So there's this girl that I hit on randomly about a year ago.

At the time she had a boyfriend. We made FB friends and exchanged numbers, but she made it clear she was attached - that's fine.

Well, fast forward to about 2 months ago.

I, newly single, run into her while bar hopping with a buddy.

I don't recognize her at first. She's like, "Wait, don't I know you?"

And she proceeds to talk to me about who I am and who she is. I remember her, and look her up - still have her number in my phone.

She makes it very clear that she is single now. I tell her I'll call her the next day.

I do, no response.

A couple months go by, I decide to reopen her again. I call her again.

She doesn't respond, but does respond with a text of, "Who is this?"

I tell her who it is over text, she says, "Oh hey! How are you?" and we talk a bit - she's pretty responsive with texts, but they're all very short. I ask her what she's up to, and she says she's in another state. I tell her I'll text her in a bit when she's back in town.

About a week goes by after that (yesterday) and I text her again - this time I'm very direct and I'm like, "I'm going to cut the shit and invite you out - how about sushi and beer at [restaurant]". She responds incredibly politely, with a paragraph saying that she wants to thank me for inviting her (and for being straight forward), and she'll get back to me tomorrow (today). Obviously, she hasn't yet texted me today, though there's still a few hours. But my expectation is no response.

It seems like she's blowing me off, but in the most polite way possible? I'm used to a girl just not responding when she's not interested, so I'm wondering if maybe there's some interest level here, and if so, how to use it. This is probably the hottest girl I've gotten the number of (in the top three), and she was pretty awesome in other ways too (smart, funny) - so she'd be a great girl to meet up with.

My guess about her behavior is that she is inexperienced with men (which seems odd - she's young, but not THAT young - like 22 and very attractive - so I would expect she has had a significant amount of experience) and is trying to reject me, but doesn't know a good way to do it.

Shes not interested.

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Tragic.

No way to recover I'm assuming? My buddy suggested hail marying every now and again.

Treat her like a long fuse and send her a "ping" every couple of weeks or so. I woudn't expect much, but you never know.

Hey dude,


Its highly likely that she's just met another dude who has her attention now. Unless you're coming across exciting and adventurous it'll be tough to pull her attention for long. You're just another guy trying to "buy her dinner" - she gets those offers a lot if she's hot.

I'd say give her one last call tonight and if she is unresponsive turn this one loose.

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Hrm, I'm getting suggestions for slow play as well as push and call her.

Not sure what to decide.

I do agree that I haven't hooked, but the fact that she isn't totally unresponsive makes me think she's at least potentially interested.

I like the other guy hypothesis. That seems likely.

If you were a girl and wanted to fuck you, wouldn't you find a way to contact you?

She is giving the polite rejection thing, move on bud.

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Yeah, I have to say, I never really agree with that thought process.

"She will find a way to fuck you"

No, she won't. That is your job, to make the deed happen, including managing the girl's desire.

I frequently have girls move in and out of desire for me, depending on my behavior and their situation. The goal should perhaps to be attractive to all girls, all of the time, but that's pretty unrealistic.

In my experience, whether or not a girl hangs out with you depends heavily on what you say, and how you say it, especially when the girl doesn't really know you.