Hey guys,

As you can read in my other thread, I have been practicing PUA for one year now. I have to admit that I have improved on several aspects, but I still lack what it takes to successfully attract women. I can approach, number close, get a first or second date, but that's it. They lose interest in the end.

my-game-still-sucks-help-plz-vt166484.html

After some inspection and the advice of forum members, I realized I am missing the essence of PUA:

*Flirting
*Sexual escalation
*Kino

I am an interesting guy and can discuss for hours with women, I love teasing them, my friends love my personality, but I still end up in the friendzone with women I meet. I really do not understand why, while I generally comfortable approaching and talking to women, I cannot simply do the 3 above things.

I will use as an example the lunch date I had today. I met this girl at salsa last Friday and stayed in touch. Turns out we work for the same organisation and that our buildings are close to each other. So, I suggested her that we go for lunch to a nearby park and she immediately accepted.

I was rehearsing the cube routine, prepared mentally for the date (I did not really stress about it as the girl is older and so-so looking) and I mainly stuck with what I read at the following page:
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/converse.htm

The date went ok but I was not able to flirt and build attraction. We talked on and on about traveling projects (she implied at some point that she's looking for a bf who can also be a traveling partner), our hobbies, etc. I followed closely the advice from that website, so it was not a disaster in that sense that I didn't bore her to tears. When we parted ways, she asked me to let her know if I ever go to some party (I told her I like going to meet-ups) and we briefly texted later in the afternoon (I forwarded her a funny email I got from a colleague who was suffocating, she agreed with the statement and wished me a nice week-end). So, not all is lost...

I was still frustrated for not being able to use the cube routine and not being able to do some kino at least. I don't know, it somehow did not feel appropriate and did not match the mood of the conversation (it would have come out of the blue).

So, what else could have blocked me? The fact that she is a colleague? The fact she's older than me and cold-reading games probably won't impress her? The fact that I could find any appropriate time to use the routine?

This is a recurrent problem with all of my dates. For the love of God, I cannot bring myself to playfully touch these girls nor make a comment with sexual innuendo. The irony is that I do these things all the time to girls who are simply platonic friends (I do know them better, so I feel comfortable being playful).

Guys, did you ever have such problems? How did you solve them? This is really my main obstacle from being able to further pursue a relationship with all these girls I meet. I need more time than 2-3 dates to be able to act that way. The problem is that they lose patience after the 1st date...

Thanks in advance for the advice, mates!

hey mate!

I can relate to your problem. I was 'in the game' for 6 months, i made great progress (went out sarging about 5 times a week, but i was in a situation where i could do that. i cant do that anymore) but i was stuck. I couldnt even go for a kiss. 'Dates' went by, and there were times i could swear i saw them thinking: is he really not going to do anything? i just couldnt, because i always felt like i tricked her. With those indirect ways and techniques, i felt like cheating all along.

Sometimes i was lucky and the topic turned into sex. Because of that, i had 2 lays in the early days. I was happy, as i kept telling myself: you made it! Well done, you can converse and pick up about any girl. But deep in my head i knew it wasnt true, deep in my mind i knew the girls have had their hand in the entire interaction. They made the moves, subtly, and i took the bait and told myself that it was me. After some, i got into a real bad relationship. I was a toy. it lasted a year, a year of heavy emotional shit, lies and what more. During that year, i had lied to myself many times and all of a sudden, i was sick and tired of it. I just happend to be reading David X his material and Mode One, also Radical honesty. And that is when it happened. I was tired of lying to myself, tired of believing my own made up thoughts and most of all, believing and swallowing obvious made-up crap from other people.

So i threw away who i desperatly wanted to be and i became radically honest. I spit my thoughts relentlessy, only lying if it was about babies (you know, i just couldnt tell fresh parents that their new born was more a chiwawa look-a-like). I lost a lot of my 'friends' and i gained only a few in return. But those few became buddies to the bone. A couple of evenings in the week, i threw sales pitches back then. I even went radical honest in those pitches and i became a better salesman (i must also say that i was fully behind the product i sold, it tends to help a lot).

But most of all, i threw away the believe that a man must always be a gentleman, that a woman can never be an object of lust, and that women would look down on just a sexual relationship. I just threw it away. From that time on, i was like: now i am just going for what i really want. Yeah i am a man and i want sex and lots of it! And honestly, i dont really care if you think i am alpha or not, if you think i am a nerd or not. I dont care. I can only state what I want and you can either want it as well or not. there is no maybe. And so i did, from one day on another, i approached women and i opened with: darn, i think you are hot. I wanna know who you are. Sometimes i didnt even say:'i wanna know who you are'. They would answer with: thank you or they would just tell me to leave them alone (and i have never had an encounter where they became mad). I even opened up groups, i didnt care if one of the males was her boyfriend or not. I just said: hey excuse me, i need to stop you guys for a moment. Then i would turn to her and say: i think you are smoking hot. We should go for a drink at least and who knows... Sometimes a guy would turn up and say: yeah, but she is with me. Then i would say to him: aah ok, that is fair. Sorry man. And walk away. I never had any real trouble, but on the other side, i am quite a tall guy, perhaps that had to do something with it.

In any case, my results skyrocketed. The number of dates were too much to do them all. After only one week, i got my first lay. I was horny, she was horny, so we hit it off. It was bad sex, so i started to become more picky and was more into fuckbuddies (so, lower quantity, higher quality). But that doesnt matter. I had learned my lesson: women are sexual, they are looking for a real man, a man who knows they are sexual, a man who i sexual himself and not afraid to just go for what he wants.

I have been doing this for quite some time now, but this time i can honestly say: you made it.

So as a tip for you: let go of the thoughts that a girl/woman cant know you are into her, that she cant know you only want sex. Grow a good pair of balls and make the interaction sexual from the start, fearless of what might happen. Because you should always keep in mind: its better to fail then to not do anything at all.

As a sidenote i want to say that you can be very sexual in an indirect way as well, you just need the balls to do so.

cheers, i hope my tale might be insightful.

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you