Below are highlights of an interaction I've been having with a girl at work. I just got out of a long term relationship FYSA. Was heavy into DavidD with great success before but I might be a little rusty. Feedback solicited.

Sent her joking email (Company/work email). An hour later she starts coming by to talk to me two days in a row (then the weekend came).

-First time she was extremely nervous the first few minutes, arms and legs held tight to her chest at first after sitting in chair in my office (talks to me a min first, then sits down), then started to unravel as she got more comfortable, going out of her way to turn her body toward me after  I mentioned that I read other peoples body language a couple times. Was starting cocky funny on her. She brings up shes considered moving out of state since there there is nothing (as in no one here for her here). Recently divorced...reacts positively when my body language indicates I get the hint....

-See each other in the hallway nextday, and she is holding eye contact the entire time I am standing there as she walks by (as am I) and we both smile at each other and she even makes her eyes big in a playful way as if to let me know she sees me holding eye contact..

-Second time, also next day, stops by my desk again, less nervous, but still shaking hands and jaw. we flirt again, I turn up the cocky/funny. Sits in chair after first minute or so. She is laughing at all my jokes hard. Tells me she is back to her old office other building Monday....

-Monday she walks by my desk to get a couple binders out of her temporary office to take back to her original office. She had actually told me Friday she was going to be back at her old desk on Monday. Could be  coincidence, but I think it was letting me know where I could find her Monday.

-So Monday I stop by her office and ask her if she's busy, she says of course I'm busy why, I said let's go for a walk, so she says I always have time for YOU (with the inflection). I was like, oh, is that so.

-We go for a walk, and I'm laying the cocky funny on THICK and she is eating it up.

-An hour or so after the walk, she walks by my desk and makes eyes contact with a smile and when I look at her she raises her eyebrows and then drops them (as if saying hey...). I'm thinking, she liked the earlier interaction....







-How's my interaction so far?

-Level of interest?

-Where to next? I'm leaning toward two steps forward, one step back (skipping major interaction or any interaction initiated by me for day or two, then going back in for email, number or outing, especially if the line goes slack.

---------Edited to add:

Well, nevermind I guess, crashed and burned. Invited her out for another walk today and she declined. Yikes. Gonna be awkward for a while now. She seemed interested, and might still be, but I don't know. Lesson learned. Personally I wonder if she is either playing hard to get (all the signs after the walk were positive) or this was her way of getting power back since I had not made a move a long time ago when she had shown interest. She seems like the type. First time in a looong time I tried to flirt with someone at work. Usually not an issue. What gets me is the strong signs of interest and now sooo cold. She was like no I'm good thanks. Ouch. Either she is playing hard to get or the cocky funny was too strong.

----------Edited to add:

Crap, I noticed one of the girls in the office whom I don't even like had waved at me when she walked by today. She actually stopped and turned to me and waved. Shes attractive but I have no interest. Of course the girl I am interested in doesn't know that. But guess who was walking just 10 yards behind her. Yep, I wonder if she thought I was a player. I know her ex husband was cheating on her, so she is sensitive to that more than likely. Yikes. Could be a total misunderstanding. I had wondered what she thought of that. I didn't even wave back. Crap. What a misunderstanding if this is what happened to turn her off.

With all of the women out there not sure why you would want to shit where you eat considering the issues that can arise from doing so.

But yeah the interaction is great, the level of interest seems very high. You don't need her # or email since you see her often. Tell her "lets grab a drink some night next week what's ur schedule like"

I know, I know, I usually don't, and avoided engaging her first few months or so here. She just keeps pulling me in though and I'm like, what the heck, try it.

Any thoughts on the two steps foward, one step back approach to 1) not be needy 2) create doubt (but not letting the line go slack? I think it's best to move foward a bit then play it cool so as to create more interest while not being like every other guy.

Well, nevermind I guess, crashed and burned. Invited her out for another walk today and she declined. Yikes. Gonna be awkward for a while now. She seemed interested, and might still be, but I don't know. Lesson learned. Personally I wonder if she is either playing hard to get (slight chance) or this was her way of getting power back since I had not made a move a long time ago when she had shown interest. She seems like the type. First time in a looong time I tried to flirt with someone at work. Usually not an issue. What gets me is the strong signs of interest and now sooo cold. She was like no I'm good thanks. Ouch. Either sge is playing hard to get or the cocky funny was too strong.

Not dipping your pen in the company ink is for the best in the long term anyway. No drama, no awkwardness if it doesn't work out etc. etc. etc.

Agreed. In the past I did this but eventually decided it was best to keep work and dating seperate, so that if one isn't woeking out, I could throw myself into the other for a while.

