the reason i decided to write about this is really because the first trailer of fifty shades was released this week, and i decided to think about why the book was successful, why the film will most likely be successful but most importantly how this can work for us. i know guys in the community have said read womens magazines but i think if you really wanna know what gets them off and into bed read erotic fiction, i know what a guy will be thinking 'im not reading that shit' but then think about this: 50 shades sold more copies then all of the harry potter books combined. and not only fiction like 50 shades but non fiction like nancy fridays 'my secret garden' to explain my secret garden was written because the author wanted to know about secret fantasies that women have from the typical vanilla sex to bdsm and rape fantasies, the actual fantasy is not as important as the why, why do women want to be dominated why do they want to be controlled. and its not only books as well theres film as well like 9 1/2 weeks which is sort of a precursor to 50 shades it starts off with quite vanilla sex to food then to tying up to sex outdoors to other boundaries, its basically about limits of what someone can take.
i think good films to watch would be:
9 1/2 weeks
unfaithful
sliver
basic instinct.

bookwise the obvious is 50 shades however another good book is the juliette society by sasha grey (the porn star) its basically about a womans introduction to an underground sex club,

the good thing about all of these is that they are written by women

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

I've already said, Valentine's Day I'm standing outside the movie theater with an assortment of handcuffs and a box of condoms

I agree with the OP - My Secret Garden is a must read for knowing the perversions of the female mind and how it works.

Brothers I hate to break it to you the BDSM community abhors us with a passion.

Here's a little taste.
I posted this on a BDSM forum

"
I believe the next level of game may well be to incorporate D/s techniques into game. My expertise is geared more towards pick up. But I do know that BDSM is a means to explore oneself (sexuality, sensation, psyche, spirituality, etc) for many of us it can be pretty damn boring exploring it by itself. Unfortunately it can be hard out there for a kinkster without social skills. Game was developed primarily for men to learn how to attract, charm, seduce the-opposite sex-but has grown into so much more such as personal development and understanding of social-dynamics. Unfortunately much of the focus is on the “Vanilla's” and the materials that deal with kink do not exist- yet.

I have always had a certain respect for the D/s lifestyle as never before it had a developed such a strong pair bond with a woman before having a sub.

For those that have paid your dues. You have learned and practiced all of your skills, gone to all the kink classes to expand your knowledge, gone online so that you are at the cutting edge of your kink. You’re an-innovator in the community. Maybe you have done classes on some specific subcategory of your primary-fetish. You’re known throughout your local community. That is great and all but now how do you tell that cute little red headed submissive that you really, really want to do something bad to her.

HFF

Heres a taste on some of the responses
Game? Barf.

"Really? Seriously? Gross.
One of the things I like about most kinky people is their honesty, self awareness and ability to communicate their needs and wants very well. So yuck on the concept of applying Game to relationships that by their nature require honesty to work.
If a dominant needs a script to work from, they aren't focusing on their partner, they are focusing on the script. If a Dominant lacks confidence, I think they'd do much better to focus on self-improvement rather than memorizing a bunch of scripts to compensate for their lack of social skills.
If you have to manipulate people to get them to do what you want, you're not a Dominant. You're a passive-aggressive asshat."

"The rule of thumb is that if you aren't capable of talking about sex with someone, then you shouldn't be having it. Which doesn't mean you have to feel easy with it. There's nothing wrong and a lot right in saying "this is a little awkward, but I want you to know that I'm into BDSM, especially pain play. I like you a lot and really want to move this relationship forward but we need to know if we're compatible." That addresses you being uncomfortable, it gives her the info she needs to decide if she's interested or if you're a bad fit. But you also need to accept being rejected without taking it personally.

However, it isn't something that you do cold to a person at the other end of the bar. Because it's highly unlikely that she wants any kind of sex, vanilla or kinky, with a stranger."

If you're after a specialist item, you go to a specialist shop.
If you're after a specific type of girl, visit their specialist clubs.

Its not dependant, but there is a high correlation with alternative chicks being into more kinkier practices.

I used to regularly frequent an alternative night club. They cater to all forms of music not played in 'vanilla' clubs, genres such as dub, rock, screamo, hardcore, metal etc etc.
I'm not massively into BDSM but a few of the girls i've met in there were getting pretty kinky with me.

They had a sort of stage area for when they had live bands on, but the other days a dancing pole was in the middle. You had girls pole dancing for fun (I'm actually pretty good myself ;D) and prancing around in bras and hotpants.
Lesbians, bisexuals and a few gay men hanging out everywhere.
Themed fancy dress nights, Underwear night was a personal fave

I must go back soon. With new skills in tow.

Thanks for the the information. But my point was that why do those in the kink scene hate and judge PUAs so harshly.

The thing I want to know is how to run game specifically in the BDSM/kink scene.
How would you modify your technique/approach to pull chicks.

My usual game has been hit or miss and I see guys that have absolutely no game and pull beautiful chicks.
I mean there was one guy that opened with "I want to fuck you silly" and that worked.

Ive been using much more of the direct approach, but there I'm missing something as I'm still falling a little short.
I virtually never use AMOG anymore, but fuck some guys just ask for it. AMOG has been going very well for blowing AMOG's out of sets but I can't seem to latch on with the ladies as much as I wanted to.

BDSM is such an umbrella term. I wouldn't think you could say that the "BDSM scene hates PUAs"

One of my friends is into BDSM. Im the keyholder for his chastity belt. (I don't agree with or understand his decision but he is my friend and it his life and have thus accepted it.) He and I have had some drunken chats about BDSM.

BDSM is a compound acronym for the three main sub-disciplines.
BD for Bondage and Discipline
DS for Domination and Submission
SM for Sadism and Masochism

The only people I could see having an issue is the Dominators or 'Tops'. They derive pleasure from power. We could be perceived as a threat to that power because of our "specially learned skills and tricks for attracting women". Simply, people fear what they don't understand.


On the issue of running specific game. There really is no answer. Are you after a Sub? or looking for a girl who likes handcuffs? or who will scratch your back till you bleed?

On the issue of your current problems.
The guy who opened with "I want to fuck you silly" obviously has got some game. If he can create attraction (even after a risqué opener), create rapport and escalate, he has pulled. It's probably a very low yield opener but maybe he just found the right chick.

Personally I don't find AMOG in the sense you mean useful. If you're trying to belittle the guy things can escalate and sometime even physically aggressive. I find girls are much more receptive if you take control of the conversation, introduce yourself and then basically ignore him.

I #closed a girl the other day and before I had even saved it, I was lying on the floor. Some wanktard pushed me over because he had been hitting on this girl all night unsuccessfully and within 10 minutes of seeing her I had her number. I casually stood up, walked around the 4 people attempting to stand between us, held out my hand and said "Hi i'm "Ardour" I don't think we've been introduced" He then walked of muttering shit under his breath and she explained he had been creeping on her all night.

Depends. I think %95 of PUA material is bullshit. And I think about %90 of the PUA community are socially awkward losers at best, and asperger creepers at worst.

This is really the only decent PUA forum I've ever seen. Most of them are overflowing with retards. So I basically agree with the poor opinion of PUA as a whole. Most of them are weird, creepy guys.

I think of it as being similar to generalizations about Georgia. The majority of people here, are really backwards, uneducated/rednecks. It doesn't mean everyone is. But it's true more often than not. I don't hold Georgia as a whole in high regard. But the college towns are fine.

It's about where you are in the broader community. Most of PUA is weird and creepy. We happen to be in the nice part of the community.

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RSDTyler