| After browsing PUA forums several times, I've finally decided to turn the tables and hopefully make something out of myself (in terms of PUA). I'm an 18 year old guy from Norway. In terms of looks I would say I'm a bit above average, but in my social sphere, probably average. I have not had a lot of experience with girls and I don't have many girl friends. As for my scene and surroundings, I recently moved in with two friends for studies and my social sphere revolves around them, and our friends from our home town. We go to parties about twice a week and meeting good looking girls is absolutely no problem. There are both those that I don't really know and those that I've known for a fair amount of years, but never really connected with.
The reason why I'm talking about my "social sphere", is because it has been sort of a mental barrier for me. Stereotypically, I would describe myself as the nerdy guy, who got among the "cooler kids" late. Some years ago, when I first went to parties and got acquainted with the girls (who are still in my social sphere), I guess I was quite awkward. I doubt I made any good first impressions, and as I've slowly improved my 'standing' with them over the years, I've never hooked up with any of them. The reason why I feel this barrier is specifically in this sphere, is that I have felt much more confident in the past with completely different people in other places (e.g. family vacation some time ago, where I got lucky).
In this sphere, guys don't really recognise me as having a chance (this is a big problem when I need a wingman) and girls don't look upon me as someone they could hook up with. As a result my self confidence is quite rubbish and since this summer I have practically given up. I go to parties, have quite a lot of fun, but while I talk to girls and get along with them. I don't even consider the scenario of getting somewhere as I both put them on a pedestal and feel like I have too little experience compared to the other guys.
Now, I finally want to start actively doing something about this. I understand that getting with the girls I've known for some years will be very hard, since they don't really look at me in that way at all, but there are also "new" girls that I meet quite often at parties, and my aim is to focus on them. The problem I have had with the new girls, is that I've sort of come to terms with the way the girls I know look at me, and therefore the mental barrier quickly extends to new girls when the people around me are more or less the same except those few new people.
I think a starting strategy could be:
- Strive to becoming more alpha and stable, and thus improve my value among the other guys. I believe that once they look upon me as someone who has a chance, girls might give me one.
- Work on my inner game and self confidence, while my "social sphere" has been a focus in this topic. I know that I have to work on myself a lot more too.
As an ending, I would like to say that this post has taken me quite a lot of time to write, and while I kind of see that the post is a mess, I think it just reflects that I'm a mess (when it comes to these things). Writing this post, is at least the first time I have actively done something to improve. It has also helped me analyse my situation by writing it out. Hopefully you guys can pick up on some things and help me too. If any clarifications should be made, please ask!
EDIT: Here's a bit more concrete call for advice: this coming weekend I am going to a party. A lot of the girls will be the ones I've known for a long time and never gotten anywhere with, however I am quite certain there will be some girls that I don't know very well and could try to get to know. Saying 'Hi' and talking to them is not a problem, but do you have any tips on how I could make it more 'sexual' or challenges I could take on?
|
CHAT