I am quite a regular poster here, and I would say my game is initially good. I am attractive, physically fit and I can get girls easily.

However, I just can't seem to stop myself falling ridiculously in love with just one girl. It's a real problem, I go from single, abundance mentality and then I over-invest massively even when I KNOW IT IS A MISTAKE!!!

I can give advice, but I cannot take my own. It's making me feel worthless. Just yesterday I was absolutely crushed by this girl I had been dating and had planned to reconnect with after traveling! I mean come on, a girl who has gone traveling and there I was, absolutely crazy about her like some teenage moron.

This is my biggest issue and I need help, I know what I should do but I cannot implement it, my emotional mind just goes "LOL NO" and I get swept away with it all.

I am considering actually seeing a therapist to get to the bottom of why I am perpetually going from having loads of girls, to cutting them down to my favourite, over-investing and then being heartbroken and destitute.

It feels like a curse. "Rough, you are going to be handsome and athletic, but your inner game shall be forever shit!"

Help a brother out

I'm not quite following you... Is it only one girl you have fallen in love with, or is this something that happen to you all the time?

If it's only one special(!) girl you don't really have a problem. She is just right for you, and you should value the chemistry between you since it's quite rare. I hope you didn't screw up, or did you?

If it happens all the time with different girls, it's not love. It's just some obsession and/or fascination (as the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence). If this is the case, I wonder why these relationships end?

You've been hanging around this forum for too long. This is a place to get some ideas on how to communicate and meet some people, not a place to source your life goals.

Every lying a-hole member in this forum brags, brags, and brags about fucking 1,000 girls. . .no, 2,000. And of course if they're in the insulting mood, they insult others by yapping, "And I fuck more girls than you." - as if this is an accomplishment. . . meanwhile, everything they type suggests that they are retarded inbred mongrels who are hand fed by their mommies. This adolescent playground culture has turned this forum into a joke . . . but to allow it to shift your self image is silly. Look . . . what is the mistake in falling in love? . . . and what is the mistake in treating a girl you love better than how you treat others? Isn't that the point? And if you get your heart broken? Oh no. . . well, welcome to life. Getting your heart broken is as part of life as is falling in love. Relax. . . whether you realize this or not, it's your ability to love others that allows you to get play with the ladies in the first place. This is your strength, not your weakness.

Technically speaking, you probably made some mistakes. Should you have told her "abc" instead of "xyz"? Maybe. . . should you have acted a certain way vs. another way? Maybe . . . but these things will sort itself out because your head and heart are in the right place and this means that you'll figure out the x's and o's based on your personality and desire for "attraction", not on some fantasy goals of an inbred mongrel typing from his momma's basement.

Go out there and get your 'heart broken' a few more times. (not on purpose but consequently to your own spirit and individuality) Too much is no good but just a few more times will automatically sort out the 'technical' shit.

Yeah, those are wise words. Thank you, it makes me feel better.

I seem to have this pattern of: choice of girls -> pick one -> over-invest -> heartbroken. It's happened several times and each time I kid myself that it won't happen.

I'll likely get some shit for this advice. But if I find myself 'falling' for her. I take an analysis of both physical and mental flaws. If she decides to spool off its limited loss.

Shallow? Maybe. But I guarantee they do the same thing more efficiently.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I agree with kasabi - to an extent.

It sounds like you're frequently developing infatuations towards one girl, getting heart broken, recovering, and then repeating the same thing with another group of girls. There's nothing wrong with picking a favourite girl but maybe try being a bit reserved in the overinvesting bit until you're sure about her.

But like I said before, there's nothing wrong with choosing one person. You're going to have to do that eventually and it might just be that you've come across that "someone special" already.

You wrote that you do this "perpetually". OK. . . how many times? 2? 20? 200? Exactly how often is "all the time"? (I already know that this "happened" WELL LESS THAN 10 times because if it happened 10 times, as I suggested earlier, your habitual patterns would have sorted itself out.) You wrote that you "over-invest". . . what does this mean? A $500 restaurant date investment? Did you invest 3 hours for a poem? You wrote that you're heart was CRUSHED. . . what does this mean? Did she tell you to open your mouth so she could shit down it and she wishes you will die of hepatitis so she never has to see you again?

Try to avoid cliche's. Avoid exaggerations. Get specific. You don't have to share these things with the forum but try your best to use specific language so that you can better identify your situations for what they are. So it's not, "I am so fucked right now!" . . . It's "I just talked too much at the job interview." There is no solution for the former, there is a solution for the latter.

I realize that you are trying to convince us of your situation through some exaggerations but in effect, what you're doing is convincing YOURSELF that these very normal, boring, and mundane events are noteworthy and significant events. Girls will tell you, "Let's be friends". They will tell you, "I don't know what's going to happen next month". Until the day you die, you will say things that to piss the shit out of women. (Otherwise, they'd be men with no dicks) These things are a part of life. . . and it's actually quite comical. . .

Kasabi is spot on as usual

There is knowledge on this forum that is helpful and can be used to make you a better more confident man, and in turn this will help you figure out what YOU want. Just because you find one chick special and you think you "overinvest" dosent mean you have "oneitis" it jus means you found a chick you like hanging with... If it dosent work out then there are plenty more to choose from, its proably safe to say we've all been there at one point in our lives, and with trial and error and a little time, you will figure it out.