So my ex called me a week ago (and gave me a very clear schedule with which to make plans, which I ignored - and I think annoyed her) - she has a boyfriend, but apparently she was dreaming about me recently, and also saw I was doing amateur comedy nights at a comedy club and was excited about that.

She wanted to meet up for the first time in months.

Now, I'd date her again, but I don't want to just become her ex-boyfriend buddy pal.

How do I avoid that fate?

I broke up with her initially.

By fucking her. Buddy/Pals don't fuck, fuck Buddy's do.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

mm I understand that, i've been through hell on hot water with a girl once to the point I stopped all contact with her for 7 months since she developed a rotten attitude but she began to miss me, I was still on the defense so I methaphorically brought her to her knees, made her apologise and promise not to do sh*t like that again, she did that and things have been pretty dandy since (We're just friends though, dating her again would be like digging up a dead person and expecting them to be the same) In fact I love being the douchebag for a chance once in a while, seems no matter how mean I am to her she doesn't want to lose me as a friend XD I guess it really depends on what YOU want from her? Do you feel it's a bad idea to see her again? Remember that we, the males, should always make these choices and not women and there is always the possiblity she's making the dream shite up and plotting some sort of revenge against you, why would she want you when she's already got a BF? To try to make you jealous or something, something fishy going out there man but its your decision and your ex, you make the choices

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Why ask a girl generic and boring questions like 'How are you, where you from?' when you can ask "Whats the craziest thing you've done, what was your first kiss like?"

And just ignoring her boyfriend situation? How do I escalate in a situation like that? (I can't even believe I am asking this question. I literally made out with a girl with a boyfriend in the last week, and nearly dragged her to my car to fuck her, but for some reason, if I care about a girl, doing these things seems impossible)

If you didn't want to fuck her you wouldn't be here.

Clearly she isn't interested in playing a jolly game of chutes & ladders.

If your impenetrable code of ethics won't 'let' you fuck her. then don't hang out with her.

Unless she is married, she is single. Obviously she isn't attracted to this guy enough to remain loyal, as is likely she won't with you either.

You ask "How do I escalate in a situation like that?" in a nut shell tells me you WANT to fuck her, no?

Escalate just as you had with back seat girl. Only this time follow through.

Ex's are Ex's for a reason, it never means they are not fun in bed.

Get sexual right away, you'll have your answer.

Or get out the canasta set, tea and cookies, end your sex life forever, become her emotional tampon for eternity.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I'm pretty sure the boyfriend was initially just an attempt to try to make me jealous after I ended things, but I got all sad and butthurt about it. She was pretty hooked before. Pretty sure she was just waiting out me being a little bitch.

It's likely she has fucked at least one other dude in the interim.

So, what is YOUR, plan of action? Goal? What the fuck do you want out of this? Re-Girlfriend her? Just sex? A video game partner?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Nah, pretty sure it's a situation of I'm the only guy she'd cheat on/dump her current guy for situation (at least, that she knows right now, I'm sure she could eventually find another one too). She's typically pretty monogamous, but I sorta fell in love with her (and her with me) and broke up with her and told her to go date someone else, because I was worried about settling down and thought she wanted to get married IMMEDIATELY (which she doesn't).


Not sure her buying temperature is high anymore though - I waited a week, made plans, and she flaked on them.

She wrote a big long paragraph about how she was sick that night and it had to have been the chicken the next day. All I responded was, "Ewww, yuck."

Still unclear on YOUR goals with her, but if you still want to fuck her, you need to ramp up the sexual tension before hand.

THAT will eliminate any flaking. A woman with enough sexual tension damping her panties will crawl over a barbed wire, muddy minefield to get that dick.

You did alright blowing off her 'paragraph' flake, if she went to that much trouble to explain, it's likely bullshit.

I would have taken the opportunity, to tease her hard about having 'the shits'. Just like a locker room buddy.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Still unclear on YOUR goals with her, but if you still want to fuck her, you need to ramp up the sexual tension before hand.

THAT will eliminate any flaking. A woman with enough sexual tension damping her panties will crawl over a barbed wire, muddy minefield to get that dick.

