Rusty - first date help



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 Post subject: Rusty - first date help
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:46 am 
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Hey guys, I guess I went through a "pre-life" crisis lately and after talking with a few friends and help
from Franco I decided it was time to get on my game.

So I was in the middle of deleting stupid apps like tinder, etc. when this girl replies to a very old message I sent. The message was regarding her "about me" and was kept short and witty, her response was "finally, a real message" haha so I kept the rest on point and quickly steered the conversation where I wanted it to go. Turns out we have some good common ground, got her number and arranged for a date this Tuesday. (Ha I still got it :p)

This girl seems quite interested in meeting, I certainly built some great rapport. We originally agreed to grabbing dinner then hitting Whyte Ave (the club district) and despite her having classes in the morning she still agreed and said "well it won't be the first time I went hungover" haha. She really seems like a genuine person and not a "whore-ish party girl" so it was sorta unexpected but till take it haha

Now this is where things get sorta tricky, I have a job that makes me travel all over the place with no real set schedule and I was supposed to be back around 4pm I won't be back until 9-10pm. She's pretty busy with school and working 2 jobs, etc that Tuesday is the only good day otherwise it'll be a week + before we can arrange something else. I never told her an exact time yet but tomorrow morning was planning on sending a confirmation text so she's unaware of my situation.

My question being

What should I do with this situation, I really want to meet with her but clearly dinner is out of the question. Should I just bite the bullet and reschedule for a better time?

I also had an idea of just starting things out at a small quieter pub to better get acquainted then maybe move to a club/bar, but is that really an ideal meeting for a first date? I've tried reading up on this and it seems it could work but I'd figure I would ask the board prior to locking anything in.

If I were to take her to a a pub, are there any tips/tricks I should know beforehand? It's been 5+ years since I've been on a date with anyone so I'm a little rusty.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:19 am 
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Quote:
I also had an idea of just starting things out at a small quieter pub to better get acquainted then maybe move to a club/bar, but is that really an ideal meeting for a first date?
Yes. Don't have to move to the club/bar either.
Quote:
If I were to take her to a a pub, are there any tips/tricks I should know beforehand? It's been 5+ years since I've been on a date with anyone so I'm a little rusty.
Treat it as what it will be, a learning experience. An idgaf attitude will help you.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:24 am 
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Congrats man! Great job working in a date with her!

Assuming its your first date, I would, preferably, not go with dinner and clubbing. These are the kind of dates for when you're in some form of already established relationship.

I do agree, that going clubbing with her, might lead to an f-close, if you play your cards right. If f-close is all you're after then go for it.

In case you want a relationship with this girl, I would recommend another kind of first date;
Quote:
My plan is to meet up with her at a starbucks, I will buy us both a coffee to go, and then take a walk with her, where she can tell me all about herself.

I will tell her that I have to be somewhere later (around two hours after the date has begun), so to let her know; Here is the time window. Personally I dont like first dates to be too long, and I think a two hour walk with coffee to go, is enough as a first date. This is without actually telling her the reason. Just telling her that "By the way, I have to be somewhere around xx:xx o'clock".

When I greet her, I won't kiss her on the mouth, but just on the cheek, lead her into starbucks, so she can order. Afterwards ill grab her hand, and go hand in hand with her. When I have to go, I will say goodbye with a Kiss-close.
This is my description of how my first date is going to be this sunday, with a girl I k-closed last friday.

In my opinion a first date should be short (although open to a potential f-close) and simple, cheap and not static as in a dinner or movie.


Last edited by wildcard198 on Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:27 am 
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Good post wiildcard. I agree with you.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 6:08 am 
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Hey guys, thanks for the advice and I think this really helped me get back into my old groove. I just sorta needed that soft slap from someone and told to wake up haha I appreciate it guys but heres another one for you!

