Was in a restaurant and asked a good looking lady to watch my things while I went to the loo. When I was on there I realized that there was a piece of lettuce on my shirt. While this was mildly embarrassing it made for a great opener upon return.

So the attraction was made bit then on the build rapport phase I failed to connect and she seemed a bit like a deer in the headlights. I asked questions about her which she a answered but never progressed orher than for me to eventually feel awkward enough to gracefully withdraw on my own terms.

I felt like it was a failed opportunity and is kind of a reoccuring experience.


What do you think is going on?

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Total f*ckin' noob

Nothing. Sometimes it happens but the only way I can think of a "Lettuce on my shirt" opener is... well, embarrassing and goofy. What the hell did you say "Oh my god, how embarrassing, I had lettuce on my shirt. That's crazy isn't it?" or what...?

Even at that no matter how you open, approach or talk to someone sometimes it's just not going to pan out. You've got to look at it as a learning experience even when you're a PUA and picking up women every day.

I don't believe in numbers game. I believe it works but I don't think it's what PUA should be considered to be. Any idiot can go up to 100 women a day and get one to fuck him unless he's incredibly creepy and weird. It takes a true player to have his success rate as close to 100% as possible. Until you get that success rate just consider everything experience towards that goal and don't be embarrassed.

thanks for the encouragement. Ill keep plugging away.

Re the lettuce: it actually worked out great as when I returned I charmingly thanked her for watching my stuff and then with a sly smile teasingly told her the story of going into the restroom to find a piece of lettuce "right here" (pointed at my own chest).. so (with a increasing tease-filled smile) "shame on you for not pointing that out" She responded well (she didnt even notice) and the cute teasing won the opening and her attraction.

As for the follow up rapport.... well...

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Total f*ckin' noob

What happened with the follow up?

... what i said in the first post. Essentially she (seemingly) showed attraction but as I tried to engage her in convo (found out that she's in nursing school, etc...) she just was kind of like a deer in the headlights - the convo felt pretty one sided. As I mentioned I have this experience fairly often regardless of a fairly strong attraction game.

Perhaps my motivations arent clear enough ("what does this guy want?"). Or maybe with my strong personality I'm leading them more than I realize and theyre simply in a daze and not thinking about what to say. Or maybe ....

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Total f*ckin' noob

Focus on sharing a conversation not having it one sided. Have a joke you can share with her, tell a story and ask her to share stories with you "I went skiing in X. Have you ever been skiing?" Simple shit. Get her to open up and move on to playful teasing. Teasing is a powerful tool.