i have asked this question some time back..as a kid i had self esteem issues because i was never loved and got abused..i believed i deserved that SPAM because i was a horrible person..pick up has given me value..made me understand that it was not my mistake that i got treated that way...i can safely say i am better off in terms of how i feel about myself now than before i got introduced to pick up..but still some of my insecurities resurface..how can i get rid of at times my weak frame and live in my own reality nd be outcome independent?

Developing your own reality won't come overnight. Don't pay attention to those "1 weird trick" banners on the site. Finding yourself and who you are with women will take years, not months, and there will be pain involved.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

what should i do to find who i am then?

I personally went through a long phase of being emo and trying to find myself, and I'm not saying that in a harsh way - I needed that time to root through my own issues. If you seriously want to find yourself though, stop trying to find yourself and start trying to be useful.

This might help:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-tru ... er-person/

If you're not ready to be that utilitarian about life yet, then I'd suggest counselling. I did it for a long time. It's important to be listened to, especially if you've been abused.

And finally, you're asking me, who ultimately doesn't know. Finding YOU is something that only you can do, as it's a unique exploration. But if you have creative outlets like music or writing or photography or anything like that then throw yourself into them. Those things are very good.

I'd say the most important thing is to believe in yourself and to believe that you DESERVE to influence the world around you. A lot of times the shots are called by people with no special qualifications who just BELIEVE that they deserve to call the shots. Why should they have all the fun? Why should the outcomes be determined by them? Why not you?

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

So many ellipses.

Watch Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk on confidence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc


I've met Amy through a paper I wrote on impression management and done research on similar concepts she talks about in the video. It works and it's the best way to change your frame.

If you have any questions, and decide to leave off senseless rhetoric on how you've had a tough childhood, feel free to hit me up on PMs.

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A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

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