what is the difference between a fuckbuddy and a bf/friend?
I don't understand. Recently its been getting easier and the girls are being wayy more receptive but idk why it seems like im being considered friendly instead of attractive to myself. It could be my game getting better but i have no clue. I feel like im getting friendzoned right off the bat because everything seems to flow so easily in conversations with girls. I tease a lot (maybe too much) too but idk why i feel like I'm getting friendzoned by almost every girl. I haven't actually been friendzoned yet though, its always a rejection instead of the friendzone.

Friend= guy that has a good connection with the girl. They don't fuck with eachother.
Bf= guy that has a really good connection with the girl. They fuck but usually takes some time to get there. They don't fuck anyone except for eachother.
Fuckbuddy= guy that has from medium to good connection with the girl. They fuck with eachoter, but are free to fuck with other girls/guys.

Do you do kino? That's usually the main mistake that leads into the friendzone, I think...

What do you mean "it's always a rejection instead of the friendzone"?

When i said it's always a rejection, girls don't try to continue contact with me if they don't want to go out. I think i have been an over the top asshole. Like recently i just texted a girl with "i forgot your name, wanna tell me what it is again so i can put a name to ur number." she didn't text back.

I dont really kino much other than a hug and a handshake. I was wondering this because it seems to be getting much easier recently; im not used to it being this easy which is why i was being skeptical. And on top of that i connect with a lot of girls pretty easily which is probably why i feel like im being friendzoned. Like we both feel comfortable with each other but i guess too much comfort = friendzone. I still tease a lot and she usually initiates kino (im usually not all that touchy feely generally with people; really laid back) by hitting me or something. Im so confused.

Can you explain the difference between two lovers talking and two friends talking?

The simplest way to break down the reason behind why a guy was friend zoned is " you weren't being sexual enough".. Girls wear heels, yoga pants, and leave their cleavage out because they want to be viewed as sexually attractive. They want you to want to have sex with them.. Now the flip side is they also want you to care about who they are on the inside; but thats no match for their undying desire to be desirable.

So if you're not making her feel SEXY; she isn't going to be interested in you from a sexual/romantic stand point.. You'll just be one of those guys who she doesn't "connect with" because she doesn't feel wanted around you. Too many guys play it too cool..

When you learn to make women feel desired without putting them on some pedestal, because you recognize that you are on one yourself; your success will increase tenfold.

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how would u make them feel desired without putting them on a pedestal? I understand kino could help but what other ways are there?

If you tell a woman she's beautiful.. It may or may not mean much to her..

Now if Brad pitt says the exact same thing you said.. It actually means something because he is on a pedestal himself.

This isn't a fan desiring a celebrity; this is a celebrity desiring another celebrity. Or better yet, a celebrity desiring a fan..When you position yourself at a certain level mentally; everything you do and say becomes that much more meaningful.

The advice I'm giving here is one of those faith based intangibles that you would have to be on a certain level to understand. These science based " Kino/calibration/ioi/iod/ "guys don't really get to wrap their heads around it until much later down the line.

Your thoughts becomes you words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

Start conditioning yourself mentally to be of a certain essence and within time you will see a change in your life. This isn't one of those things thats going to happen over night.. Its a mental exercise.. And just like physical exercise, you won't see results until after a month on consistency.

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The guy who doesn't assume the attraction as already being there, whether it is or isn't, is typically the wall-flower type who waits for all lights to be green (or what he perceives as green) before making any sort of a move.

Always assume attraction, this way you'll be more inclined to sexually escalate things.


So. Do you want to be the former, and operate from a frame of scarcity clinging onto the next woman that comes along for dear life and making a relationship out of it, or would you rather operate from the later frame, take risks, and be the guy who operates from a frame of abundance and is far less likely to push himself into a relationship with the next FREAK (screw up of a girl) who comes along?

