I was having a blast back in the summer of 2012 in my game, meeting all kinds of girls from all walks of life and having a blast.

I met this one in particular and after a summer of having 5 "regular" simultaneous "girlfriends (fwbs)" I slowly removed myself from all but one of these and turned that into a serious relationship. In fact, I almost ended up marrying the girl — until I found out that she was pregnant with my child, cheating on me while pregnant, got an abortion and lied about it when I was on a camping trip with no cell reception saying "I had a miscarriage last weekend and YOU weren't there for me in MY TIME OF NEED!" This was followed by her treating my son like total shit, breaking up, and then watching her relationship status change back to "In a Relationship" a week later with some new dumb ass sap.

Needless to go any further on that back-story. 2013 was a HORRIBLE year. I found the best paying job I've ever had in my life right before the end of 2012, but it was the WORST job I've ever had in my life. The stress from that relationship and job combined helped me gain over 60lbs in a year's time. My self esteem was COMPLETELY in the toilet. When I was dumped by this girl (no big loss really as evidenced above, and I didn't find out about the cheating and lying about the abortion part until after) I was fired from that job 3 days later.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS!!!

Fast forward several months later. My confidence is very high again. I am doing the things I love that I had abandoned during that toxic relationship and job, I've lost over 40lbs of the 60 I gained and fit into all of my favorite clothes again. Women I am friends with tell me they see a HUGE change for the better after removing those toxic things from my life. I found a job RIGHT AWAY that has turned out to be one of the BEST jobs I've ever had in my life.

LIFE HAS BECOME PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME since that horrible week.

However, after being out of the game for over a year and a half I've really noticed some things…

My online game has always been very strong as I am a good storyteller and have a very sharp wit when it comes to knowing what to say, especially when I have a minute to think about it. My life is very busy and I have all but stopped going to clubs and bars (and really have no plans on doing so as a regular thing, I just do not enjoy it much anymore).

The main thing I have noticed about the online game is that the rate at which women flake has increased well over 1,000% (probably exaggerating a bit).

My tactics and everything have been getting me a TON of dates regardless but I am batting almost ZERO in getting second dates with these women, even ones I've come close to sleeping with on the first date. I've been flaked on VERY HARD by women who I would have thought I had "in the bag" at any other point in my life. It has become a pattern enough that I am pretty certain I am giving off some sort of wrong energy when I am meeting these women. I don't FEEL like I am doing anything different though.

Looks are a factor for sure. I have been dating the whole time during this weight loss push I am going through and am having more success with each 10lb block I shed. More make out sessions etc etc.

Don't take this wrong, I've ended up with a couple of fuck buddies out of my efforts, but they were not enjoyable enough for me to keep them around AS fuck buddies and I've reached the point in my life where I don't WANT that kind of a relationship anymore (but hey, who's gonna turn away free pussy) LOL

I'M PRETTY MUCH THROWING IN THE TOWELL ON THE ONLINE THING because...

My night game is solid enough when I am comfortable and have warmed myself up — but I have yet to go clubbing whatsoever since being single. My day game has ALWAYS been my weakness — and the problem is that the options are PLENTIFUL for day game where I work and the surrounding area. There are beautiful women EVERYWHERE when I go outside for lunch, walking around town after work, etc.

I think my time would be better spent capitalizing on this situation than wasting it on endless emails with flaky bitches who aren't as attractive in person as their 10 year old photo spreads are online!

HERE IS WHY MY DAY GAME SUCKS (and where I'd like some advice)

in person — if I am comfortable around someone, or the situation my wit is very sharp. I don't need "routines" to get by because things just pop into my head. If I can get past the awkward "excuse me…" in opening a girl, or opening her with an indirect situational opener I just glide after that point and have just as good a chance as any skilled PUA. However I am pretty rusty with "learned material and tactics" right now. When I used to go night-gaming I would keep a few pre-cooked openers (usually 3) in my head (or using the cheat-sheet method of putting a text file on my phone and pretending I am texting someone when I need a refresher). These would help me get past the first few "blowouts" at which point I've reached a comfort level where I feel natural and the energy goes up, and I no longer really need the canned material.

IN the DAY GAME scenario however, here's what ALWAYS happens…

I see a hot girl, 9/10 fuck… she could even be a 6 and it won't matter. It is not a matter of being SCARED, my nerves don't act up - but my mind completely goes BLANK. And then as SOON as that ship has sailed, within 5 seconds the PERFECT thing to say to that girl will pop right into my head.

So this past weekend I decided I need to grab this bull by the horns and get over this shit once and for all. I made up my mind to start at my own pace and not make myself feel like shit for doing anything WRONG but take note of it, move on, and really focus on what I am doing RIGHT. I made up my mind that THIS WEEK I would FORCE myself to strike up conversations with ANYONE who gave me the opportunity to do so. Any situation where I think of some smart assed thing to say, or can see ANY opening to insert myself into the conversation, I will do it.