I shoot her a text in the afternoon around 2pm and said the typical: "hey XXX, looking forward to tonight. -Chad"

And again, heres where things get funny, heres her reply: "What are the details? Like time, where, dress code? I have class tomorrow and need to be home tonight :/"

Me: "I haven't really planned that far ahead, just figured a pub. Grab a few drinks and chat a bit and take it from there. If tonight isn't good we can always reschedule for another time"
Her: "I just have to be home tonight. I'm not into sleeping with someone I just met"

Im like woah, wtf!?! - Then I realized ITS A SHIT TEST haha

Me: "Who said we're having sex tonight? I haven't figured out if your my type yet"
Her: "haha exactly why I have to be home. But seriously, thats all guys seem to think thats the only thing they need"
Me: Just promise to keep your mind outta the gutter, I like to keep the whole "sleeping together" talk for the 7th date
Her: And just so I know, when is the next time your free? I still do have a little cold and went home sick today from classes. And you can wait that long, thats impressive ;)

So I completely ignore her, and proceed as usual

Me: Lets get through the first date, how's 9:30 sound?
Her: Um, I'm going to have to pass today, i'm going into work and get off at 9:30 sorry
Me: No worries, if your schedule clears later let me know. I'm in town until Thursday.
Her: Apparently i'm getting off at 8 and grabbing a drink with a co-worker. (I ignored this message and about 20 minutes later)
Her: nvm, im not getting off early, guess that was a dream thought.

So I ignored her for the rest of the night and essentially just blew it off, figured i'd give a follow up Thursday and try one last time. THEN THIS HAPPENS TODAY

Her: Hey
Me: Hey, What's up?
Her: Nothing much, just shopping for lingerie (wtf? lol thought she was this ultimate prude)
Me: I hate shopping for lingerie, I can never find anything that fits
Her: haha the struggle is real ;) Tell me about it btw
Me: The hardest part is trying to find a -A cup bra, I mean I got a banging booty but lack in the booby department
(A few hours go by)
Her: hahahahaha I can make up for it on your behalf, sorry I'm taking so long i'm at work
(Then I just didn't respond all night)

So this basically brings you up to speed, and although I have my confidence back i'm still rusty on my game. I still have a few days before I head out of town and wouldn't mind closing this deal but is it even possible?

What really throws me off is the shit tests, I think I handled them well but i'm not sure how to proceed from here. Should I as her to go out tomorrow night or friday? Should I just forget it?|

Thanks guys!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 10:27 am 
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I find it odd, that she has time to grab a drink with a co-worker but not you?

If I we're you i'd make myself less available. Next time you tell her; "I have a few hours free on [insert day]. Let's meet up at [place] around [time] and go for a walk"

If she rejects, then all you gotta do is say; "Alright."

From this point on, she needs to do a little work to get YOU. You've given her enough chances as it is, and if you just keep doing it, she will friendzone you and/or keep you as mental backup (If i can't screw my co-worker, I always get some affirmation from 'Iveseenworse' ).

Additionally I like the way you handled the conversation - You showed confidence, imo, and thats great!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:52 am 
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THIS GIRL WANTS FUCKED ! she wants fucked but she wants it to 'just happen' She has dropped all the signs needed to invite her over to yours for dinner.

Personally i would say next time she tries to arrange or whatever 'look i cant really be bothered going out but you can come over and watch a movie or whatever. But no funny business not until the 7th date remember'

She will take the bait :) ! Shes not the prude you think she is ! She brought up sex before you did even when use were just going to a bar ! She then talks about her lingerie ! Go for it nothing to lose shes already flakey as shit.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:13 pm 
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Totally agreed with Wildcard and Stenic.
Quote:
Her: Nothing much, just shopping for lingerie
She is IOIing the shit out of you with this text. She's talking about sex and lingerie, it's on as long as you handle it like these guys are saying, very laid back with an idgaf attitude.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:44 pm 
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Quote:
I find it odd, that she has time to grab a drink with a co-worker but not you?
Additionally I like the way you handled the conversation - You showed confidence, imo, and thats great!
I know, I started laughing as soon as that text came through. I was like wow you're pretty bad at this huh? :P
But thanks wildcard, I tried my best to hold down that IDGAF and confident demeanour.
Quote:
THIS GIRL WANTS FUCKED ! she wants fucked but she wants it to 'just happen' She has dropped all the signs needed to invite her over to yours for dinner.
Go for it nothing to lose shes already flakey as shit.
THIS!

The only thing thats really holding me back is this girl is absolutely amazing (looks wise) and it would be the ultimate trophy close (especially for someone as rusty as myself) but again, i'll try again for tonight and if its a no-go then I'm moving on. I guess I handled it the best I could haha
Quote:
She is IOIing the shit out of you with this text. She's talking about sex and lingerie, it's on as long as you handle it like these guys are saying, very laid back with an idgaf attitude.
Thanks ocean, i'm moving on this tonight!


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