When you assume attraction (owning your own attractiveness as a man - which may mean you working on yourself to build this level of confidence), everything you do, everywhere you are, you'll be a magnet to others; they'll instinctually be drawn to your energy so opportunities will also increase in frequency. We're all sexual beings, we have different constraints placed upon us by society (media, parents, peers, etc). If all of these constraints were removed ppl would be banging each other everywhere at all times of day, a perpetual f*ckfest. Women LOVE sex every bit as much as we do, some even more so. Understand that, but there are heavy societal expectations placed upon them where there is just way too much of a cost in making this known (and the ones that do are typically labelled as sluts and damaged - although a guy doing the same is considered 'cool'); yea, in some respects women have got it bad. Use this to your advantage through your seduction skills; offer her something unique where she can explore her sexuality without being scared of incurring society's wrath (or that of her friends). This is why you escalate in subtle ways, but ensure that you do or yes, you'll be 'friend zoned'.

Ways you can escalate?
-subtle touching (arm, hand, nothing too invasive at first)
-eye contact (big one here, just don't stare at her incessantly, its creepy)
-micro behaviours you can wince at her, facial expressions can be good just not too many or again you'll look like a retard or stroke victim - not sexy
-be suggestive in your speech, you may find some use in Robert Green's book on seduction
-body language should be open, and relatively close you can find threads on this

You can even escalate through anything that adds an aura of mystery about you; always keep some things in your back pocket, never been too revealing or chatty.

And ya, active listening is SEXY; women LOVE to just feel "OMG HE JUST GETS ME!". So just because you're listening to her, and she's doing most of the talking, doesnt mean that is NOT sexy; women get wet over guys they feel understand them.

There's more I can add but I gotta get outta here.

QFT

Read and reread these highlights. They pretty much solve your entire problem once you absorb them and get used to putting them into action.

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RSDTyler

yep i guess that's it, i talk too much and i sometimes interrupt the girl. I guess i prefer self amusement over listening to the girl sometimes; i just like teasing her more than actually giving a shit about her. Im going to try and make small statements with a lot of open ended questions and listen more.

You're talking out of ego. Guess what bud? You care. You're here asking the Q.

Ppl who interrupt come across as anxious and or self absorbed but it's usually that the guy feels so insecure that he has to keep 'on' like a circuis monkey to keep her entertained - WRONG FCKIN FRAME CHIEF.


And you trying to make yourself laugh? Bullshit. You just want her to think you're a funny guy in hopes she ll think you're funny and jump on your c*ck.

Try a little less hard, see how that goes. Social experiment. Keep us posted.

nah its more like i tease my sisters a lot so im kinda fucked up. It might be also out of ego as well and i may not realize it because it's subconscious. Next approach i do, im going to try talking less.

Focus less so on content (what she's saying), but rather the behavior and what it tells you about her. Lots of nuggets of info in that.

Oh that's probably why. I always found the content a bit boring; most girls have similar lives.

I personally don't think it's the talking that's the problem; its more so the quality of what you're saying when you're talking.

I honestly speak more than the women I date usually. I'm just more interesting if I'm being honest. I tell better stories, my jokes are funnier, and I introduce interesting topics for us to talk about.

Now of course there is a time when you shut up and listen, because a conversation is between two,but I do speak probably 70% of the time and women dig it because they're usually laughing/smiling/making the Awww face the entire time.

I said make them feel sexy, not let them do the majority of the talk. Now sure you can be the listening guy if that's your personality; but don't go forcing it, because it's not necessary.

Seducing women is not about what you do, it's about how you do it.

There's guys that talk 90% of the time that get laid and there's guys that talk 90% of the time that don't. There's guys that listen 90% of the time that get laid and guys that listening 90% of the time that get friendzoned by everyone. Fat guys who get laid, fat guys who don't - muscle guys that get laid, an muscle good lookin guys who are virgins still.

It's not about the what; its about the how.

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I didn't read n2thevoid's comment as saying "You need to mostly listen, and infrequently speak". Just that you need to actually be engaged with the girl.

70-30 talking is fine. But that 30 needs to be spent paying attention, not anxiously holding back the next epic 70 he's about to unleash.

The problem is, he's not escalating. He needs to be paying attention to the girl to do that. That doesn't just mean listening to words; more than anything, it means paying attention to body language and mood.

Yeah, you can be off in your own little world and randomly start grabbing her and grinding on her, ala RSD. And you'll get similar results.

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RSDTyler