TLDR: I blacked out and somehow pissed her off and now she doesn't even want to be friends...

So an ex-hookup of mine and now a good friend wanted to introduce me to her friend whos super hot but a good girl. We watch a football game at a bar and me and her hit it off. We hold hands when we were talking and exchanged info. Her birthday was the following wed and we texted back and forth all day so definitely going well. The next day I'm like hey what are you doing afterwork and she invites me to happy hour with her coworkers which also goes really well.

Well Saturday is her birthday party and she invites me out. I purposely show up solo and late and shes excited to see me already buzzing a bit. We spend the whole night just us two dancing with her friends on another part of the dancefloor. I decided to not make a move directly but we were holding hands and grinding all night. Problem is I kept drinking and got too drunk and douchbaggy....

We go to her friend's place to hang out after but I blacked out and somehow said something that really pissed her off and she asked me to leave. Next dayI leave a voicemail apologizing the next day. It wasn't very good and definitely an AFE moment.

Two days later she texts: Hey. I don't think we can be friends. Our personalities don't match.

The friend who introduced us says its probably cause she doesn't get drunk like that.

I'm thinking don't reply and freeze out for 2 weeks to let this shit pass. But how should I follow up? I don't like blacking out and that person is not me. Thats a separate problem I am going to work on on the side. But somehow I want her to realize I'm not that drunk douchbag... Should I straight up be like hey thats not normally me and I want her to see the real me that she hung out with before or go in another direction?

You probably won't get this one back.

The "Drunken Douchebag" staple move is a fan-favorite of women everywhere as an excuse to break up or stop seeing someone.

It shows them what you're like - deep down. Even if you say that's not you... take away the inhibitions, and a lot of co-ordination, and that's what you're left with.

Hell, I generally won't even get into a relationship with a girl until she's been falling-over drunk at least once and I can make sure she's not a closet nazi or a racist or something weirder.

I would say give it a few days - probably not 2 weeks or you'll fall out of her mind completely... Then send something like this:

"I would really like to sincerely apologize for the way I acted the other night. I hardly ever drink and I really went overboard. I think you're a very cool girl and I just want you to know that isn't me... blah blah blah..."

"Stone cold killer? I usually talk out my problems. How about I call you later and see if we can talk this out. "

Its risky, but its something I would say. If she really didn't want to be friends she wouldn't speak to you. She wouldn't text you. Its a test. She's offering a moment of redemption. Don't run. Clashing it head on and show her you're the same boss you were before all the drinks.

Don't let these guys teach you to freeze out and "run" if you know how to handle your emotion - you'll always be able to center on your square with anyone.

Its never really about what you do wrong; its about what you do after. There's always a way to recover. Always.

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Been there, done that... Pick yourself up send her a single message as if nothing happened then go NC. If she comes back she's forgiven you. If not move on. lol

So to update:
Her original text: Hey I don't think we can be friends. Our personalities just don't work.

I texted her:
Alright fair enough. But I would like to know what I did (i dont remember much after Raven) so I can apologize for it.

Her reply:
You said an inappropriate comment to me at the bar about how I was too heavy. then you came to my friends house and basically told me I wasnt an adult because I haven't moved out of my house.
I don't like comments like that. And its a personal choice on what I do. None of your business. That's all.


So at this point I'm like damn thats all I did. Also for reference shes super skinny like an 8/9 level so shes not fat at all. And to ask me to leave cause I joked shes not an adult cause she lives at home seems retarded to me (shes 29).

My reply:
Wow you're right our personalities don't work.
Just so you know I was only teasing. I think you're attractive and didn't think a little joke would bother you. You're right its none of my business but there was no seriousness meant.
I'm sorry I got that drunk. I don't like doing that. I'm also sorry that I upset you, I did not intend to.

So wait and see if she responds. If she doesn't o well, she can't handle a little bit of joking. I went with the approach of hey you misunderstood me my bad thats not what I was trying to say.


At this point its a freeze out if I don't hear back.