Hey guys.
So I ran into a real big problem lately. I just got together with my girlfriend (one month ago actually) and we kept it real slow with having sex. Anyways the past few weeks we wanted to have sex but every time it gets serious (so basically when im supposed to "put it in") the erection goes away and I cant get it back. So basically we´re both horny as fuck but it doesnt happen.
But every time we start making out and start touching and undressing its all good. The erection is there all the time up to the point where im supposed to put it in... Its really frustrating and to be honest it scares me. I think at this point its really important to mention that it is going to be my first time. Its my first girlfriend ever and my first sex. I think it might be something happening in my head rather than an actual problem with my little friend down there... Any tips that could help? Im literally thinking about using some sort of potency pill just to keep up the erection.

How old are you?

You don't need that little pill if you're young and in decent health, I'm sure.

Totally in your head. It's stage fright.

Try and get out of your head and just relax and enjoy what's going on. Don't worry about what's happening. The more you think about it the worse it'll be.

Im 22. And I think that its all in my head too...But im a little afraid because it happened like 3 times now. But again the whole time before the actual sex its all good. Im hard all the time, she plays with my dick, we make out, we undress and get naked...and then its over...Hope it gets better. Next time I will be at her place on friday.

Do you watch a lot of porn -? If so, how long have you been using it to get off ? Not saying it might be a cause and based on your age it is probably stage fright. I did have problems when I used porn to get off like 2 times a day. Something happens in your brain (at least I think so) that associates sitting in front of a pc looking at porn as a turn on as opposed to being with the opposite sex. Kind of like your brain doesn't associate real sex with having an orgasm and the D goes south. I might be a minority here to think this way but, that's an issue I had in the past...

Well I wouldnt say "a lot" usually 2-3 times a week. Im not like a porn freak or something... I mean like I said before I do get a boner when we get intimate and it lasts quite some time but every time its about to happen its over... Sometimes it takes like 15-30 minutes and it comes back but by that time SHE isnt that horny anymore...which is understandable after trying it like 3 times already...

Still having this big problem! I really dont know what to do. I just cant keep the erection for very long. It usually lasts throughout the whole making out and petting phase but by the time we´re naked it starts going away and Im just frustrated as fuck! And obviously SHE is too...

Go see the doctor, dude.

I'm sure it's in your head - but maybe best to rule out something physical?

Stop watching porn.

Is it when you go to put the condom on?

Id go to the doctor and get your testosterone level checked. If it were me.

I used to have a problem where I was hard as a rock any time I was kissing a girl, fondling her, if she were pleasuring me but as soon as I go to put the condom on I'd get slightly soft. It's something about it that my dick didn't like. So now I work with it and suck on her tits or make out with her while I put the condom on. Something to where I'm not entirely focused on it. Then a quick inspection and go to town.

Many people will have different answers for a question like this. The major reason being that this is a difficult question to answer without a look at a detailed medical history, a psychological evaluation, or both. For most people, as I have also have this problem every once in a while, it is a psychological thing. Alex Allman's Revolutionary Sex is a good source to go to if you want to know more about this problem or how to remedy it, but to give you a couple suggestions...I'd say: stop stressing about sex, if you're worried about not lasting long enough, this will prevent you from maintaining an erection or getting one. You might also want to cut back on watching porn desensitizes you from the real world, preventing yourself from being turned on by the idea of sex, or from approaching women.

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Yeah... I agree with the other guys in here. First off, go see a doc. There is so many possibilities here, you need to be closing doors for sure or else you will go crazy not knowing what exactly is causing your problem. Then again, if you can get it up while making out with her and while masturbating, I really don't think you have any physical problems.

Other than that, and looking at your age, there is three likely problems I could think of

1. Porn. Porn fucks your brain up for good. If you want more infos about that subject
yourbrainonporn.com
yourbrainrebalanced.com
is where you want to look at. Although your porn usage doesn't sound excessive.

