tl;dr: Go to k-close a girl after she shows massive amounts of interest in me and hints she wants to kiss me. When I try to k-close she won't kiss me and says she wants to be friends. Shit test or friendzone?

Should I freeze her out to salvage this?

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Met a girl, talked to her, got her number. Went for Day 2. I didn't chase or close on Day 2. She showed insane IOIs, flipping hair, locking eye contact, smiling, touching. Every single IOI in the book including the most important ones to take note of she shows. She was obviously into me and everyone that seen it thought she was my girlfriend or someone I was with. She was nuts. Forget IOIs I got the vibe and it was just obvious she was into me.

Third meet up alone. I talk to her, she leans in, asks me questions about myself, starts talking about me, cuddles up to me, gets close, and everything. Starts talking about how she misses her mother(Who died recently). I flip subjects, play my game on her and she responds positively. She's leaning in, locking eye contact and being touchy feely.

Walk her home, tell her i'm going out and she should come -- she doesn't -- Walk to her door, go to k-close and she turns her cheek. I go in again. Nothing. Look at her and say "Just friends?" She says "Yes." and smiles.

What happened here? Have I been friendzoned? Did I turn her off by saying I was going out after meeting with her? Or is this a shit test?

How do I flip this? Freeze her out altogether?

From my experience, it sounds like she's just playing hard to get. It may be possible she wants to make you work harder on getting her, but it's possible she just wants you as a friend. Also, if her mother did just pass away, she may just be looking for comfort. I say continue trying to see her and see where things go.

I'm thinking she's playing hard to get. I'm not upset over it just very confused and caught off guard. It was totally out of the ball park. I'm really trying to understand this to learn from it and if i'm actually FZ or if it's a shit test.

How do you handle this situation? I didn't get the LJBF talk, I just tried to kiss her and she kept turning her cheek, letting me try without pulling back. I looked at her and said "Friends?" She looked at me sort of smiling and nodded. I smiled, walked away and didn't look back. She hasn't messaged me(I haven't messaged her either) about it either to say "Hey, sorry about that but I value you as a friend." or any of that bullshit LJBF talk. It's possible she just wants me to fuck off but I doubt it. She's shown intense amounts of interest in me, always comes out if I ask her to(I don't pay for her btw and she knows this) and likes being out with me. Hell, chick even said she wanted to message me sometimes just to see what I was doing but she felt weird about it.

Should I just ignore her and wait for her to contact me?

Looking how to first of all interpret this as if it's a genuine shit test or if she's just weird and not interested despite showing a lot of interest in me. Secondly I want to know how to deal with this either way(Obviously walk away if she's genuinely just not interested -- but why go out with someone if you're not interested in the first place?).

Lol. You may be the first guy in history who put himself in the FZ. Shouldn't have said the "Friends" line. You got some resistance and left. Maybe she was playing hard to get; maybe she doesn't kiss so soon. Typical advice is not brush it off, go back to talking and escalate later. Your "friend" statement put her in a box. What was she supposed to say.."No...boyfriend"..."No...lover"? Go by her actions and have some confidence. She was obviously interested, just didn't want to kiss. Could be a ton of things but don't assume friend zone off the bat, and DEFINITELY don't VERBALIZE it when the only answer she can give would be yes. Never ask a girl on a second date if you're more to her than a friend, because even if she wants to fuck you, what answer can she give? Confident guys know that just because a woman does not want to kiss them doesnt mean she doesn't like them. They just assume she's shy or playing hard to get. Your response tells her you're already assuming she's not attracted to you.

She may not contact you because what you said and how you acted was weird. If it were me, I'd contact her again with something light and get her out again. But she may be turned off by now and lost attraction for you by now. If she responds and eventually comes out, just flirt and escalate. Could be she genuinely wants you as a friend but you saying it doesn't lead to that conclusion.

Yeah, I wasn't really thinking straight. All night she looked as if she wanted me to kiss her and the time before she definitely wanted it to go somewhere. When I went to close her and she stopped me it caught me off. It was totally confusing. I've never had a woman show so much interest then refuse to just kiss.

You're right about boxing her in, there wasn't really much she could reply to with that. That was a very poor play on my part... I think freezing her out would be the best course of action after that. Running back to her, at least so soon, and asking her to hang out after the "friends" comment would only solidify the friendly position. Question is, after the freeze out do I go direct and say "Nope, not interested in being friends" then move on if she only wants to be friends or just continue hanging out with her? Honestly, i'm not interested in a long term solution to this that's safe... I'd rather know sooner and have a higher chance of failure than knowing much later but with a higher success chance.

Anyway, she's been messaging me asking how I am and she enjoyed our night out. I've not replied yet.

I don't know if freeze out is a good play here.. Maybe someone else can offer insight. Right now you're unconfident guy who walked away. You should actively convey its no big deal.

I don't know... I'm fairly certain I played it confident. It was just really weird. I walked with her to her apartment, she got quiet and asked me if I was nervous as we neared her door(I took this to mean she was nervous and knew we would kiss). I asked why would I be nervous and she just said "Anything" as if hinting at going for the kiss. I wasn't nervous, definitely didn't feel nervous at all and I told her I wasn't. I knew I was going to kiss her so why would I be nervous? I tried to kiss her, didn't come across as phased the first time I tried, tried again and didn't look phased then I stopped and grinned at her then said "friends?" and walked away.

