Hi all

New to this site so greetings to you all. Apologies for this rather long post but I have really fallen for this girl and don't know where I stand (and it takes a lot to win me over but she has done it)

Quick background about me - I am a 28 year old Indian male living in the UK and I have fallen for a really nice black chick, Jade. Everyone says I am hilarious and absolutely crazy, and the ladies at work adore me. I work for a charity with about 12 females (mostly mothers) and few males. I am popular with them and sometimes it seems that they do compete for my attention. I am definitely not an Alpha male and don't want to be because I have tried to be one before and it is boring!

This girl has joined as a student on work experience and will be leaving soon. We have been working together for last two months but she has a boyfriend. She has mentioned him twice in my presence. We were casual at first, just chatting occasionally about boring things (as I was not into her) and I had to train her at work so we spent some time together only professionally. But now she really enjoys my company and is always laughing like crazy and cracking jokes around me - people say she is the female version of me we get along so well. She seems to open up when I am there, not sure when I am not.

I have been lead on before and learnt from it so I am not that naïve but this seems more genuine for some reason - she seems more consistent. I want to believe she likes me (like every make would), but not sure if she likes me, sees me as a friend or just leading me on. So far, the following has happened -

She knows I drink a lot of coffee and asked me if I drink cappuccino. I replied that I did sometimes and she told me she would bring me some from home. I did not expect anything, as people usually BS about, but she actually did bring me cappuccino sachets. Then, I asked her if she could buy me a sandwich from the local shops as she was going for lunch and when I tried to give her money, she insisted on paying for it. So initially I did let her pay, but ended up giving her money back. She replied after "that's sweet, YOURE A LOT LIKE ME, I do that too". Now, this was in the first few weeks and only when we were initially engaging.

But then, out of the blue, when I was helping her with her work, she touched me by the shoulder to bring me closer to her when another female colleague was teasing me. This is what got my attention! Since she had a bf, I was surprised she would do this so I just laughed. She has since touched my arm and my tapped me on the back of the shoulder.

She compliments me as well, continuously saying I'm "really funny", "I will miss you when I leave", "youre a star" (which I don't think means much); and that I am "really cute". However, I have had these comments from pretty much EVERY GIRL!!! (18 year olds to 85 year old grannys) so normally shrug it off

Her friend pretends to like me and Jade always teases me about it. But, her friend also teases that Jade likes me (but her friend does like to tease me a lot). When this happens, Jade just goes quiet and then carries on flirting with me moments after. She seems to open up when I am there, not sure when I am not.

Also, she was stroking her hair when she was at the desk in opposite me when a colleague was showing her something on the computer. I have not seen her do that before but I think the reason she behaved like this is because I did not give her much attention that day compared to my female colleagues I was talking to.

She randomly asked me if I listen to Beyoncé. I don't know any male who does but I believe she was trying to find something in common. When I said I did not, she asked me what music I listened to, and I said hip-hop

However, the other day, she was very flirty...acting crazy and very giggly. I was cracking jokes with the other ladies as I always do, and she was saying things like...

"Im gonna cry. What would do if I cried?".

I replied "I'd laugh".

She found that funny. Then she started saying like "You wanna hear something interesting?". When I asked responded "yes", she said "oh...leave it. it does not matter". I kept asking her about it and she said its too embarrassing. But then when it was just me, Jade and her friend colleague left in the office, she kept calling me "cute" and said something I have never heard before which is what makes me think she may actually like me. She said that wants to take a pic of me take with her when she leaves. I said not without her in the pic, and she said she didn't like taking pics of herself. I said that she was not going to get it, and she said "well, I already took one of you when you weren't looking"

I have not caught her making obvious eye contact with me from across the room (we work in a tiny office) and her body language is somewhat receptive but kinda shy, so not sure about attraction.


Sorry for the lengthy email, but as you can gather, a lot of detailed scenarios. And I really do like her for personality as well as looks so not intent on just sleeping with her then leaving her. But this bf thing is a thorn in my side. So, do you think she likes me? Whats her game? What should I do next?

Would really appreciate your thoughts as I have asked two other forums with no response

Kind regards
Satti

Sorry Sati, I didn't read your great wall of text.


I can read the future though.... if she has a boyfriend I would say your walking a tight wire friend, you fall on one side,you have a crazy person on your tail, slip on the other, a new girl your now responsible for because YOU broke up a relationship.

I'm not saying don't do it,just that you'r going to fall.

-Sincerely,Compass

_________________
" I never regret doing it, but i always regret not doing it...."
~Compass

Didn't read this either. It's just too long. How about a tl;dr version?

If she likes you and she has a boyfriend and she has shown that she wants to pursue something with you then go for it. You might get the shit kicked out of you by the boyfriend but that aspect to risk is up to you. All I can see is that if she wants your dick when she has a boyfriend she's not a good girlfriend anyway and shouldn't be pursued as a potential love interest.

Hey Satti

If she is in a relationship I would personally keep my distance, as mentioned by the other guys if the BF finds out she cheated or she tells her BF that shes found someone else her BF might come looking for you.

You also have to bear in mind that if shes capable of cheating on her BF or leaving him for you, then she is very much capable of doing it to you when she finds herself in a similar situation. A Leopard can't change its spots.

_________________
Peace,
Leo

Keeping signatures original since: Wed Oct 09, 2013

its why guys are told to ask if the girl has a boyfriend, because if she does any drama that comes your way is on you not her.

not because its not her fault but because you decided to take on the drama

You giving so much detail shows me that you are desperate for not only advice, but for this girl. Damn it dude, stop reading into everything so much. Stop acting so needy. Your entire post just screams out you asking "Does she like me?! Does she like me?! What does it mean?!"

Yes this chick likes you... Do you have the balls to fuck her or no? Whether or not you're going to let her boyfriend stop you is completely up to you. Clearly, the way you are explaining things, she doesn't give a fuck about her boyfriend. But you do...?

As far as someone else said about the boyfriend possibly being crazy... that's very likely. Most likely he possessive and controlling and it turns her off. So she see's potential in you. She might think you're better than him. And he might not like that. Fuck, I had one instance where this girls boyfriend tried to blow up my car. So treat this girl as if she has herpes...

Just think to yourself... Is it worth it?