2. Dominance. AKA performance anxiety. But not anxiety as in like "shit, I won't get it up" but more as in "shit, I need to perform". Ironic as it sounds, think of that girl as a simple fuckhole for you. Treat her roughly. I know it sounds a bit assholish, but don't even be willing to do too much for her. Just see her as a nice fuckhole to pleasure YOU. Just go for your pleasure and, ironically, she will get off to that as well. So it will all be good.
Also, if you watch porn (not too much, look at point 1), only watch porn where the male is extremely dominant etc. That will get you in the zone.
(My guess is that it is that)

3. Booze. Don't overdo it.

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Dude.. I had the same problem when i was a bit younger than u. It didn't begin happening until I was about to score with this hot ass chick that lived next door to me.

Its purely mentally; and you'll get through. You just have to learn to make light of the situation. Laugh it off when it happens. The emotions that you are currently attributing to it aren't exactly going to relieve the situation. You don't have to see a doctor because you're dick is still getting hard.

Now if it wasn't getting hard at all that calls for a doctor visit. PM me.. I can talk you through it. NO charge or anything. I've just been there and I know how it is.

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[/quote]
Is it when you go to put the condom on?

Id go to the doctor and get your testosterone level checked. If it were me.

I used to have a problem where I was hard as a rock any time I was kissing a girl, fondling her, if she were pleasuring me but as soon as I go to put the condom on I'd get slightly soft. It's something about it that my dick didn't like. So now I work with it and suck on her tits or make out with her while I put the condom on. Something to where I'm not entirely focused on it. Then a quick inspection and go to town.[/quote]


I have the same problem when it comes to condoms. It may be that I've been in an LTR for the past ten years, so no need for condoms, but we do have a lot of threesomes. As soon as I hear the word 'condom', it just goes flat. Maybe I just need some more practice. I did go to the doctor a while back and tell him that I was really stressed and occasionally had problems getting up. I asked if he had any samples that I could try and he came back with a bag full of dick pills. Half a once daily 20mg Cialis is one of the best party drugs I have ever found. It lasts 3 days, but only works when you need it to. Its not that I need them, but damn it makes it fun!

I actually have a similar issue. Basically you're getting stressed out when you go to have sex, then because that happened you're just sitting there stressed out about it and focusing on why you can't get it up, right? Then you start trying to will it up, and putting pressure on yourself... then you give up and try again the next day, but the memory of the last time is still there so you're even more worried.

A sex therapist may be able to help you, and one has recommended cialis to me. Had already tried viagara and levitra and they don't work for this kind of issue. They fix the physical side of things, which you don't need... this is entirely in your head.

But before you start trying to medicate this, here are some things that have helped me:

- Give the condom to your girl, and have her put it on you when you're both ready. You can keep doing whatever foreplay, and concentrate on enjoying the sensations so you're less likely to lose your erection.

- In fact, if you two are exclusive and STI free just skip the condom altogether and use other birth control (like the pill.)

- Just try to keep out of your head, thinking about it almost guarantees it will happen again.

- If you don't make it, just cuddle together naked for a while. Forget about sex, just chat or nap or whatever. You'll eventually go back to being relaxed and the erection will pop back up. If your gf is anything like my ex, she'll still be ready and waiting. (Would still suggest she keeps a new condom handy and puts it on you.)

- Try first thing in the morning. Testosterone levels are naturally higher in the morning... that's how I lost my virginity actually.

That's basically the stuff that works for me. Most importantly, though, relax and just let things happen. Trying to force it and putting pressure on yourself just makes things worse.

It's just nerves man. Have you tried having a bottle of wine between you both before fucking? That should calm the nerves just don't get so drunk you're playing with a rope. After the first few times of fucking you'll calm down and fuck her no problem without needing to drink. It's down to more experience... Get more and you'll stop having this problem but wine is a sure way to fix it temporarily.

Wine pretty much keeps you both horny and doesn't impact your erection.