1st Date Do I Pay?



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Mrwire
 Post subject: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 8:30 pm 
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I'm taking a girl out bowling and was wondering if I should pay or not. I was thinking about making the gesture to pay and if she allows me to ill do it but if she says something about it then we can split, does that seem like the right move? Thanks.
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n2thevoid
 Post subject: Re: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 8:59 pm 
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Yes. If you want a 2nd.
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Gunfighter28
 Post subject: Re: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:27 pm 
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Yes pay just pick up the tab like its no big deal. The reality is dating costs money. I read some pua bullshit that says its alpha to make the girl pay her own bill. True to a certain extent that you don't want a girl that's milking you and when that happens stand up for yourself, but I can't think of anything less manly or of a turnoff than sqaubling over who pays what pick up the tab like its nothing, but if you end up dating this girl make sure there's a balance, and that she's not milking you. Just my 2 cents good luck!
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n2thevoid
 Post subject: Re: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:58 am 
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Paying for a girl's meal, particularly on the first date makes her feel special. Why wouldn't you want to do that? You only stand to pedestalize her if your behaviours come from a place of insecurity (e.g., wanting to placate them to win them over).
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Il-Cavalieri
 Post subject: Re: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:34 pm 
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I would.
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AFCToTheMax
 Post subject: Re: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:16 pm 
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Pick up the tab. If she say's she'll chip in you can tell her that you pay this and she can buy you a drink later.

If you pay and she doesn't say anything (like a thank you) then just make a note and next time make sure it's 50-50.
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ConfidenceMatters
 Post subject: Re: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:36 pm 
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These guys have their hearts in the right place but I'm going to give you some great advice:

Tell her upfront to go dutch with you (i.e. for you two to split the bill). It's the first date and it shows a few things:

-You're not a chump/doesn't let other take advantage easily
-You're not sure how things will pan out between the two of you (which is a tacit challenge for her to qualify herself)
-You're good with money
-You believe in equality (haha)

I've been dating my girlfriend for about 4 months now. We almost always keep things pretty even.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
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TheFury
 Post subject: Re: 1st Date Do I Pay?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 7:00 pm 
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Quote:
I'm taking a girl out bowling and was wondering if I should pay or not. I was thinking about making the gesture to pay and if she allows me to ill do it but if she says something about it then we can split, does that seem like the right move? Thanks.
I always pay on a first date. Many experts disagree but I think in most circumstances you look like a cheap bastard if you try not to pay. You can let her split it I guess if she offers, but I mean, it's freaking bowling, how much can it possibly cost?

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