"Martial arts is the answer. Torture yourself, get your nose displaced, this will create confidence in you." is the mantra.

There have always been people on this planet who didn't fight in their free time but still managed to get good looking girlfriends.

Most people with good looking girlfriends don't fight.

So how do they do it?

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I have been doing pickup since 1st of March in 2005.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Your mother's beastiality addiction, bro.

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I have been doing pickup since 1st of March in 2005.

social art it called

You need to elaborate that.

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I have been doing pickup since 1st of March in 2005.

You actually believe that in order to get a girlfriend you should be a fighter? Where the hell did you pick that up from?

The only women that like a man that fights constantly are scumbags. A lot of women hate it when men fight and will actually break up with you if you turn out to be that kind of guy. It's a different story if you're a professional boxer or whatever else but to assume that in order to get a hot girlfriend you need to be physically aggressive is fucking stupid.

You don't actually believe that do you? Or is this just a really poor analogy for "a guy needs to jump in and risk getting hurt" kind of thing?

sociology, psychology - for gaining theory, understand how human operate what drives him
NLP - neuro linguistic programming, for controlling situations, mind playing, self mood etc...
logic and philosophy - for analyzing the theory
all those methods that help you enhance your communication makes people like you, builds yours confidence,
since confidence is a product of the approval you get from the society, those tools are powerful.

Confidence comes from the inside not some validation from society or whatever else.

You get confidence through what you accomplish. But it's not the actual accomplishment and the feedback that should matter, it's the feeling of being capable of leading, producing.

Martial arts will boost your confidence if you enjoy them. If you don't, then not only will your ass be kicked into pieces, but absolutely no confidence gain either.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

"from the inside", isn't scientific explanation, it's vague statement, if you don't you understand nor can't explain what you are talking about, don't cancel solid theories.
without validation, from the girl, and validation, is when she gives you number, or kiss or signs of interest....
it's an approval for your accomplishment, without that you won't gain any confidence.
look into sociology, you will understand how you depend on society approval, the way you behave, the way you dress, the way you feel determined by society code.

~Vlad

First off let's define confidence because when I say confidence what I mean is the full belief of being capable of doing something. And something is important, not anything. A chess GM will probably feel fully confident when playing a game of chess against a weaker player, but will struggle if asked to do a difficult gymnastic excersize.

Secondly, Zen theories disagree with your sociology theories. And seeing how fucked up society is, and how peaceful state of minds buddhist priests have, I will go with their theories instead.

I can define "from the inside" further if that is your issue.

It means a peaceful state of mind, where you are doing the exact opposite what your society studies suggest. You free yourself from the burden of external validation, because you understand how counterproductive that is. Seeking validation is the definition of being needy. If you need that to feel confident, you are not really confident. It is only an illusion, because once the validation goes away, so does your confidence. Validation is not there to limit you, or define your confidence. It is there to give you opportunities to improve yourself.

To give you an example, I am studying at a medical university. If I relied on validation I would have probably quitted or at least wouldn't be able to say a word on Anatomy exams because over the past 4 years this department failed me over 20 times on different exams.(Anatomy 1 x7, Histo 1 x7, Anatomy 2 x1, Neuroanatomy x6). Yet I realize that I can always change the way I study, or change my time schedule, and sooner or later I figure out the good way. My confidence in an exam situation is not affected. I have had full belief in that I'm going to pass each time I've tried.

We could argue about this all day, but I don't think it would be useful for the thread, as the end conclusion will be the same:

Gaining confidence is achieved by doing what you love and improving yourself.

I think we can agree on this^ and stop the pointless debate that will never end anyway...

Peace,

In$tinct

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

It's like martial arts, bro. If you're a beginner, the instructor will teach you the rather complex roundhouse kick. He'll break down the movements for you step by step. He'll ask you to do the movements several times. By the one thousandth time, you'll be kicking a perfect roundhouse kick before you even break your nose.

Repetition with proper form gives you "confidence". I placed confidence in quotation marks because what you see as confidence or courage isn't what it appears to be. The movement becomes automatic, it appears innately natural to you just like walking or taking a shit in the toilet. As a baby too, you had to learn to shit in the toilet until you're not really giving any thoughts on how to do it. It becomes automatic and natural; that appears as confidence.

So how do guys get those goodlooking girlfriends?

Well, they've have interacted a LOT with goodlooking girls.

Repetition. That's the best way to simplify it. You get goodlooking girlfriends by interacting with them. So who's gonna break down and simplify the movements fer yah? Start with the newbie mission. Begin with something simple and add more complex techniques as you begin to feel 'confident' with your new skill set.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

fair enough, i never heard of Zen theories.
i agree with the sentence, although i have some reservation, anyway you stated you point.

good luck
~Vlad

The reason I ask this: there is this gorgeous girl, I see at the supermarket sometimes. I go rarely and at different times, so either it's occasional or she is there every day all the time. And always with a man.

So every time she sees me, she gives me long eye contact that she breaks first as if she's being surprised by her own courage. Whenever she's given me eye contact, a man she's with comes close to her. And grins like a Cheshire cat.

And this repeats each time I am there and they are there. I know that this will continue as long as I am alive and meet them because this is how males are created.

She is probably not even interested in me but uses this for an ego boost for herself.

Also if I talk to her now, she'll be all cunty because she already sees me as less of a man because I did not approach her the first time I saw her. Proof for that is that just recently I saw a woman and instantly approached her. She was the most receptive in days.

They say, attraction is no choice for women. Well, it's no choice for men either. Whenever I see her, my biology tells me that she's perfect. So I have to look at her and the game repeats. Even if I don't look at her, they notice as my body is inhibited then. And going over, talking to her risks me being beaten up by Cheshire cat - if not in store then on the outside.

As the mantra "you have to do martial arts ugga ugga grow balls ugga ugga man up *hammers on his chest like a monkey*" is prevalent on any pickup forum - and I even went this route with the outcome of me being severely hurt - I am looking for alternatives. It's like therapy, whenever I say it doesn't work people stop taking me seriously when in fact I have the practical experience that they lack.

To be fair, yes, I had more courage when I did martial arts. But I think there were other factors that contributed to it.

_________________
I have been doing pickup since 1st of March in 2005.

I also believe that as it is in tune with my experience. Your body's chemicals punish you if you don't have the outcome of regular sex. I don't understand why so many people diminish their success by assuming they had no outcome.

_________________
I have been doing pickup since 1st of March in 2005.

You have not YET interacted with this ONE girl. You'll only gain 'confidence' after you have interacted with several hundred gorgeous girls.

I have trained this kid once who had a lot of fear going inside his head. He kept on asking questions like, "What if I get kicked in the face? What if I get confined in the hospital?"

I didn't answer any of his questions. Instead, I just let him kick and punch several dozen combos every weekend until every movement became second nature to him. Next, I signed him up in a tournament. He won the silver medal without any injuries after battling it out with 5 opponents at 3 rounds per fight. On the other hand, the gold medalist who beat him on points was limping really bad from all of the fast and hard strikes he took.

It's the same with pick up. Just get out there and interact with several HUNDRED gorgeous girls and you'll realize that the odds of getting into a fight because of ONE girl is very slim when you do day game. It's all in your head, bro.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html