Hi, I would just like to ventilate some and hopefully get some good motivational feedback from you guys. I really suggest that you only reply if you have something motivational to say, because I really need nothing else than that.

I am twenty-seven years old now, from a small town in Denmark, and still quite shy around women. I have had a few depressions and when I am in those every social meeting is a challenge, even with friends. Right now I feel okay and I can speak to friends. I can be quite relaxed around girls and strangers when drunk, or sober if I am alone with them.

After my latest depression which "ended" roughly in august last year I met a girl which I started dating... now my ability to perform sexually was not very good. My sexual life has been up and down, sometime's good... other times bad, which means trouble maintaining a boner... and troubles controlling the jizz... reaching climax too fast and so on.

After a while we stopped seeing eachother, I assume it was because the sex wasn't really that good.

The problem is now that I both have some barrier when it comes to approaching girls and flirting with them, seducing them... and also I am afraid to bring them home, because I am scared that I won't be able to perform. After I stopped dating that girl I have had some one night stands and they have been mediocre... mostly I have had troubles maintaining a boner...

I am pretty good looking so I still can get a one night stand from time to time, even if I really don't radiate confidence right now...

I am pretty sure this is all in my head, so I just want to ventilate and hear some thoughts on how to change this negative thinking which really affects the way I perform... both sexually, and when it comes to seducing women.

PS. In one year I am moving to another city in the US where I know almost no one. I have lived in this city where I live now for all my life almost... and it's quite small... around 150 000 people... so everyone in my age kind of knows eachother. This is one reason to why I fear sarging in this city, I am afraid people will spread rumours about me. In one year I'm thinking of starting the game more fearlessly... really concentrate on destroying all these egocentric, fearful thoughts....

I guess I am also interested if you also been in this situation... how you gradually worked your way through it and became more confident, both when it comes to sex and seducing... I'm talking to you guys who have been quite bad with women, but through fearless practicing become good at the natural game... I'm not very interested in canned openeres and so on... I read 60 years of challenge, and that was motivating...

is there any books on this gradual process, from low self esteem to someone who really feels comfortable in his own skin around both men and attractive women? Or anything else that might motivate and help me?

Maybe it is unclear what my question is, but I simply need some motivational feedback on my situation.

It's a slow and stead progression. It takes sometime for your mind to catch up with the changes going on in your life. Just continue pushing forward. No book is going to teach you much more than that.

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Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

Hey man, I am from Copenhagen and also quite new to the PUA world. I know what you're going through: sometimes I have fantastic sex and sometimes I can't really keep a boner! I'm pretty sure that's what cost me the hottest girl I had picked up so far... our sex sucked because the D wasn't doing what it was supposed to! And it's a shame because she was also the girl I had connected with the most since I began on this journey some months back.

It really hurt so I started thinking... people are not who they seem. I thought she was sweet but if she dumps me because we were together once and I couldn't perform then she is maybe not as sweet as I thought. And it's really stupid because I know guys who take Viagra every time they are going to have sex with someone for the first time. I think that is sick and too bad for her if she dumps a good guy like me because I didn't take some drug to perform!

Since I am ultimately looking for a relationship I started thinking that maybe I shouldn't have sex with these girls I'm meeting until I'm sure about them... but then I thought more deeply about what happened with that girl and realized that women are not so logical. She might not have thought so much about it. Instead the fact that I had trouble performing might just automatically have turned her off. I guess it happens in her subconscious and I can't really blame her.

My final conclusion was this: why should I forego the possibility of a night of great sex just because I might not get it up? If I go for it, it might work out or not, but if I don't it definitely will not. It's the same as with the initial pickup. You will fail 100% of the time you don't talk to a girl; if you do talk to her that percentage might even be low but it will be less than 100%. So if you have trouble performing she might dump you or not. But if that is due to feelings she can't control I think there is a good chance she might do that even if you first have sex two months after you meet and then you will be even more sad about it.

So go for it -- if your dick is not hard enough to penetrate her don't apologize, be proud of yourself because you tried and don't let that bitch bring you down. Stand tall with your head held high no matter what!

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What would James Bond do?

The core of my problems is the same as yours. Because of it women were largely absent from my life for many years. That how I found pua.

As a seducer, your job is make a girl feel relaxed, comfortable and free from judgment. Well, it would make sense that you secure those things for yourself too, right?

Try to talk and joke about sex with the girl. Say things like "swapping oral favores", "going down", "blow jobs" etc. take the focus from inter course if that is a stresser. If you are naked and have fear, then you went too far too fast.

Move. Now..

Don't wait a year.

That was your one thing that stuck out at me. If you want to start a new life, you've gotta leave your old one behind.

If your planning on moving then there is no sense in worrying about rumors.. 150k is still a lot of people. I doubt you know every 150k in your city. your over thinking the situation .

Move sooner then later. If that's not an option , start working on yourself now. Someone once told me , if you can make something work where you are now,then you can make it work anywhere else. Reassure yourself before you go.


Have you gone to the doctor about your problem? Do u take anti depressants, that could be the cause of your thing not getting up.

If you need to... Viagra is there to help you If you indeed have impotence problems . Talk to your doctor.

If you scare rumor, you can date a girl like a secret lover.

Don't meet any of her friends or family.

Only ask her to come to your place.

Or if you guys go out, go to somewhere else that you hardly meet anyone that know you.

The way you though is more like a victim mentality or depression. Just google them and you will find a lot of idea on how to overcome them.

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Latest post: How to get to know a girl during first date [FREE]

You need to fix that cumming too fast problem. Read some internet articles on how to improve times.
You could also get some Viagra which keeps you hard no matter what. It really won't matter how many times you cum.

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RSDTyler