Hey guys,

I have been lately observing 2 of my friends and how they behave in their relationships, and I have been thinking a lot about girls addicted to their men and whether this is a desirable outcome.

The 2 examples (especially the 2nd one) are rather long for illustrative purposes. You can skip them and go straight down to my questions.

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Case 1) The first friend is a 30 yo guy who has been dating for more or less 3 years the same girl. He is a notorious cheater and has been getting some on the side. He is constantly chasing new girls. My guess is that it's something deeply ingrained in his personality and he has this "predator" instinct.

Anyway, at some point he implied that his gf must have been suspecting something but she was still letting him do his thing. He was then bragging about how docile and submissive she was and how she had "adapted herself to his reality". Almost all her life revolves around him and he basically has a "homey" girl waiting for him no matter what happens.

If I have to make an "objective" assessment of the girl's overall attractiveness, I would say she is a 6 (ok figure, but she seems to have some severe acne problems despite being in her late-20s; she is not too feminine either but she is very kinky according to my friend).

I do not know if she has self-esteem issues or not (I have met her several times and she seemed ok) and if she is indeed his "loyal doggie" as he implied, but she seems to be genuinely in love with him. I also do not know for what reason she is so much into him (he is not a stud either) but my friend claims that being good in bed is the best way to get a woman addicted to you. She will still desire no matter what happens and will put with any shit you throw at her.

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Case 2) My second friend is a 30 yo Russian woman who happens to also be my co-worker. We confide to each other, so I know quite a lot about her. I would describe her a traditional "homey" type of girl. She has tremendous success with men who flock to her feet. She is trying to look and act cool, but she has some serious self-esteem issues. She was in a miserable relationship for 2.5 years (God knows why she wasn't leaving him) and was desperate to find a new guy. I was trying to help her a bit and was taking her with me to parties and meetups.

She eventually met this muslim guy and jumped head on in a relationship. She kinda waited 1-2 weeks before officially breaking up with her ex (they were not living together anymore at that point). What stroke me as strange however is how fast everything happened. She basically jumped from one relationship to another. After the 1st week, she has been sleeping every single day at her new bf's place. The only time they were separate was during office hours.

I never liked the guy in the first place and was advising her to run away. The guy lied about many things (his parents' job, his nationality, claimed his mother was a christian, he also claimed he was not very religious, etc.). She forgave him because she lied about her age and about her ex. Then, he did some things that looked rather creepy: he tried to get her drunk in order to sleep with her (but you cannot outdrink a Russian, bad move) and tried to force his way (she left his house then). At the beginning of the relationship, he was also laying around condoms all over the place to make her understand he wanted some (she claims they did not have sex until the first month passed).

I guess she was so desperate to find a bf that she enjoyed the attention and disregarded all the rest. She then slowly started getting obsessed with this new relationship of hers. She would cry because he didn't write back to her for 24h, because he didn't call her, because he's playing games, etc.

Five months forward, she doesn't eat pork or drink alcohol anymore. She had started reading the Qur'an and is about to start learning arabic. She doesn't admit it but I am persuaded that she is completely changing herself to please her new boyfriend. They even have had the "talk". Their kids will be muslim, have muslim names and will only speak arabic at home. He even encouraged her to also become a muslim or there might be a problem with his parents.

Long story short, she has incurred a lot of stress because she is trying to make this relationship work while there are a lot of cultural differences. She has lost a lot of weight, doesn't sleep anymore and cries a lot (really a lot) from all the stress. Her own place is still a mess with unopened moving boxes and she hasn't done basic things like installing a phone line/internet connection.

She keeps complaining and crying about petty things and making herself miserable. She is sad that she has to step down on a number of issues (he is jealous and also the type of guy who wants to have things done his own way). Having lived in arabic countries, I know the culture of these people and have tried to warn her. She doesn't listen to me and stubbornly tries to prove me that her relationship is going to work. She replies that she is willing to make the sacrifice to make the relationship work because they "get along so well" and that simple cultural differences do not matter.

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So we have 2 different situations, where the girl is almost a slave to the guy. They are madly in love with him and will not contest anything he says. My questions are as follows:


1) Is it normal for a girl to be so much addicted to their boyfriend? Have you done that with all the women you have dated? How can one possibly make a woman addicted to him? Is sexual/emotional gratification the key to submitting her?

2) Is this a good model for a healthy relationship? Can such relationships work in the long run? Even though such a situation is very benefitial for the guy, I am wondering if this is a desirable outcome. I like girls having some personality instead of being carpets.


Some thoughts:

I was reading blogs the other day and found this particular page:


http://krauserpua.com/2012/05/20/dont-t ... -blowjobs/


Everything this guy says is true about the 2 girls I mentioned above.
This is extremely fascinating and scary how much a guy can have control over a girl.

Now, with that information in mind, I am wondering if this is how things should be.
From an alpha male's point of view, the answer is yes. The theory behind alpha-mindness is that men should dominate the relationship. Any attempt at putting in place some parity will sign the doom of the relationship as the woman will progressively lose respect for the guy (I have see that happen to some couples).

My ex did tick all the boxes mentioned in the above blog. She definitely was into me and was compliant, but she still had her own personality and personal life. It was a long-distance relationship, so I eventually started losing control over her and we then broke apart. Maybe if I had kept her "in my reality", she wouldn't have even thought of breaking up?

Is Krauser PUA right in saying that you need to get a girl addicted to you?

Any input you may have is welcome!
Cheers