I dunno, I think I need more input here. Personally, I think she's playing hard to get but she could just want to be friends. She was extremely flirty with me every time I seen her. Every now and then she would talk about friends and what not but at the same time she was hinting at spending more and more time alone with me while getting drunk and what not. Confusing!!

I don't see the confusion. She was acting interested, wanted to hang out alone. Then you tried to kiss her at the end and she didn't. Maybe she was shy, playing hard to get, didn't want the kiss so soon, maybe you went for it awkwardly (at the END of the date). What I'm saying is a girl rejecting a first kiss attempt tells you nothing. All you know is that for whatever reason, she didn't want to kiss you.

When you go for the kiss at the end, that means that you weren't confident enough to make a move during the date so you take the easy route at the end where you can just walk away. This sounds like more you than her here. Playing it confident is kissing her while she was getting close on the date.

Let me ask you something, EVEN if she just wants to be friends why not continue? Don't you think that you can still get her attracted and turned on? Don't you think that you can change her mind? Not saying to pretend to be her friend, but it's a game. A chick going out with you alone and getting drunk means she's gonna fuck or mess around with you. It's a given. Unless you're repulsive she will. It's a game. I've had chicks reject kisses and reject moves towards sex. Brush it off, keep it light and try again. Keep escalating until she says no and SHE leaves.

It's confusing for me. I played it well, so well I knew I was in there then I went for it after delaying it. I wasn't thinking of playing it for the easy route, I was playing it to make her wait for it. Sexual Tension... At least that's what was in my mind. I have never had someone be so interested then go so cold and not kiss me. This is completely alien for me.

I got a message from her to meet up again alone. I was busy so I told her. Problem now is, if this is a game... I fell for it because i'm thinking a bit too much of her. I'm really tempted to drop her completely. I just don't want to be thinking of a woman like that.

I ignored her, then she started renewing her stuff with pictures and messages for all to see. I see that as her driving for my attention after playing too hard to get.

I can almost guarantee its because you waited until the end to kiss her. Plus it's a kiss, why are you focused on that when you probably could have slept with her that night. You weren't confident because you didn't sexuality escalate during the date. You created a situation where there was a ton of pressure. Chances are good that it's going to go poorly every time you do that.

Escalate, escalate, escalate.

If you had already been kissing and fooling around like you should have been, and then acted like you didn't care if she invited you in or not you probably would have been balls deep and have a girlfriend right now instead of asking questions on a forum. You might be able to salvage this from here but I doubt it.

Arrange to see her again and spike her emotions. Run an escalation ladder, like Neil Strauss' evolution kiss close, or a game frame, or whatever. It doesn't really matter so long as you escalate. It's your job to push the escalation and her job to say no.

Are you a virgin?

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MiikusMaximus
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You will be far more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have.
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Be the man you want to be while living the life you want to live.
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I only have three rules
1. Make It Fun
2. Show Don't Tell
3. Be Genuine

Typically it's good to kiss pretty early on. You definitely put her in a box. Never ask her if you're friends. That's letting her decide the relationship. You're the leader, lead.

My typical strategy is -

1. Meet girl at bar
2. Leave bar to walk to another bar, kiss her en route
3. Get another drink or two
4. Head to sex location (most recently my car, which is funny because it is the middle of winter and I have a three bedroom apartment)
5. Sex

I'm definitely not a virgin. Haha. I've never been in this situation before. Usually I never have a problem closing a girl on dates like this.

I appreciate all the input, it's helped a lot. I may have fucked this up but at least now I can see where I went wrong. 1. Boxed her in. 2. Had it lead up to too much pressure which makes sense as she looked like she wanted to kiss me earlier on.

I'll go see her again, spike her interest, be aggressive with kino and run Neil Strauss' triangular gaze on her.

Her game worked on me. I definitely lost my frame there. I have to pick up my pants and get back into the mentality I had when she was going nuts about me.

Your game is not yet lost.

But as the other guys said, always escalate aggressively most especially when you notice that the girl is super into you. Why? Girls have an ovulation cycle.

When they're super horny in their menstrual cycle, exploit that to your advantage. Once that horniness tapers off (it can go down or up within an hour depending on where they are in their ovulation cycle) then you'll have to escalate at a later date; around 3 weeks.

Girls only play hard to get if you let them. When they're horny and you escalate properly, every resistance that the girl makes is just ceremonial. Read the signs well and you and the girls you're sarging will almost always end up happy.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Well, i'm just going to let this one slide. If she's playing hard to get i'm really not into it. Massive turn off for me. It's quite ridiculous at this point.

Either she's playing hard to get or she's just not that into me.

I was supposed to see her today but she cancelled saying she felt sick. I told her it was "Fine and I wasn't feeling up to it myself. Get back to me when you feel better." She immediately replied asking "Why? Are you busy today?" then sent another messaging saying she would feel better tomorrow. I told her it was a busy week for me anyway and I wouldn't be able to see her tomorrow.

The way I see it is if she's playing hard to get i'm going to win by not playing at all. If she's into me she'll get in touch in a couple of days. If not then I just don't talk to her and move on. Haha.