What's up everyone? So I heave a dilemma on my hands. I have been talking this girl for almost 2 weeks now and we have gone on our first date which went great and ended with making out(starting it off slow) and we made plans to hang out again on Thursday. Last few nights we have talked on the phone for almost 2 hours each night about each others lives and what we expect from each other relationship wise. She just got out of a relationship, but says "she really likes me, which is kinda scary". Anyway we texted throughout today like it was normal and during our phone call tonight she drops the call without saying anything and doesnt respond to my texting asking if everything is alright. Now here's the reason I made the thread, is this a shit test or is there some hidden agenda I am missing? Do i just not try to get ahold of her even though we already made plans? Some replies would be much appreciated, thanks.

What does this mean?

“She just got out of a relationship, but says "she really likes me, which is kinda scary".”

Is she talking about her ex boyfriend (assuming “she” was a typo)?

The call drop is definitely not a shit test. If it is, it’s a cruel, shitty one that I would judge her for. I’d say, at this stage, it’s a combination of getting out of a relationship recently + everything between you and her is moving very fast + MAYBE still unresolved issues with the ex.

If you are in fact trying to seriously date this girl, slow it down a little bit. She could be feeling overwhelmed or preoccupied.

If you made plans ,she has an obligation to either show up, or tell you ahead of time that she won’t make it. It’s the human thing to do, thus its not strange if you ask her about whats going on. Text/call her and finalize the meetup, if she doesn’t answer or anything, you have no choice but to move on anyways.

Good luck man.

I had told her I wasnt exactly looking for a relationship but if it go to the point where it was mutual between us i would be open to exploring it. Im just lost I guess, it might be the ex bf but the guy sounded like an asshole with drug issues so I dont see why go back to that, but I understand the lingering feelings on her part. I'll just check with her tomorrow and hopefully she gives me something if not it is shitty, but thanks for the tip.

yeah man lingering feelings with an ex is never good. The best thing to do is give her space... if she can get over him then more power to you... but don't get too caught up in the shit because emotionally she's probably all over the place right now. Don't try to force anything, she'll come to you when she's ready. Meanwhile I wouldn't focus on just her... go out and date other women, you don't wanna get stuck with oneitus.

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I just would like to know the reason for it. I accept it if its for ex bf reason but just to ditch is confusing.

In the end, the reason is that you are NOT a priority. Whether that was because of you, or her, or her ex, you have to accept that. If you were a priority, she wouldn’t leave you hanging like that.

When you can start shrugging your shoulders at stuff like this, is when you are in the right state of mind. You said it yourself, you want to “see how things go”….and this is a good indicator of “how its going.”

You will find out eventually “why” so don’t stress it, it’s a waste of your time.

Who cares why... Her battery could of died, she could of broke the phone, etc...


No matter what happen; do not reach out to her again.. Theres no point; you've done your part. Now take a step back so she can take a step forward.

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Joey literally said exactly what I was gonna say. She could have dropped her phone, and it broke all sorts of things, but like Joey said now let her come to you.

I made the AFC move of calling right back after and it rang a few times before being denied, but I will go with the last 2 posts' advice and wait it out if nothing happens then on to the next.

Honesty is great but if you are going to lie about something, this is it. "I'm not looking for a relationship" is a great way to really lower your odds of anything with a woman, EVEN if she doesn't want a relationship! The reason is that it is very unattractive to a woman to tell her all you really care about is having sex with her. If you are going to go this route, better to do it from a position of power, i.e. after you have sex with her first.

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