and times.

She's not flaking, she's genuinely busy, as are you, and you both have issues sorting out your schedules. In addition, it might help if you told her when YOU"RE available and then try to work towards locking down a date. Do this IN ADVANCE, and no more last minute invites.

She may be busy or she may not man. But chicks find things to make time for when they want to. My current girl is crazy busy all the time and she still manages to see me 3 times a week. So I wouldn't blame it on her being busy. To me it seems like you tried to play it "too cool" and "nonchalant" and things naturally fizzled out the way they do whenever guys behave like that before they seal the deal.

If you want her your'e going to have to reignite the flame and pursue her a bit more. Call her up in a few days or text her just to "talk". Don't try asking her out just hit her up, be friendly, flirty and see how she's doing. Let her take the next step from there.

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So a couple days later I just called her and she didn't pickup...but she called me back later that day and i set up a date. Went well...a bit last minute but got a little hot in the car. She's staying with relatives so logistically we weren't able to do anything further.

Today I called her and she didn't answer. She texted a while later saying that she was sorry she missed the call.

I don't get this. We go out and we get pretty intimate. She seems to have heaps of fun, always suggests that she wants to see me again, etc. Then she doesn't initiate a whole lot and I end up having to make contact. I'm trying to keep it as minimal and nonchalant as possible but it always feels like she's not that interested when i'm not around her.

So yes, it feels like she's just genuinely busy and not actually flakey, but at the same time doesn't feel like she's invested enough. What's the play with this sort of behavior? Suggestions? I'm building sexual tension and physical connection but it doesn't seem to translate to more interest. Another guy? Fresh exit from another relationship? I'm puzzled.

Emotional connection? What about that? The most important aspect of building anything substantial with a female? What do you guys talk about? How do you touch her in the moments when you aren't being sexual? What types of things do you say to her? How sure is she of what it is you are looking for in your life? What does she come from? Where does she want to be? Who were her parents? And where are they today?

It sounds like you want the girl to like you but you aren't even being "likable". I thought you just wanted to get in and get out from the types of things you say, but now I'm wondering if your frustration is turning into oneitis.

Try not calling her for a week. Sounds like you're forcing yourself on her.

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