Hey guys.

So I'm in a bit deep with this girl and would like a fresh perspective on the situation as I can't seem to see it clearly myself.

About a week ago I met this gorgeous girl (HB9/9.5) and did some easy small talk and got her number. As we're both foreigners in this country and speak the same language she invited me to come over (she lives appr. 45 min away) as it was "nice to speak the same language with someone" and everyone she's with down here are not the type she would usually hang out with.

Everything went very straight forward and we met up on Friday. I was a bit taken back by her looks during our date I feel that it was a little too much rapport and not enough sexual tension.

After dinner and a drink I took her out on some of the rocks and told her I was going to kiss her at which she replied "only because we're here" (couldn't quite interpret her tonality and no tongue but I didn't push for it either). Then later when we were holding each other and saying good bye we kissed again and she initiated tongue.

After that we exhanged some playful, but not sexual, texts (I sent first). On Sunday she was having dinner with her roomate and I said she should come to where I am living tmrw, at which she replied she couldn't tmrw but maybe Tuesday/Wednesday. I said Tuesday and she replied:

Her: Hi! Yes, that should be good! The buses can't be trusted but I'll text when I'm there;)

Then today at eleven she texts:

Her: Hi! I got a new deadline from my boss so I have to work tonight so I cant unfortunately come! But I'd like to come some other day that fits:)

Me: That's too bad. Send me your boss' number and I'll have a talk with him;) We could just postpone till tmrw.

Me (again): Looks like I'm going to be quite busy this weekend so it would be nice to meet before

Her: Haha, that would be something;) I have a BBQ tmrw so unfortunately it wont work, on Thursday I'm going on a boat trip and on Friday I promised my roomie we'd go party since it's last day! Haha full schedule here on this Island

I have my own thoughts about this whole thing but I'd like to hear what you think I should do? I don't know if the roomie is female or male.

I know how you feel man. When you're interested in a girl a notch above most other, you want to make it work and wonder about everything. I know I do. I think it's called "oneitis" and the cure is meeting other girls and getting other numbers, so you don't care. Easier than it sounds though (for me).

Anyway, there's no point in assuming she's lying to you... if she is, there's nothing you can do about it. Play it cool, and tell her something like "Oh, I'll have to find someone else to enjoy these <insert random tickets or event or activity plans> with me then " or "Well, I guess you're back to square 1 missy " Followed by "I'll have my secretary check with your secretary sometime next week."

Those might sound lame, but whatever funny/cocky/casual "I don't care" stuff you can come up with will do. If you complain or get mad she'll just not want to see you again.

I agree that I definitely can't get angry or show that I'm annoyed. As for getting out there I already have a few other girls but I am horrible at taking pictures (FB) and as she lives 45 min away it's hard to show her that "accidentally" in order to create some jealousy.

The two options I was considering was either to not answer at all and see if she would text me again (perhaps unlikely) or try to give an answer where it looks like I dont care. The secretary thing could work, maybe something like:

Got dinner with friends today, music festival tmrw, party on friday and scuba diving on Sunday.. Looks like we're just too busy;) I'll have my secretary check with your secretary sometime next week.

Anyone?

I was thinking of maybe sending her text later today (1.5 day after the last message) saying something like "I got go-kart today, going to a dance music festival tmrw and out on Friday before I go home on Monday. Oh well, c'est la vie"

P.S.: I am supposed to go home on Monday but I might be staying for a couple of weeks. Just want to create some urgency and see if she gives me something to work on

I've seen this so many times in all different forms. I know how to handle this. You are in a one-track frame of mind right now. You think that you absolutely have to address this issue of her being busy so you can find a way to eventually ask her out. But let's flip the script.

If her "busy schedule" was just a way to blow you off then it doesn't matter what you say or do. You'll just spin your wheels to no avail and then think that whatever you tried last was what blew it for you. But the bottom line is that if she is down to go out again then she will. If she's not, she won't, and it doesn't matter what you say or do.

Send her a text that is unrelated to going out and to her being busy. Could even be something random. This will let her know that you don't really care about her being busy and that you are not just ignoring her. Let that exchange develop into whatever, even if its nothing. Then wait it out. See if she texts you within the next week. If not, hit her up again and follow up on the last thing you talked about. Then later ask her out again very casually. Either she'll say yes or she'll make up another excuse and you'll know to move on.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Who cares if its a guy or girl?

This isn't your girlfriend.


Remove that thought from your mind as soon as possible. She seems genuine and for all you know she could be having sex with 10 other people. Foreigners tend to get down like that. But once again that isn't any of your concern. Don't let her looks and innocent demeanor fool you into thinking she doesn't love to have sex, and maybe with many different people.

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Thanks guys.

I was thinking of not answering at all (which I haven't for two days) then maybe sending something casual without an actual invitation. It does feel a bit weird to suddenly stop sending texts when we seemingly had a good rapport, and perhaps leaving the impression that I was just after sex (though this might be a good thing?).

I'll try and come up with something cocky/funny/casual

So I sent her a casual text yesterday morning (about 2-3 days after her last response). :

Haha, what a total chaos. My laid-back movie night and drink on the porch ends up far away on dance music festival with two strippers stalking us all night. Welcome to a normal Wednesday night on this island:)

This did actually happen btw.

Now, it's the morning the day after (approx. 24 hours) and I still haven't heard back from her. To be honest I am very, very surprised. From our previous conversations this doesn't seem to make sense. I know the best would probably be to just move on but I hate not getting a final conclusion. I was considering texting her saying, "Hey, had some phone issues lately, did you get my message yesterday?".

I don't want to sound negative, but when things don't seem to make sense there is usually another guy.

I wouldn't text her anything over the weekend. You know she's busy, she knows you are busy don't fuck this up by over texting. Get back to her on Monday with a plan for a date where you come up with something fun, and tell her exactly when and where. If she flakes that one I wouldn't chase her any more at all.