You did alright blowing off her 'paragraph' flake, if she went to that much trouble to explain, it's likely bullshit.

I would have taken the opportunity, to tease her hard about having 'the shits'. Just like a locker room buddy.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Still unclear on YOUR goals with her, but if you still want to fuck her, you need to ramp up the sexual tension before hand.

THAT will eliminate any flaking. A woman with enough sexual tension damping her panties will crawl over a barbed wire, muddy minefield to get that dick.

You did alright blowing off her 'paragraph' flake, if she went to that much trouble to explain, it's likely bullshit.

I would have taken the opportunity, to tease her hard about having 'the shits'. Just like a locker room buddy.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I'd like to re-girlfriend her.

And she's currently on a trip to another state with her current bf, so it may have been something as simple as she didn't want to potentially fuck up her situation before a planned trip. Or maybe she's just gotten a bit colder.

It seems like building sexual tension would be difficult pre-meeting.

I have no idea why that fucker posted 3 times? WTF? Anyway.

The trip could have had play in her decision making, who the fuck knows sometimes.

But if she was hot to fuck you, it wouldn't have been of ANY consequence to her.

It seems like building sexual tension would be difficult? Tough shit! With out it you'll be spinning your wheels in mud for a long time Brosuf!

Do you know how?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Well, one big issue before when I tried to get back with her was that she felt I just wanted back in her pants/was jealous of the other guy.

As I said, I THINK she was hot to fuck me a couple weeks ago (she made her schedule sound incredibly free, she did some future event projection about taking a comedy club class with me, etc), and started liking and commenting on everything I posted on FB. But I waited like a week to respond to her. She told me she was wasn't free at all this week, so I'd either have to meet her last Thursday, or wait.

So I made plans for last Thursday, but knew she had a prior engagement that usually takes her until 9 PMish. Which was fine by me. Well she claimed it was taking longer than it should the night of, to which I responded, "Ok", and then she sent the sick thing the next day, which I got to the day after that, with the "eww yuck".

My thought process was that if she's flaking on me, I'm not going to respond to her much.

I was going to call her late last night after I got done performing at the comedy club, but I checked her FB real quick, and noticed she was in Chicago with her boyfriend, and that perhaps it might be a poor idea to call then.


And no, in this scenario (and to some extent, text game in general), I don't know a good way to escalate. I can do it to some extent, but not a ton. I'm WAY more comfortable with girls in person than over text.

I would have said; The other guy doesn't mean shit to me. But yes I would very much sleep with you again, and I am going too, you know we are good at it.

Don't put so much stock in what they SAY!
Good, your comfortable in person, that's fantastic, most guys suck at building sexual tension. In fact, most guys don't know sexual tension when it's staring them in the face, and they drop the ball.

But in your -and many- situations, she isn't there, so you think all I have to do is get her to you, and her panties will drop faster than a new fall sitcom.

But you need to get her THERE.

SO, you need to create sexual tension with words...

Or the lack of them. (Implied innuendo)

I have, and can make a woman cum, with just words alone. EVEN (haters) while text messaging.

Here is some things/tips to remember when building sexual tension with words.

1. TIMING. Although once you get the ball rolling this becomes less important. I find the best place to start, is her assumed bed time.

2. ABILITY, to interpret her feelings/mood.

3. YOU, Your frame, you set the frame from the START.

The simplest way to start is with a silly game, girls love to play games obviously, let them.

I have passed this along many times, and still use it.

The 'In Bed' Game.

Once you get rolling you will see how simple this is.

You: "We can chat, but we're going to play a game while we do okay?"

Her: "Sure I love games."

Rules are simple, at the end of each sentence you MUST ad the words....'In Bed'

Examples: "To be mature is to accept imperfections" ...in bed.

"There is fame in your future" ...in bed.

"'I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.'" ...in bed.

"No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere" ...in bed.

By just a few messages in you'll be at the point of "What are your wearing....'in bed?'

And transition to VERY sexual.

This is just a very basic example, but it WORKS LIKE FUCKING MAGIC!

If she gets shitty or bucks you straight away, blow it off as a joke, AND STOP. Save it for better TIMING.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.