| I just copied and pasted this from something I just replied to. Same situation. The answer is that if you want a relationship then YES you must start showing her YOU. The thing is that if you haven't been showing her your real self, then you're using your pick up routine thing. The pick up routine thing is going to send signals to her that you want to PICK HER UP. That means the goal is to fuck. Which she obviously is giving you IOI's, which means she's interested. If you show her your real self, chances are it might not work. She's attracted to the sexual innuendo's, which means she's probably not that great of quality chick to begin with. My advice, keep her around, and transition into your more authentic self. If she dips, then you know she just wanted some dick and that she wasn't any good in the long run anyways. If she stays, don't fuck her right away. I'd start showing your more authentic self from the beginning. You always have the pick up routines to fall back on if you ever just want to get laid, but pick up advice is geared towards sex. Until you start to work on your personality in ways that is geared towards a long-term relationship, which you won't probably find much of here, then you will always keep having sex, but falling short in long-term. They're different goals, and you'll have to treat them as different "games".
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Think about it this way. The community does have a lot of advice but a lot of it is geared towards picking women up. That is the goal. Women DO know when you're trying to pick them up, no matter what your thoughts are telling you. Let's face it, it's a consensual thing that she decides to engage in. She KNOWS you're trying to have a sexual relationship with her. So, if you've learned the majority of your game and your behavior through that focus, then when you're around women you're going to be giving off those signals. Yes, you'll sleep with more women than before, but no women is going to invest in a relationship like that. Would you invest in a relationship with a slutty girl who's trying to pick you up? Even if she tried to see you again, and made the effort from that point on, it would always be in the back of your mind that she slept with you really quickly and she's probably not that hard to take away from you. Her sleeping with you says more about her than about you. If she's sleeping around on first, second dates, third dates than it's more about her personality. YOU however are probably going after sex because you're fed this information like "if you can sleep with her then you're out of the friend zone". So, you want to get into bed as quickly as possible because you want to keep her. However, it doesn't work that way. Women think the same thing! If you are "easy", then you'll probably cheat on her. Same goes for her. You might think that because you can attract her, then you can keep her, but if she's got low self-respect then that all goes out the window. It's her, not you. So, if you're easy to get in bed, then it's you, not her in her eyes. Anyways, my advice is you need to stop listening to the gurus, and the forum for a little while to change your relationship with women. If you're always thinking from the lens of "pick-up", then you aren't thinking from the lens of "healthy relationship". Sleeping with her isn't the key. People are abstinent and have long relationships, so it's more about the connection than anything else that makes it "friend" or "lover". If you keep listening to the game, then you'll keep just sleeping with women and building the wrong relationship. Understand your own value. You're worth waiting for, and so is she. Meet the woman, get to know her, understand her, gain experience and memories together, and once that foundation is built then you two can have sex. I just got out of a two year relationship, and I had learned all of the pick up stuff but it was something I fell back on when the relationship needed more of a sexual edge. Pick-up won't cover everything you need to be successful with women, just enough to get you laid, and getting you laid will not keep the women around. You have to start valuing yourself beyond the routines, and quit thinking about what you should do here, and there, and trying to make the right move. It has to start from being natural, and then you can always fall back on what you've learned. There's too many unique situations to be covered by the gurus, and if you are always referring back to their information then you're going to be inflexible. You need to learn how to build relationships that last now, not how to get laid. I'll give you a secret, you'll have to start building a belief system that women are fun to be around, and that you can work with them as individuals, and stop treating them all the same like most pick up teaches. Just remember, the community has helped you become successful with women sexually and that's great, but your new journey will have to be forged yourself, because it will come from your authentic problem solving self. You'll have to learn to trust yourself again, and your decision making.
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