So I just started a new full time job in a huge call center and I know this could be a great place to meet women. However, I've gotten off to a bit of a rough start and I'm really down about it. Hopefully you guys can provide insight to help right the ship.

I've always been the reserved, quiet type which has contributed to my frustrations with women. I'm good looking enough to get laid through online dating pretty regularly but have so much trouble in the "real world" where there's way more hot chicks to pick from. I thought this new job would be a good chance, especially since it could be a "fresh start" for me to be more outgoing.

I have a group of 14 people in my training class who are going to be with me for the first 3 months or so. I was lucky that a cute girl sat next to me the first couple of days, and I did my best to strike up conversations and make her laugh. I did my share of talking and definitely didn't feel like the biggest loner in the group.

But today, when we started our real training, things went all wrong. We moved to another room to get our "permanent" seats. I kind of expected the cute girl to sit with me again because we had spent the past two days together. But.. no! After I took my seat, she went and sat on the opposite side of the room.

My mind started racing. Why would she do that? Did I creep her out at some point. The seats started to fill- nobody was choosing to sit next to me. No way... could they smell the fact that I'm insecure? Why was I repelling everyone?? And then it gets to be where I am the only person without someone sitting next to me. In other words, everyone made the subconscious decision to avoid me.

And then it gets worse. "Mind if I sit here?" I hear. And i am promptly joined by a greasy, massively overweight, 40-something who looked like a prime candidate for Jerry Springer. This is my new desk partner for the forseeable future. As the day went on, Everyone (except me) grew more outgoing and friendly with each other. Even the hideous monster sitting next to me had no problem speaking up and joking around. I did my best to fake a laugh when I noticed everyone else laughing. But it was inevitable... I didn't get a word in and definitely would be labeled as the "quiet guy"... the kiss of death for anyone trying to get laid.

How can I combat this?

Your extreamly judgemental for one... And no I don't think everyone in the room sub consciously picked a seat away from you... Unless you smelled? But seriously it's in your head bro ever think about talking with the guy next you? Might as well he's gonna be next to you for 3 months. Other then that the girl probably is serious about her job or wants to be serious and just didn't see anything between you and her as anymore then work acquaintances .

Girls like the chase. She probably wants you to chase her. After class go up to her and ask if she wants to grab a bite to eat or whatever. Be smooth and confident about it. simple sad then done.

I'm not going from experience I'm not a pua pro. Probably classified as bad at it. it just seems logical to me... Just have fun with it rather then thinking negatively .

Any others wana jump in? I don't want to give him bad Advice for being a novice

The mistake was assuming that she would think "Where is brandnew2 sitting? I'll sit next to him!"

First of all, if you're going to work together and date, it's actually best you don't sit together. This isn't like school, where you're next to each other for less than two hours.

But even if you *do* want to sit next to her, you know how you ensure this? Let her pick a seat and then sit next to her.

If you want to go back to biology, it's a woman's job to find a nest, and your job to find her. With most mammals(primates in particular), it's the females who choose where everyone stays. The males may have a broad territory, but girl chimp is picking which tree they're sleeping under.

In either event this is not a big deal. This girl already knows you. If she's interested, you can already ask her out, and if she isn't interested, that was not likely to change after sitting together for months. Steal her away on a break, get her in a good mood and ask her on a date. Done.

_________________
RSDTyler

Absolutely incorrect. Chimps are patrilocal, as are most human societies.


Just more shoddy bro science on an internet forum.

Nope. You're flat out wrong. Asked my Zoologist major friend, Zach. He confirms, males control a wide territory, and females end up selecting the exact spot where they stay.

Do not correct people in ignorance. It's a pet peeve of mine.

_________________
RSDTyler

It doesn't matter what your undergrad zoology major "friend" without a degree thinks he knows. Female chimps do not "control the exact spot where they stay"

You're talking to an anthropologist.

Chimps are mostly patrilocal, as are most human societies. In other words, when it comes to chimpanzees and most humans, the female moves in with you, your mother, your father, your siblings, your grandparents, a bunch of other agnatic relatives, male and female. Many people the world over still live this way, and was certainly the most common form of kinship structure in years past. Far from the idea you originally proffered. This is not some Fred Flintstone chimp nuclear family with a two-car garage and a mortgage whom you can anthropomorphize as a bunch of troglodytes for the sake of making a stupid point by essentially saying "dude, chimps are this way, how I'm telling you you need to be, because, SCIENCE!"

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Ad ... ne.0000973

"Here we review some methodological reasons for these inconsistencies, and take them into account to provide an unbiased characterization of mtDNA and NRY variation in chimpanzees, one of the few mammalian taxa where males routinely remain in and females typically disperse from their natal groups."

"Notably, the social structure of western gorillas seems similar to that of chimpanzees and humans in which patrilocality has been suggested to influence kin-biased behaviors between males"
http://www.cell.com/current-biology/ful ... 04)00154-X

Good to know that Zach "confirms" the opposite.


Also, from the first article, a nice definition of patrilocality for you:
"Human societies show significant variation in post-marital residence practices. About 70% of human societies practice some form of patrilocality, with men remaining in and women migrating from their natal household, clan, lineage, village, or other cultural unit subsumed within a larger group of people sharing a common culture and language, often termed a `tribé in traditional societies"


And one of my pet peeves is people on the internet sourcing dubious and patently incorrect second-hand knowledge from "friends".

Gotta love unsourced anecdotal "facts" from a college kid. More "my buddy said..." bro-science.


What was it that you were saying about correcting people from ignorance again? Might want to take your own advice, kid.


P.S. my favorite PUA motivational "fact" from another poster on here was something along the lines of "you should take cold showers, the Spartans used to do it."

Yes, showers. Cold ones. In ancient Greece, where most people are known to have bathed (if you can call it that) once or twice a year. I suppose they all went out for lattes afterwards.

That makes the rest of your post even more perplexing.
Correct. Which has nothing to do with what I said.
Which has fuck all to do with what I said: Nowhere does it say that males dictate where the females end up nesting. They do that independently. Yes, it's within the male's territory, as I said. But he's not picking the spot.


This also isn't really of any help to OP. I made an analogy that as far as I can see, you seem to have read as something that I never even wrote, as you're talking about family structure, while I spoke of nesting. But if you feel the need to further this, send me a PM. There's no point in completely derailing the thread.

_________________
RSDTyler

I was excited to see so many responses, until I read the content of them xD.

I will agree with the first response, I am a judgmental dude. I really can't help it. When I'm sitting next to a girl who looks like Danny DeVito, I have little to no desire to chat with her. Especially when she displays an annoying outgoing personality.

But I realized I can't sit and pout and only talk to the pretty girls... because then my intentions will become too clear. So I went in to work the next day with the intention of having a big smile and talking to the ugly woman next to me like she was my best friend.

It seemed to work well in boosting my overall social value because I became less of the "quiet guy who doesn't say a word".

keep doing what your doing. i wouldnt think to much into. if you really wana get with that girl talk to her after you get out of work. after talking to her im sure you will find out her intentions and feelings towards you. be truthful with yourself and try not to assume things are happening because of what your doing i.e talking with this person next to you will boost your social value. that logic will get you no where.