Hi all!

I'm new to this community and I hope people will be helpful here in my quest for personal change so I can later give something back to the community!

What I want to ask/ tell you guys in this thread is that I have this massive problem with people in general, so not with girls only.

My problem is that after I met someone and had one or multiple good conversation(s) with them (where both of us are talking around 50% of the time; I ask them questions to get to know them a little better and talk about myself as well enthusiastically), when I see them again I simply can’t find anything decent anymore to talk about with them…

Let’s say I know a person since a week, all I can still talk about with them is how their or my day was/ what still happened since the last time I saw them. If any decent conversation is going on, it’s them talking almost all the time and me giving short replies or asking them open ended questions so they can tell things.
But I always feel like that momentum from the first (few) conversation(s) is gone and I can never get back in that initial mood again that I was in when we first talked.

The truth is though that I feel like I also need to be talking (at least to a certain extent) to enjoy having the conversation. If I could establish this then I’m 100% sure that I could pretty much become a people’s person.

When I translate this problem into the few short relationships I’ve already had with girls since I’ve been travelling through Australia (in a few months I’m going to New Zealand as well for a year), I notice that after a few days they simply lose (sexual) interest in me because I cannot cope anymore with entertaining them with conversations.

I have always had this problem (I have the same thing with my group of friends back home) but it’s time to actively do something about it! Travelling gives me plenty of time and opportunities to work on it and solving this problem would open gigantic doors for me!

A step of action I’ve already taken is signing up for Chief’s Seductive Introvert program but this might not be the perfect solution for this specific problem.

I was wondering if you guys have any idea what I am doing wrong and what I can do to change this?


Thanks,

End0rphine

Hi Endorphine,

I think that you just need to relax a bit more (to begin with). When you seem someone again, just comment on something that they have told you that they were going to do or tell them a story that you think that they will find funny. Just set the tone, be relaxed and show that you appreciate them being around you. When they said that you appreciate them, they will be a lot more responsive towards you, and you will begin to find social interactions more interesting, meaningful and enjoyable.

Good luck

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We've helped over 43,194 subscribers cure their fear of approaching women! Please join them! http://www.attractionboss.com/optin

Hey End0rphine,

First of all, a big THANK YOU for your support by joining my program. I'm sure you'll find the content in Month 3's training very relevant to your issue, but let me give you some personalized feedback here in your thread right now since you're only in Month 1 at the moment.

Your mindset in conversation is currently centered around entertaining.

Switch your mindset about conversations from entertaining to learning. Instead of trying to impress anyone through conversation in any way, focus on learning something about them that other people might now know about. Try to learn what makes them tick. Try to learn their motivations and values.

When it comes to your side of the talking, talk about stuff that actually matters to you and see if they vibe with anything. This will let you connect with them deeply through conversation.