What I am trying to accomplish here is getting my mind to work as sharply as it does when I am comfortable so that when that hot babe crosses my path instead of knowing what to say to her 5 seconds after the ship has sailed, I will know RIGHT THEN. Maybe I'll pull out a few "canned" routines, or a "starter pack" to get things moving and warm up. Put myself out of my comfort zone enough that these situations BECOME my comfort zone and I am just used to being outgoing. This has always helped me a GREAT DEAL in the past.

YESTERDAY…

The PERFECT opportunity to swoop in on a 8/9 came my way when I was TOTALLY off guard (even after I said I would seek these opportunities out) fell into my lap and I didn't see it until once again… The ship had sailed.

I stopped at a convenience store to get money out of the SPAM. I had planned on being in-and-out as fast as I can. When my money came out of the SPAM the machine started making this noise like I was at the casino or something (very strange) and this hot girl behind the counter yells over to me "WE HAVE A WINNER!!!! WOOOT WOOT!!!" and starts laughing. I was so taken off guard by the stupid noise the machine made I actually thought I HAD won something! My receipt comes out and I said to her "wow, I won my receipt?" and walked out the door.

THEN as I am getting into my truck I realized about 20 different things I could have said to her since she was already being playful with me, but going back into the store at that point just breathes of desperation LOL (in my opinion). I could have shaken the SPAM and said "I don't see my prize, what did I win? Did I just win a date with you? Are you taking me out to dinner now?" along with a bunch of other possibilities.

The opener was right there, all I had to do was "cash in" LOL.

I recognized it for what it was, just being caught off guard and vowed to not let it happen today.

TODAY…

While in a crowded restaurant that is just COMPLETE CHAOS near the drink fountains and condiment bar, this girl was equally frustrated as I was trying to get to the salsa bar. This time I recognized the opportunity to strike it up with her, and we started joking about how shitty their setup is and how chaotic it is around lunch time, in the restaurant and general area. She mentioned something about just wanting to enjoy her lunch break but it is so hard with all the chaos in the area. However I did NOT recognize that opportunity to say to her "HEY, I know a great quiet little place with some tables for the public right around the corner from here, want to join me?"

..until AFTER I walked out of the restaurant… alone.

I did have it in my head that I needed to get back to work (I was very busy today), and I was already a bit down on myself because I didn't like the shirt I was wearing today, etc.

So, at work, on the train this morning, walking around town I did strike up a lot of conversations with people who I otherwise did not WANT TO speak to just because I have committed myself to doing this all week long (EVERY opportunity to do so I am striving to take).

I felt like today was a better day than yesterday, but short of turning this post into a book…

What are some of the ways YOU GUYS get over that mental block, whatever you want to call it when you go out day-gaming chicks.

What kinds of "routines" or patterns have you established in your head in order to prepare yourself with SOMETHING to fall back onto should your mind turn blank when it's clutch time? If I was as good with my day game as I am with my online game it would save me a SHITLOAD of time, and the whole "You don't look like your photos" shit would be a thing of the past for me.

My goal for this year is to GET THE FUCK OVER my day game block. If I can master the day game, night game is just going to follow (any opportunities I take to partake in night game that is).

I actually almost approached a hot blonde in the public square at lunchtime today just to say "Fuck It" but as I was about to, she walked up to a guy who must have been her boyfriend and put her arm around him, so that actually set me back a notch and got me to think twice before doing it again.

Another scenario last week, a girl was walking down the street wearing a shirt that said "FREE HUGS" LMFAO… I mean COME THE FUCK ON… I didn't even think of what to say to HER until that shit had passed LMFAO… That's how weak my day game has gotten since I was last single and in the game.

Any comments are welcome.

Thanks!

Kudos to you on your backstory. Toxic relationships are almost always a challenge to move past. Sounds like you made some solid commitments to some goals which really helped catapult you forward. Parts of your story mirror what I'd been through the past year and a half, only my ex has a borderline personality (bat-shit crazy in lay person terms). My friends have also remarked about how much healthier I look now, and my energy has been improving slowly but surely.

Lots of things stand out in your post. You are quite determined for change and that by-and-large sets you well ahead of the game. Things WILL happen, it is just a matter of time and being patient and compassionate with yourself along the way. I think what may be happening for you is that you're looking for a witty way to open women and you're hitting stumbling blocks in the creative process of coming up with something. Why not a simple opener "I noticed you from across the way, thought I'd say "hello" my name is Nik" (reach-out to shake hand).

Remember that the approach in itself, the very fact you had the fortitude to do this is attractive. You took initiative, you opened, and you didn't have to rely on any incidental or observational comment to do so. You opened with YOU! That's it. YOU are your opener:D Simple stuff, really.

