Alright, so here is my story so far. I had great time with 2 girls so far. I was mr. social guy, and after that, I was mr. comfort guy (learned it by Richard La Ruina), and later we had sex.

Now, here is the thing, I actually had very good time with those 2 women, especially with the last one, and we had our deep connection together. I learned more about her life, and personality.

We went to her place(being drunk), we cuddle together nothing fancy. I thought myself maybe I should just be a gentleman with her and not having sex, since I kinda started to like her. Her room was really warm, and she told me she is going to take off her pants, and she took off, and I asked her if it's okey if I could take off my shirts and pants as well? Since it was hot for me as well. She told me that I could whatever I wanted. I told her that I don't want to have sex with her or anything, not until we can know each other better, and she did not say anything, but nodded her head, but you know... when a man and a women is together in bed, things happen. I asked her that if she wanted to have sex, and she did not respond except by shaking her booty at my mushroom tips. I asked her if she like it hard and rough, and she said yes, so we had out moment togheter.

I wasn't aggressive with her, because she lives in a student apartment which is not really good place since the building doesn't have good isolation of sounds, so I didn't wanted to be aggressive, because I was thinking at her side that it would be really awkward for her if someone knew what happened.

When we had our time, I went home. I wanted to meet her later that day, but she said no, since she was sick, and well.. she was sick when we met, so she couldn't lie. Next day I told her I wanted to go to her place, and bring her some food, since it's important to eat if you are sick, so I brought sometihng to her.

When I saw her, I was really happy, and I did hold her around, but she didn't hold me anything. She did just sitted on her bed like a doll, and was kinda sick, but I could see something was wrong, like she was confused or something.

I asked her what she have been thinking about our relationship so far, and she said she was scared of me. She didn't understand why I was so nice to her. She told me she is actually a bad person which I don't understand sometimes women likes to be an offer for some reason? she told me she is not good person, and I told her like what? she told me she cannot come anything up right now. The reason she is scared of me is that we didn't talk anything so much about me that night. It was more about her, plus all of her ex boyfriend or guys she has met has been nice to her for beneficial reason, but I was different.

I asked her if she wanted me to back off? and she said yes, so I did back off for couple off days, and I contacted her again. I asked her if she wanted to meet up again? She said no, because she has her moment she likes to be alone, even her friends (don't know if it's just a stupid excuse or not), so I said alright, and tried to be friendly. We did exchange a bit facebook message, or text message, nothing much. I asked her again in couple of days if she wanted to meet to grab something to eat? she said no, because she is poor, and I told her I could treat her a meal, and she said she doesn't like people to treat her or anything. I said it's alright, but she still doesn't wanted to meet me, so our text messages startet to faint a little bit, until now we don't talk so much each other, and I want to meet her face to face, and be around with her.

Either way, I thought myself I need to back off maybe a week or something and contact her again. It's like 2 step back, 1 step forward. I don't want to be pushy, and maybe I gave myself as a high value person to much for her.


I thought myself maybe I am being to nice to the girl? Maybe I went to fast to know this person? Maybe our sex sucked, because I wasn't aggressive? Maybe she just wanted one night stand?

I need to learn a lesson of here. I also had something similiar problem with the first girl as well.

I am not giving up to get the girl back again. I think it is as a challenge, and I need to be smart and clever. I know it's hard, but it's not impossible.

Anyone knows what to do on this situation?




I

Anyone guys?

Number of reasons.

- you didn't fuck her when she put sex on a plate for you.
- you wanted to determine the "relationship" too soon which scared her.
- she is low self asteem.

Solution:
- fuck her when its on a plate to you.
- don't DTR talk till later down the line.
- go for high asteemed girls.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

I did fuck her. What is DTR? So the solution is to fuck off her? I know girls which has low self asteem can be stimulated from negative in positive in somehow. What you think?

Yes you said you fucked her.

But when she is getting in bed with you, and then you start playing games, could turn her off.

DTR = determine the relationship.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

What games? I didn't have any hidden agenda by trying to trick her. Maybe I gave myself to much, and being "nice guy" which scared her.

What would do in this situation to fix it up? I haven't talked to her for a week. I thought maybe I should call her, and ask her out (hopefully if she is willing to), and clear something about our DTR, and not scaring her?

I see there is people who have been watching my thread here. I appreciate if someone could share their thoughts and theories

main thing I have noticed with this thread and alot you said, is you made it alot of yes no questions, do you this do you that instead of making more open ended questions, like instead of do you want to hang out again. should have done more Im off on these days lets go do this. Don't keep giving the girl a multiple choice test, because no one likes tests.

the main reason for this, is it comes of like your not sure what you want to do. It almost makes the girl feel like shes leading the (whatever it is you two have) and when girls get that power at the beggining of any romance they almost always run away with it.

not trying to be rude, cause your topic sounds like your asking if you should punish her? if thats the case right now this girl has most of the power she won't see any freezing out as punishment. Instead I would work on your questions game

examples
Do you want to have sex - "If only you knew the things running through my head I want to do to you" (sin)

do you want me to back off - I know somethings bothering you and when you feel you want to talk about it I will be here, then immediately after this do something else. <This is not for early on only when alot of distance is given from the girl.

do you want to hang out later - "I am doing (x amount of things) on (y amount of days) come with me" < you can clean these things.

basically what you need to learn to do is take your "what do you want to do statements" (IE: yes no questions) and change them to "open ended statements <string theory,push and pull

I really appreciate your help!

Well, you are right... I was thinking a bit about being hard to get guy, since she didn't wanted to contact me.

What you are saying is that she doesn't look at me as a leader (male dominate), but trying to play a game which she might be confused?

I haven't talked to her for a week now, and personally I was thinking to call her, and step up as a man and say something like:

"Hey! How is it going? Haven't heard you for a while. Thought I wanted to give you a call and hear how it is going. I want to meet you on Friday, if that's oki? I am busy, because of x (school, travel whatever)."

Or would it be more wise to ask if she have time and want to meet up today?

Should I actually confess that how I felt our DTR when I meet her, or through the phone?

Honestly, I really suck at coming up with open question which could be friendly, or lead the situation in control.

dont ask if its ok, never give her the option of a yes or no, if what you want to say asks a question dont say it

Alright, so instead of I want to meet you friday, if that's oki? I will just say let's meet on Friday. or I could say I want to meet you today.

In other word, I need to feel secure and lead the way, right?

But honestly when Pebble said she has she is low self asteem. How should I handle this situation? I need to reconsider being leader vs taking consideration, or I might just scare her, if you know what I mean.

you still want to be leader, the thing about taking her consideration is not over reacting to her saying no's. Shes is still gonna exspect action on ur point you just have to make sure you don't come off as an annoying promdate every 5 minutes "I just wanna touch your boobs and I dont want no shit"

Her insecurities are hers, she doesn't need you fixing her

It's ok to be patient with her, but dont turn it into you treading bread crums with every decision.

no matter what they say women want to feel like you want them

Im no PUA, but maybe she wasn't impressed with the sex? I used to have this issue, sex once, then flake. You gotta fuck the shit out of her! No two pump chump stuff. If you rock her world, she'll come back for more!

Thank you Zirk! I will contact her tomorrow and man up and lead the conversation.

Just unsure how to lead and sound casual on the phone tomorrow. Any ideas how to bring up? Like I said, I haven't talked to her for a week, and it could be awkward.

Slurp: I also have been thinking about it as well. The only chance I can about right now is to try and fix up with the relationship, and go second round with full force if I am lucky!