How do you deal with women you are not attracted to ?



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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 7:10 pm 
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I met few women recently but i'm just not attracted to them, but they are. They are cool personality, but the emotion is just not there on my side.

How do you deal with such ladies.

Do you say to them LJBF (lets just be firends)?

Do you say that you don't feel romantic about them?

Or you just don't say them anything?

Do you mind hurting their feelings? I don't want to reject them harshly.

Do you force yourself and still make it put with them?

I personally keep the things friendly but i dont LJBF them, or admit them that i'm not attracted to them.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:44 pm 
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Introduce them to your friends.

One of your buddies will think she's hot. If she hooks up with your buddy, she may return the favour by hooking you up with one of her girlfriends


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 9:07 pm 
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Introduce them to your friends.

One of your buddies will think she's hot. If she hooks up with your buddy, she may return the favour by hooking you up with one of her girlfriends
Nice insight.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 9:08 pm 
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just be honest. that's what I do all the time. some uglies approach me and I just say no. if they insist I just ask if they really want to know the truth and then I tell them. Usually it's like "you look like shit and you disgust me and you are in my way. please disappear forever as I don't want to ever see you again. thank you"
usually they cry. anyway, lies hurt more than the truth.
funny thing is some of them talk me some time after that and say thanks for being honest and that what I said helped them to realise some things that they want to improve.

then... there's the stalker ones. but that's another topic.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 10:57 am 
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Usually it's like "you look like shit and you disgust me and you are in my way. please disappear forever as I don't want to ever see you again. thank you"
usually they cry.
Damn dude....


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 1:04 pm 
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Usually it's like "you look like shit and you disgust me and you are in my way. please disappear forever as I don't want to ever see you again. thank you"
usually they cry.
Damn dude....
they really insist that I tell them the truth. who am I to deny them that. It's not cruel or something. Quite on the opposite. I'm the only one with balls capable of saying what people are always thinking. I wish people would be more honest like me. No need to lie.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:16 pm 
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Usually it's like "you look like shit and you disgust me and you are in my way. please disappear forever as I don't want to ever see you again. thank you"
usually they cry.
Damn dude....
they really insist that I tell them the truth. who am I to deny them that. It's not cruel or something. Quite on the opposite. I'm the only one with balls capable of saying what people are always thinking. I wish people would be more honest like me. No need to lie.
I find this severely dickish. Who are you to bring someone down and hurt their feelings ? If you dont find them attractive fine just tell her you dont find her attractive no need what so ever to tell them that they disgust you. It doesnt take balls to be a dickhead.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 4:08 pm 
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I agree with unknownpoet about being honest but there's really no need to be such an asshole about it.

I treat women that I'm not attracted to just the same as I'd treat any dude. If they're coming on strong I would verbally LJBF but there's usually no need when you've got frame control on your side.

Frame your relationship as friendship and nothing more (or whatever kind of relationship you're willing to have with them, like acquaintances if you don't want to be friends with them for whatever reason) and 99% of the time they won't be bothering you with unwanted advances.

unknownpoet is coming from a unique position, though, and I understand why he's like that. Most of us have the luxury of not having been through the same shit he's been through so some good general advice to follow would be to show a little more compassion...


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:42 pm 
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I find this severely dickish. Who are you to bring someone down and hurt their feelings ? If you dont find them attractive fine just tell her you dont find her attractive no need what so ever to tell them that they disgust you. It doesnt take balls to be a dickhead.
ok maybe I was a bit harsh and don't use exactly those words but it doesn't shock me to. I usually say like.
"look, the truth is I don't find you attractive. I find you ugly because you are fat and because of that you disgust me. I don't want to talk to you I want to meet other people. sorry. get someone else. now PLEASE stop insisting. just go away. thank you"

The thing is most people don't have enough balls to handle the truth. Not my fault that they ask for it. Truth hurts. So what? should I lie? I'm not unpolite or even insult. Not at all. I don't need to. I just say what I think. Maybe some other guy thinks otherwise (I doubt but really don't care).
It's not like I say it to every girl it approaches me. I just do it when they specifically ASK for it and INSIST to. And that's not my fault that this happens a lot.

If they disgust me and that's the reason why I'm not attracted should I omit that? you know what they say after I say I don't find them attractive? They always ask "WHY? WHY DON'T YOU FEEL ATTRACTED" always!

And did I mention most of them actually thank me for my honesty? because no one really told them the truth?!? EVER! And you know what? some of them really changed themselves. I've meet some years later and they were looking a lot better and they actually hit on me again and it was great.