I still can't help but wonder of that other girls flirty wave was why she suddenly went from so hot to so cold. I mean she looked me in the eyes and was like no I'm good thanks like she hated my guts. There was some pain in her eyes. Aftee showing so much interest until that girl waved at me? Sadly, if I try to talk to her about it she could file a complaint out of spite. I will never know for sure if thats what it was.

Could very well have been the wave. It's probably for the best anyway.

I'm starting to think she is just playing hard to get/hot&cold.

Yesterday she walked by my desk and she used her right hand to fiddle with her left ear (as she turned her head to the right so she could see me) and was checking me out with a slight smile on her face that eventually turned into what I would almost describe as an "assessing for effect" look"

Earlier same day she had also walked by while I was in my buddies office and as she walked by she heard me laugh and I guess she must have realized I was there in his office, looked right at me then and kept looking while she was walking, because I felt like someone was watching me so I turn and look and she turns away with a slight smile and blush when I caught her but before I could make eye contact.

I know the girl should be off limits since we work together, but I'm more curious as to your take on if she is really interested, just using me to make herself feel like she still has it, or is trying to increase my attraction by playing hard to get now, or if I just said or did something to muck it up. I don't think I mucked it up in that, the smile and eyebrow raise an hour after the walk was a flirty "game on/I like this" interaction and she only turned cold the next day when I went to have her walk with me (when I intended to ask her out). Between the positive signs after the walk, and the sudden 180 degree turn for no apparent reason, and the looks since then, I think she is running game on ME now by playing hard to get.

At this point, I only care for educational purposes. I might also take this other girl for a walk (flirts with me hard and already agreed to) and make sure the other girl sees it. This should tell me 1) is she still likes me judging by her response (is she jealous) 2) create competition and get her to come to me since her game puts me at risk of being lost to another girl. Hey, it worked great in other situations, two birds, one stone...

I swear women are experts at moves like this (i.e. playing with their hair while turning to have a hard look, lol).
She could be gaming you, she could have been upset about the wave initially and then decided to go for you anyway, or possibly the day she refused the walk she may have been having an off day.
Game on.

I know right! So you agree she does still seem to be interested. IMO it was definitely a planned move she thought out in advance to "inconspicuously" check to see what effect she was having on me. She has never done that when walking by before. And when I consider the IOI's (asking me how old I am repeatedly, asking me how old I think SHE is, etc.) that led up to all of this, I think she is just running game on me and it is working, I mean she's got me thinking about her all the time now.

Game on for sure! Think it would be too much to walk with this other girl out the door that's right by the desk of the girl I'm interested in? Its the only way to be absolutely sure she sees it and assess for effect. Otherwise I could try to laugh really hard when walking by the window with this girl in the hopes that she looks. Problem with that is I wont know if she was there or saw us, and I cant assess for effect.

I know when she saw me flirting with the girl at the café a long time ago she said something to me about it; "you've been flirting with Mary" as in, she was hurt that I was flirting with another girl instead of her. I just told her I don't flirt with Mary, she flirts with me. She laughed and said she liked that. It was obvious she was jealous though.

I know she was into me then, but now I am trying to find out if she still is by seeing if she still gets jealous. The one thing I know for sure is that while trying to talk to her again/inviting her for another walk will show I'm confident/interested/passing her "hard to get test" it also exposes me to potential trouble. As such I'm going to give her a reason to come to ME.

Heck, pulling back might actually be THE way to pass the test, in that I'm not needy, or going to chase her. I'm going to make it look as if I've moved on and act indifferent.

Yeah dude it's fun and all well and good but shit there are so many women in the world, money over bitches, if it were me I'd just keep it in my pants and forget the office flirtgames, too much potential for issues to pop up. What's that 'hell hath no fury' quote. Play these games with women you've met on the street. You'll still have the work girls flirting hard (harder than ever probably), but by not personally mixing in with it all you're keeping a good distance. Not trying to be a debbidowner, it's just my 2 cents.

Agreed, I'm not going to sleep with her, I'm just trying to see if she is still into me and how to BEST counter this type of situation reliably. Using jealousy worked in the past, and I think if it works in this situation, it will become my default response. Besides, I'm starting a new job soon anyways. Just gotta keep the interest alive long enough to where we can go out once we don't work together anymore.

Also, it's hard to turn it off, I'm so used to flirting that when a girl expresses interest at work I can hold off for a long time, but eventually she will wear me down. In any case, the walk with another girl will tell me hat I want to know (If she is still interested and playing hard to get); walking by her desk may be too obvious since she sits in an isolated area near the door, so I'll think of something else.