self sabotage



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 Post subject: self sabotage
PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:11 pm 
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MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:25 am
Posts: 79
Recovering afc here!

Recent years once step at a time i have gotten alot better a game in just overall communication with people, losing weight, being a source of good emotions... ETC.

Meanwhile i still have negatives from my life as an afc. namely small friend count leaving me little options outside of cold approaching.

My problem here is this. I've had chances/ opportunities to get laid. I just have never seized the moment. I dated a girl for about a month and gamed her well. I got in her room one night fingering her and everything. And yet was too drunk to get the job done. A week later i ended up in her room again and i'm sure she would have allowed me to fuck her. But i just couldn't do it. all i had to do was escalate but i felt too weak to do it. Almost as if i didn't deserve it.

Another time just last week a bartender was surely into me and giving me signals. Letting me know she was taking the bus home that night. and yadda yadda. I diddn't make a move. she even made the effort to isolate herself with me.

2 months away from 24 and im still carrying my v card. So now i'm wondering am i afraid of pussy?
I just don't know man. I've had a problem with self hate before which i thought i cured. But apparently i still feel like i'm not worth it.


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 Post subject: Re: self sabotage
PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:27 pm 
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PUA Forum Leader
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Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 11:55 pm
Posts: 1273
My brain honed in on one small detail of your story - you "couldn't get the job done". Are you saying that you have either erectile dysfunction or performance anxiety, then? If so, that is a HUGE factor when it comes to how willing you are to take things to the next level. I had performance anxiety for a really long time and I eventually stopped trying to get with anyone because I knew my flacid, average-sized dick wouldn't work properly anyway. If you think that's the case, shoot me a PM and I'll explain the cure that worked for me.

Otherwise, you're probably just shy/introverted/lacking confidence, which is something that can be worked on through practice. Slowly edge your way out of your comfort zone until you're more confident. And when push comes to shove, if you know you should make a move but don't have the balls, count to 3 quickly in your head then just do it without giving it a second thought. It works every time.


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 Post subject: Re: self sabotage
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:16 am 
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The Coach
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Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:44 am
Posts: 4170
Location: Chicago, IL
We gotta turn you into a closer my dude :)


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 Post subject: Re: self sabotage
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:01 pm 
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MPUA Forum Addict

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:08 am
Posts: 227
Location: US
Chunk the goal. Meaning break it down into smaller steps not one big one.
Kino, Escalate to kissing, then to second base, Set smaller obtainable goals to the big one.

Also already imagine the real deal happened in the past and your looking back on it. What
did it feel like, what were her positive statements. Your probably thinking negative future and
past projections. Access the positive future and past expectations through your positive emotions.


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