Hey. So I'm just gonna break down what happened... So basically My city was snowed in like crazy but me and my friend said fuck it lets go to the club anyways. So we went and it was kinda dead, but i decided to say fuck it and danced like I knew how to dance (even though I didn't). I was dancing and about 2 girls approached me and asked if I wanted to dance with them, so for each one I did. They almost immediately went to grinding on me, Which I don't really like because 1. I suck at grinding and 2. I like to look at a girl when I dance with her..

But to get to the point basically everytime I go to the club I dance with girls but that's basically it. I just feel like there's no attraction and I don't even wanna dance with them anymore, and they're cute girls. Idk what this is, is there an explanation? Am I nervous without realizing it? Maybe I should just try to isolate and then my brain will realize that I have a cute girl in front of me? Don't get me wrong I have a fun time everytime, I just feel like I should be taking a girl home or something.


(unrelated: Also since I'm such a nice guy I tried to get this lame chubby girl to dance with me cause her friend was dancing and she was bored, and she rejected me. Like seriously? I probably had the most social proof in there. Maybe I scared her.)

Any advice?

I think you seem sane. Be glad that your are not needy. The looks alone should not be enough to get you attracted (it isn't for me at least), it should only be motivation to start talking to a girl. If you have the right chemistry you will feel how your attraction to her grows. All you need to do is to initiate a conversation. So stop dancing and start talking instead.

About being rejected by girls... There are several possible reasons why you get rejected. Usually it comes down to your ability to read people, meet them at their "level" (similar state of mind) and build rapport. In case of chubby girls they tend to be very insecure, and reject guys they think are too attractive because they are afraid of being hurt. It makes them feel they are in control, giving them some sense of having power. But that kind of behavior is just destructive and will never get them laid. But it's their problem, not yours.

You can always grind them first and then start a conversation. This may help you to meet her again (if you like her, ofc!)

Hey man I feel...you...this routine has ALWAYS worked for me...

but keep in mind when you are in the field...often times...

more often then so...its the PLAYER and not the material itself...





So this is my routine, maybe it might work for you...


1. Jealous GF opener

2. Fluff talk, establish some rapport

3. Isolate





Basically classic Mystery method...it always work man.

Just be confident in yourself and your abilities when you do it.

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You are overthinking, probably self conscious... let go and have fun, focus on the fun, but if you have opportunities like the ones you mention escalate and close...Again overthinking is your problem let go of the outcome..

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I used to have the same problem...The moment I start grinding with a girl, I get turned off out of a sudden. I might have found a way to solve it though because it's working for me. Just get turned on, on purpose! Once you start having a boner and grinding, kiss-close as early as you can.

The sudden pump of testosterone you'll feel will get you in a mood for sex. Not to mention that she'll start vibing with you too, which will set you both on fire.

Be careful not to drink too much though. Last time I had an HB9 grinding on me (I could tell everyone wanted her because the people around us were looking in an obvious way). Anyways, I try to get a boner, nothing happens. That's mainly because I drank too much and it was impossible to get turned on. We both felt that it was dead so we let go and called it off.

I had this problem before ... where we dance ... and the girl says thanks and runs off. Therefore I concentrate on my process of pulling for every girl I interact with ... whether dancing or I've opened outside dance floor.

1) Find out logistics.
- How she get here, where she lives, who is she here with, does she have to wake up early the next day, is her boyfriend her ... etc etc etc.
2) Befriend her friends.
- Have friends cheering for you.
3) Lead her somewhere.
- To the bar, 5 feet away from where you are, to go meet your friends or her friends ... etc
4) Demonstrate a preview of what will happen later on when you guys are in bed.
- Sexual talk, hardcore make out, biting neck ... etc etc
5) Decisive pull.
- Tell her that you will drive/walk her home/invite her an after party to your place ... etc etc

Have this check list completed and you will counter LMR, her friends talking bad about you, not willing to leave with you, not wasting your time on a girl who has to wake up early the next day for a flight outside of the country, not trusting you .... etc etc ...

Sincerely,

Donston

Hey sorry for taking so long to get back.. I've been VERY busy and going out a lot lately.. I went out last night as well. Got a little too drunk, but K-closed one girl, but couldn't isolate.. I was in a bar in a main collegetown area it was REALLY crowded, like barely any room to dance. (I did have a girl come up ask me where I learned how to dance though which was really flattering because I don't know how to dance that well, I'd say i'm just slightly above average, I just get really into it ahaha.)

I'm gonna take your advice and when I go out saturday make it my goal to try to ISOLATE every single girl I dance with.. I dont care if I get rejected a million times.

@Prince_Prince Usually the places I go there isn't much ability to use an opener, and I also think I suck at making up openers.. I should work on my daygame.

@skills I thought about that too, maybe I do start to overthink it. Don't think I'm self-concious..

@Xoved haha maybe I'll try that, but I don't like to think with the wrong head!

@donston I like this.. But to accomplish number 1 I think i would have to accomplish #3 first =]

Thanks you guys for all your help.. Usually I see posts on here that don't get too many good answers so I wasn't expecting these quality replies.. I think the number 1 thing I have to focus on is ISOLATING and seeing them as more than just a little dance partner or chick that i'm talking to while taking a break or getting a drink.

Sorry let me be clear with my posts:
1) The list is more of a check lists ... doesn't have to be done in order. Plus, I slip in logistical question every now and then within my bantering and dancing. I don't ask them consecutively. I ask them through out the interaction.
2) My definition of Logistics is understanding her situation. The reason why it is first is because ...
- Almost with in a minute of interacting with the girl I ask her the logistical question of "Who are you here with and how do you know them?"
- This will help you know if she has a boy friend, who are the friends to befriend ... then strategize ways to keep her hanging out with you until you've pull her.
- I know that most girls will have to return to her friends. So I "befriend the friends" and "lead" here by asking "Introduce me to your friends ... My name is Donston if you forget it already". (Feel free to use my name :p)
- Once I've befriend the friends ... Isolate the girl by either going to the dance floor, going to the bar, walking 5 feet away to tell her something, to a dark corner to perform the "Preview" ... etc etc ... with out asking for permission ... just lead her.

My definition of "lead" is like mini bouncing her to different places in the club/bar to get her more susceptible to leaving the club/bar with me. At least do a minimum of one mini bounce ... of course the more your lead her to different areas will increase her trust in you and be willing to leave with you. Most importantly ... when you isolate by leading ... you don't ask permission ... just lead her. [example: Grab her hands and say, "Let's get drinks" .. then lead the way to the bar]

Hope that clarifies some things. My check lists is just a summary ... you can have a whole post topic of techniques to accomplish each individual item on the lists.

Lastly, I presented you the check lists so you do more than just dance with the girl :p ... plus its pretty fun and adventures when you go through the lists ... countering your boredom of the girl :p while countering any rationalities why she should not lay with you. The end result is a win win situation where both of you are arm and arm ... skipping home together to fuck her brains out ^_^ ... while her friends are cheering you on ...