I offer you this for a few reasons. 1) it unburdens you from feeling this 'SHOULD' ("I should always have a good opener (e.g., witty, intellectual) with women", and 2) it forces you to rely less on material and effort and opens you up to the raw experience of meeting women more - you're being real and even if you feel that lump in your throat most women will appreciate that; hey, women get nervous too probably even more than most guys you know. I'd honestly rather be the nervous guy with the honest approach, than the guy with false confidence with the canned opener. Nervous guy will likely calm after the initial interaction and present a more authentic self - he'll likely also be better calibrated once his nerves cool. The false confident canned opener guy will be a one-trick pony and when the script of the interaction changes he'll have no reference points and not know what to do next; he'll blow himself out 9/10 times.

I think when you saw homegirl on the street and were about to approach your brain was on auto-pilot (FUCK IT I'm doing this!), but the fact you saw the bf and backed up was fine. The take-away here is that 'fuck it' mentality. Have fun with your approaches. Make it YOUR OBJECTIVE to open women, that's it. Nothing beyond that. Write down your objective for each day "Today I will approach 3 women throughout the course of the day". Nothing more, nothing less. My guess is once you've met the objective of opening these 3 women each day your mind will be mossy and you'll be coming up with all sorts of stuff to talk about and lead.

All in all an inspiring story. Keep on with your journey and good things will happen, most definitely.

It has been a crazy (however long) it has been and I've had some dates, banged one girl I've been hanging out with that is just a fun FB now I think. I don't think either of us have any intention of something more than that.

But on the "opening up conversations with everyone" front -- I've actually opened a ton of doors at work, gotten myself into some cool situations, had some cool experiences etc. (way too many to list in fact)...

All because I decided that a goal of mine was to be more proactive in engaging people in conversation even when I am in a "fuck this" kind of mentality where I just want to keep to myself. I am an introvert more than the opposite so that isn't natural to engage everyone as much as I have lately.

However, even when you aren't out "picking up chicks" those things are invaluable. Work got a shit-ton busy and has kinda wiped out my mental state for the time being, but the positive thing to come from that is I have worked my way into a possible promotion and also gained a lot of respect from people at work I really didn't know much before I became more "engaged."

I like your point about not being the guy with the "canned" openers. That's why I "choke" if I will call it that. Because when I am on point the shit just flows naturally. I'm probably one of the biggest smart-asses / opinionated / don't give a fuck kind of guy there is. I think it is the NOT wanting to sound "canned" that keeps me from saying "hi" ... I also work in advertising so the whole focus on presentation and being "catchy" or having to make a "pitch" to sell something... I can see how that kind of pressure gets put on myself to come up with something "good" to say, when the reality is that kind of self-pressure is the reason you DON'T come up with something right away.

The one thing I can say for sure, is that 99% of my best creative ideas for work come when I am doing something COMPLETELY different from work. If you sit down and try and FORCE yourself to be creative, there are processes you can follow that will get you somewhere in a pinch but the best thing to do is walk away from it.

Same thing with pickup science. If you try and FORCE yourself, yeah, there are crutches, scripts, cheat sheets, and all kinds of things to get the ball rolling... BUT... I find that the best interactions with women come unexpectedly when I was caught off guard and not really living in THAT frame of mind, and it was THAT reason that some crazy shit came out of my mouth all naturally and made her laugh. And if you make a girl laugh that is a HUGE plus in your favor.

I've read your post. Sorry about what happened with you and your wife, but that's life. You have to move on, which I'm glad you did, before you get stuck in the same position for years.

The solution to your problem is to stop caring about canned material, routines, steps and games. They surely help because they give you more things to say than a normal person, but approaching a girl is all about naturality and humanism. Introduce yourself as a normal person. What most men never notice is that most, if not all, of them use pick up lines or excuses such as "What time is it?" "Sorry, do you happen to know a place called X in this neighborhood?" in order to open a girl. Men BARELY go up as honest and express their intentions towards women. When was the last time you've seen a guy approaching a girl in a pub with a line like this: "Hey, you look like a fun person to be with". I reckon that you rarely see such openers, because all men use the same excuses in order to approach.

Try the more honest ones, you'll be coming out as a real person. Let's not mention that you won't be needing to analyze scenarios and openers when approaching, thus making you less nervous. If it's one important thing I've learned from PUA, I would say it's the 3-second-rule (3 seconds to approach, anything more than that and you'll start developing and accumulating fear, anxiety and false scenarios in your mind). Follow it and see what happens.

I do like the 3 second rule. I haven't actually put that into practice much lately.

I am having a really bad week in general so my mood is completely destroyed right now. I can't hide my negativity from anyone right now so I am laying low. After some time canoeing and sitting in front of a campfire this weekend, I am sure my attitude will change though.

Why were you going away leaving your pregnant girlfriend home alone? Anyway you are reading far too much into every fucking thing you do. Just because the girl in the shop shouted we have a winner doesn't mean she wants to fuck you, you moron. Why do you assholes on here think that just because a girl talks to you that she wants to go out with you? I mean how fucking up yourselves are you.

Awesome shit just KAIZEN every day broo