As I see it I've values and moral and as long as I do no harm I do and say whatever I want. And being lied is really a great harm you are causing. Believe me. A lie hurts way more than the truth.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:07 pm 
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As I see it I've values and moral and as long as I do no harm I do and say whatever I want. And being lied is really a great harm you are causing. Believe me. A lie hurts way more than the truth.
However there is difference between telling a lie (e.i. the opposite of the truth)...
Example: When she insisits you say "I like you but you are not my type" = THIS IS LIE

... AND saving\avoiding the truth or the subject. (most of the time it is possible to just skip the subject at all) Example: "I don't find you attractive" or "you are not my type" - now you don't lie to her, you just don't say the whole truth because there is no need to do it.

And me personally I think the best solution is to LJBF her and say her she is not what you are looking for but she has those other positive inner qualities (if she really has some). In that case if she manages to become your friend lots of time she would have another girlfriends (hopefully pretty enough) to be worth dealing with.

And yeah if she is just pain in the as* - be honest with her and get her some sense.

Actually I think it depends on the girl. I was basically asking if she is quite polite and conscientious, but you just don't sexually like her.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 1:01 pm 
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I don't feel the need to put fat girls down to make myself feel superior. Saying something like "I'm not into big girls" is one thing, but laying the smackdown on a girl who has been nothing but nice to you just shows you are an unhappy person who has deep-seated issues with his self-esteem.

You should talk to everyone. Guys, fat girls, old women. Telling a girl she is ugly is not constructive. Telling her what she is doing wrong and how she could improve her looks? That is productive.

Julien is right about fat girls. You can learn a lot of useful comebacks and one-liners from them. They are so used to getting rejected that they usually have a sharper wit than the dumb hotties. They are useful as warm up sets or to keep your social momentum going between sets.

Nobody cares that you're talking to a fat chick. It doesn't "DLV" you and it doesn't make people think you're into fat chicks. Nobody is even looking at you. Believe it or not, you're not as important as you think you are. Nobody is.

Lose the God complex. Your massive ego makes you vulnerable.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 1:45 pm 
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3 things

Thing 1 -- ljbf
Thing 2 -- you'd be perfect for my friend Dave
Thing 3 -- let's go out , you can be my wing girl


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:21 pm 
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just want to point out that omitting is lying too and therefore you should say the whole truth.

like if a girl is obese and you say you don't like her face. makes no sense. say it all.
I wish all women would be so sincere like that. It sure helps a LOT.

there's an huge difference between being rude and telling the truth. I choose to tell the truth. Don't like it? sorry it's not my fault. reality is you can't change facts. things are just the way they are.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:23 pm 
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If I reject a girl and she demands to know why, I would say "If you want my honest opinion, I'm not into big girls, sorry".
You reject her by saying "Get out of my way. You are disgusting and ugly because you are fat. You look like shit, please disappear forever." - There is no difference between the content of what we are saying. We are both saying she is too fat. I'm not lying. I'm still telling her she is too fat. I haven't avoided the issue.

But I have displayed a rational calm response to the fat chick problem. You have only displayed that you have a short temper, you are easily irritated and also showed that you are not capable of handling bullshit in a calm, mature way. Having your little tantrum and telling her to "disappear forever" is dramatic reactive teenage/feminine behaviour.

Grow up. You clearly have issues.


Last edited by Hunter_Foxe on Thu Dec 11, 2014 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:39 pm 
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ok maybe I was a bit harsh and don't use exactly those words but it doesn't shock me to. I usually say like.
"look, the truth is I don't find you attractive. I find you ugly because you are fat and because of that you disgust me. I don't want to talk to you I want to meet other people. sorry. get someone else. now PLEASE stop insisting. just go away. thank you"
Terrible, terrible advice. You can be honest and that's perfectly fine, but chewing out someone like that is just unnecessary and rude. Not only is it rude, but if there are any other girls around that see this, you have just completely eliminated yourself from the ability to get with them. If you merely say "thanks but I'm not interested. I'm just not feeling it" you are not lying in any way and you are merely being selective, which is a good thing. Being rude like that makes you look crazy and unstable. You are acting the same way that a drama filled little princess would, and it's not acceptable by society.
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And did I mention most of them actually thank me for my honesty? because no one really told them the truth?!? EVER! And you know what? some of them really changed themselves. I've meet some years later and they were looking a lot better and they actually hit on me again and it was great.
You really expect people to believe this?


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