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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:29 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:41 am
Posts: 93
Location: UK
Once again I am calling upon the PUA Gods for wisdom and guidance.
So all was going well. Came to University, Got called Hot by 3/4 of the girls I lived with. The other one I had a connection with and people thought we were interested in one another (which I slightly was). One of the 3/4 who said I was hot I slept with multiple times and got on really well with but broke it off after she started getting very strong feelings for me which I didn't feel it was right to take advantage over.
Then another one of the 3/4 girls who called me hot I get on really well with and I make her laugh a lot and when I lead the group through a crowd at a nightclub she normally follows behind me and holds my hand whilst I lead and I got other IOI's from her (like looking at me a lot), but now she is spending a lot of time in the room of another guy we live with and she apparently likes him (according to someone else). She doesn't come into my room alone much (except to watch football) and we never really have deep, meaningful conversations. I'm confused; all of these IOI's then another minute its the other guy, What the hell?
Also, I am mostly seen as the leader of the group but I feel like I am not very close to anyone because all I seem to do is lead and make decisions, crack jokes and be funny. I don't have meaningful conversations with anyone except one of the other guys I live with who everyone goes to with their problems or when they need a chat. How can I become more like that guy? I'm normally like that guy in other social groups.
I'm just often Jealous and want to be more valuable and close to the group in situations where we don't need someone to take charge

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 02, 2013 6:47 am
Posts: 56
What you lack is Connection ability with your close ones, I would suggest the following things:

1)Give genuine sincere compliments about something they do, something they wear, something you genuinely like about them.

2)As the leader, protect your group, show them you really care about them, and that they should feel safe with you, that you won't let nothing happen to them.

3)Don't criticize, don't focus on what they do bad, but instead, inspire good feelings in them, make them feel good in your presence, make them miss you when you're not there.

4)Care about them, genuinely, if you see them down, ask them what's wrong, ask them what can you do for them, be a good friend and care.

5)Be a good listener, inspire them to talk about themselves.
2 key points for this according to studies:
A)It's required more eye contact with women than with men in order to have a feeling of connection, too much eye contact with males could make them feel threatened and agressive. So when listening, look in women eyes more than normal, and in males, slightly more, but not all the time.
B)When you move your head from an up-down slow motion inspires people to continue talking, as they perceive you more interested and caring, doing it faster makes them feel as if you expect them to finish talking.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:50 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 6:46 pm
Posts: 729
Simple...

I was always that party guy who leaded the group and made funny jokes and everyone would laugh and liked me. Problem is, I figured that I had to LISTEN more. My sense of humor got to a point that I'd joke about everything, which was wrong. Just start spending time with each one of them alone and talk about your life, ask them about theirs. They'll eventually start opening up and coming to talk to you when they need someone. Remember, never be negative, always cheer them up.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:31 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:41 am
Posts: 93
Location: UK
Thanks guys, This all sounds like great advice and I'm going to put it into practice asap.

The girl who gives me IOI's and spends a lot of time in the other guys room was in my room 2 nights ago (when the other guy was asleep) and we had a pretty good open chat; wasn't full of sharing BIG secrets, but maybes a few smaller ones and was serious and talked about her ex before Uni and spoke about her feelings for the other guy (She does like him). We also had a laugh and I tickle fought her and used her as a pillow and stuff.
Then last night as I was in bed she came into my room accompanied by another guy housemate we live with (Not THE other guy, guy 2). She tried to play fight me a couple of times and failed as I just kept tickling her again. She then fell asleep on my bed as I started playing with her hair so I wrapped my blanket round her until it was time for her and the dude to go. I was going to carry her back to her bed but accidentally woke her up in the process.
Tonight... She was in the other guys room watching TV, then when he went to sleep she came into my room and joined the group watching a film and went to bed shortly after it when some of the group was still staying awake.

I'm confused and any additional advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again for the great advice so far.

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Even if it takes until the day I die, I will be able to pick up girls.


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