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This post is for all the newcomers to PU. What we are never taught and can only experience.
There is an enormous amount of material available to teach us guys how to become awesome seducers. However, I have found that we are never really introduced to certain facts that can derail our development in psychological and emotional terms.
What I’m referring to is what to do when things go wrong.
Here’s an example: Me, im 38, was with the same chic for 18 years, broke up 2 years ago, fluttered around with several girls for 15 months and never f closed any of them. Then I discovered the Game.
What I expected from immersing myself in the material and lifestyle was lots of easy lays from the start. What I have discovered is I had a lot more problems than I first thought.
The continuum in PU is pretty much like this – Open, build comfort, escalate, close.
Many of us would have experienced a number of specific issues at each of these major junctions, and would have needed to figure out how to overcome them.
For me, Approach Anxiety wasn’t too much of a problem, so I’d talk to girls at clubs, stores or even on public transport. My first lesson was that I could open, and then I would struggle to keep them interested. So off to the forum I’d go looking for advice on conversation skills. Once I was comfortable keeping girls in a conversation, I started asking for numbers. Off to the forum to figure out the best way to number close.
What I hope you guys reading this are seeing, is that even though we know the major milestones, it’s the in-between or sub steps within each milestone that need to be experienced in order to fully understand what to do. This takes time and lots and lots of patience as there in inherent variability in PU.
To highlight this reality I will use my most recent disappointment in my game.
I was buying some Hugo Boss cologne at a store when a HB9.5, we shall call N, serves me. After around 15 minutes of banter (using some canned and original material, eliciting her relationship status and so on) I finalise my purchase and nervously asked for her number, and scored a win!
Using some of the text game theory on the forums, I text her an hour later, then later in the evening to which we bantered some more. It was over a month later when we finally caught up for a quick coffee one Saturday morning. The following week we have our first date night, dinner, pool and (yep you guessed it) using a line from the forum “I feel like listening to some music, want to come to my place for a while?” she agrees – another win and this now puts me in some unfamiliar territory. I’ve never pulled a new girl to my place and don’t know what to do next!!!! So I did nothing…..
Thinking back, I now realise that I didn’t have a game plan from end to end – open to f-close.
All I had was enough knowledge and experience to go from open to organise a date, once there I was fucked!
Sadly, N gave me a total of 3 months before she moved on. Saw her a few times after this, and each time I now realise I still had no game plan to seduce her! (I also broke my leg a week after our first date, and pretty much used that as an excuse not to escalate. Damn you “Fear of Rejection”!!)
The message I’m trying to get across is to be patient with yourselves. Ask lots of questions; think not only about your most immediate issue, but also what happens when you cross that bridge - what comes next. Had I thought out in advance what I should do if N came back to my place that night, perhaps I would have been able to attempt some escalation and f-close.
So much of this lifestyle requires us to be bold and strong. However no matter how hard we try, we will encounter girls with bitch shields, cock blockers, that give us shit tests, give fake numbers, start text/calling then break off communication, flake on dates, go on dates and resist our physical advances, allow us to get physical and then say no to sex and worst of all when you actually like a girl enough, she’ll ditch you and break your heart (this is usually the girl you have oneitis for).
Just remember this, each time you encounter one of these awful parts of PU, it’s a challenge for you to be prepared for next time. These experiences with toughen you up too.
Don’t lose heart that you have too much to learn or didn’t N, K or F-close. Your first successful F-Close will feel more rewarding if you keep moving forward, try new material and re-use the stuff that does work for you (this will have a positive cumulative effect on your confidence), than if you give up and settle for whatever girl comes your way.
So PLAN AHEAD – 2, 3 or 4 steps ahead of where you are now, It might just score you an F-close with your own personal N!
Mixar
I wrote two articles about these similar issues:
The first talks about how people simply refuse to escalate and their problem f-closing has more to do with not taking the shot when it is there than actual "technical" problems
http://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/w ... ng-take-it
and the second are 6 tips on how to get a girl back to your place which is often the biggest hurdle to the f-close.
http://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/6 ... your-place_________________
http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...
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