Hey guys,

I'm new to the scene, and live in a part of the world where women are slightly more conservative.
Recently met a hb8 working at the bank branch close to my office building. Joked a little while she handled my transaction. After that she began calling out my name (guess she remembered me from the first meeting) whenever she saw me outside the bank. Taking it as a positive sign, I went and got her phone number later that week.

We met once for lunch (she suggested before I could), but owing to time constraints in her work schedule, we only met for an hour before she had to leave. Found out through lunch that she has a longterm bf, but I simply went on with the conversation without bringing him up again. We had a good time, and IOIs were present. I closed saying we should probably grab dinner sometime soon since time for lunch is limited and she agreed.

That's where the trail went cold. I try to minimize texting by "checking in" only once in every three days, mostly texting to attempt to set up meetings, but she doesnt seem as responsive as she was in the beginning. It's been a week since the lunch meeting and seems my dinner propositions are not working.

Anyways just 2 questions I hope you guys can help me with:
1. Is it time to call it quits?
2. Any advice on how I could have done things differently?

It's possible she was interested at first and has now lost interest.

Attraction has an expiration date.. you probably aren't still as attracted to your high school crushes now, are you?

When a girl has a boyfriend, her window of attraction is much shorter- you have a limited amount of time to seduce her, or she will begin to doubt seeing you.

The last guy to have sex with a girl has the most power over her. I have lost girls to their other guys by not moving fast enough- the other guy got there first and she lost interest in me. You have to move faster- try to set up the date for within a day or two of meeting the girl.

Never close the door on anything- she may still want you, but you have to push through her extra high barriers to entry

You should ideally have multiple women you are pursuing at once- this makes you less needy, and makes you less invested in this one girl.

May I ask if you paid for the date? I am a believer in not paying for the first date, and only paying for dates later in the relationship after she has done some favors for me

I'd say just keep pursuing other girls-I think the window of opportunity has probably passed with this one.

It's a learning experience- when I was first starting out, things like this happened to me all the time, and now I know how to handle them better.

Well for starters...


Don't say " We should...."

There are no shoulds, you're either going to set something up or you're not.


2nd: Texting every three days to check in.. Who invented that? Why not just pick up the phone, give her a call and set up the dinner(at your place preferably)

3rd: Women in relationships are not looking for anything serious with a 3rd party; you have to see this for what it is. I'm willing to bet she just wanted to bang you. She doesn't have room to deal with neediness or emotion from two men.

Text her: " Hey, lets do that dinner at my place. You free later? "

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The answer is obvious. Your impression at the first date was sub par, and she lost interest. Delete number and move on. No shame in it. We all fuck up while learning.

Thanks for the advice guys. Hopefully I'll have better results to report in the future.

2 things I would have done differently:

When she mentioned her BF you should have tried the straw man technique. Also, don't check in, it makes you look weak. Just text something like "tomorrow I'm going to a new restaurant. Wanna come?" Make it sound like if she's not going you'll just get another girl. And if she doesn't go, don't push the subject, let her miss you and come to you.

Good hunt.