I have problems appearing natural in places I'm not familiar with. Even at times, when I'm somewhat familiar with a place, some random guy will say something like "You look lost." I suppose it can probably be due to my appearance (as to why I look lost), I've been told I have big eyes, but I don't dwell on it.

I used to have a friend who reminded me a lot of Snoop Dogg. Not his looks, but he just had that swagger, that he could walk into any environment and be the coolest dude there. He was a natural, and I'm sure his height may have played a role as he was a little over 6ft tall, because he never learned any pick-up techniques.

Also had another friend (fairly short in height) who could walk into the most posh places and feel right at home. Then again, his family is pretty well-off (as far as I can tell), he went to boarding school, so it's sort of understandable.

Anyway, I usually don't feel too comfortable in certain places. For example, I have no problem going to areas where it's a pretty diverse crowd, but going to, say, a country bar or even a Spanish club (even though I am Latino and can dance a little), I tend to freeze up. I also have problems going anywhere alone, and since most of my friends are married, I just wind up staying home.

I would like to get over this, but I know it requires some inner-game and that takes a bit of time to master. So any recommendations on inner-game would help, but for the time being, I'd like a little advice on how to feel like you belong and "own the place".

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Simple, you have fun.

I usually get myself in a fun mood by making fun of the awkward people around. Nothing wrong with a little harmless roasting of people that you don't know. Make sure they aren't close enough to hear you and that your friends aren't the types to go tell the guy.

It might also help to make like 4 or 5 approaches to random girls on the way to wherever you go to sarge. That way you are warmed up and more comfortable talking to random women.

Hope that helps.

Feel free to pm me for further questions.

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GBTN Seduction Harbor: http://www.glorybethynight.com

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”
― Bruce Lee

Snoop dog? Hey, it's snoop lion now.

If someone is approaching you saying you look lost you obviously look uncomfortable and rigid. Try loosen up when you're out. Do meditation, have a drink or two, talk shit to your friend and have a laugh. Don't rush into full on pick up mode, have fun before you start anything and prep yourself up.

Looking like you own the place is mostly all down to your inner game. You need to work on that. What worked for me at first was just realising how effective positive, alpha body language was and getting comfortable with that which in effect helped my inner game tremendously as people seen me differently and were more respectful. I used to look down a lot, not stand up straight and keep my feet close together. Once I started incorporating alpha postures and got to the point of it being natural I was seen as a confident and interesting guy.

Without effort I was easily established as the leader of the group without even opening my mouth... It's gotten to the point where I feel bad when others try to be seen as the alpha/leader but they're too AFC to understand that you can't just speak louder and be in people's faces to be liked more. It's the image of aloofness, talking to people when you feel they're worth talking to(Read: Choosing who is worth your time -- a bit of arrogance here) and not deviating from leader to entertainer and being consistent in your persona that makes the biggest difference.

Anyway, if you want to be more comfortable work on your posture and mannerisms, basically all the basics of body language. It will get you in the door, you'll be confident in it and you'll get attention without even seeking it.

1. Stand up straight.
2. Hold your head high.
3. Don't look down when you talk to people.
4. Don't be needy when you interact with people.
5. Let others entertain you and not you entertaining them.
6. Scan when you talk to a friend(Look over their shoulder).
7. Have a neutral facial expression but don't be afraid to smile.
8. Don't put other people down it only indicates you have insecurities.
9. If people are assholes to you and try put you down neg them(Yes even if they're guys).
10. Walk slowly and with confidence. When you walk around don't eye everyone up or eye someone from a mile away. If you see an attractive women as you walk past her don't be afraid to make eye contact or let her friends know you were checking her out(As you passed by).
11. Shoot the shit with your buddies.

The main problem I had when I got this down to a T(Women would actively approach me) was my inner game wasn't a true reflection of my outer game. I basically looked the part but didn't have to confidence or ego to play the part. Expect that and don't neglect your inner game, work on being comfortable around women and being able to talk to them at the same time. Infact, for a while there I kept falling off balance where I lacked in one and slowly made up for I lost in the other. Very harsh times calibrating that.

This is why Mystery Method and Gambler's The Natural method go hand in hand. Richard LaRuina's The Natural will teach you everything you need to know about approaching a woman, body language, opening and generating attraction without even saying a word to them, basically becoming the alpha. MM will give you routines you could use but most importantly valuable structure on how to interact with a woman, identifying the high points and low points in a conversation and gauging her interest in you and how to react to a woman and take charge.

As you and redsky mentioned having fun, I recall trying that. One of my problems (I think) was the company I was with. Back before I got married, I hung out with a group of guys who didn't follow any of this PUA advice. From what I could tell, they were just standing around in the club with beers in their hands, staring at everyone. So when I was trying to have fun, I believe (based on what you just wrote) I just wound up making myself look like "the entertainer". Of course, I'm sure there is probably methods I could have applied to counter that, but I wasn't and still not that advanced. Other than that, only thing I can think of is to get a different group of friends to go out with, but that's easier said than done so that's why I hope to be able to get comfortable going out alone.

What is The Natural Method and where can I find it? I feel that's a bit more in tune with what I need. I'm pretty good with women when I have them in my web, the problem I have is luring them to it. I know I could stand to lose a couple of pounds (I suppose I'm skinny-fat) which could help drawing an initial look from women because a lot of times, I feel they just glance right past me. However, I realize even the most blah-looking guy can pull a hot chick. That's kinda why I came up with this thread, I want to learn how to feel like I belong, no matter what the environment is so that I can eventually draw attention and work up the nerve and approach random women.

_________________
"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Ya, a motivated group of friends that know PU doesn't hurt either.

_________________


GBTN Seduction Harbor: http://www.glorybethynight.com

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”
― Bruce Lee

To own the place ... is to believe like you own the place. Talk to everyone in the place ... approach everything to the point that everyone will think you must be the owner of the place.
- Consider the place, that your are at, your party that your are hosting. That you would feel dis respected that others are not having fun ... therefore you do whatever to make it fun for them.
- Don't try to look cool ... if you are the Boss of that place ... if you have higher value than others ... you wouldn't even consider what people think of you ... if you don't care what others think of you ... then you should be comfortable looking silly, embarrassing your self by acting like a fool, being loud were you are almost obnoxious ... because you own the place :p.

Sincerely,

Donston

The Natural: http://www.amazon.com/The-Natural-Effor ... 0062089781

The problem you had with your friends is they were boring and were too busy trying to look cool for everyone else that they wouldn't open up and have fun. It's not your fault, it's theirs. Besides, I find it best to go out with one friend. Groups generally don't work if you're trying to get women as it's more focused on the interaction between the group. So you have a lot of the same bullshit talk about football or other sports going on and not much fun or freedom to do what you want being part of a group. The only benefit to group outings is when there's a bunch of women involved or you're not afraid to leave the group and use them as a base from which you go to and from, making new friends and talking to random women.

Go out one of the nights with a good friend or even someone you hardly know, have a few drinks, go to a club and just have a laugh. You'd be surprised how much fun and how much freedom you'll have with just one person not to mention how good friends you'll become. Get used to this and then head out with them picking up women.