It actually happened before 1986. I watched a Polish TV series about the Polish King, 1530. He liked to put down his robe, dress in peasant clothes, take a small sword and sneak out of the pallace. In episode 4 he went to the village met a peasant girl, and heard that the village and its residents are in the grip of the DArk Judge who tormented people in the name of the King. So the disguised King confronts the judge, who orders him to be flogged. (Rather graphic 25-of the best scene in the film) I said wow! That's cool! So, the same day, in bed I returned to the spanking scene as I saw it, and...got excited.This went on for several weeks and one night I mused: It is not cool. The directors, probably made a mistake. Why spank a thick bearded ugly male? It should have been the Peasant Girl from episode 4 who should have been stripped and flogged, together with one more female characters. Now I recalled the scene with my girls in it, with realistic vividity like a good quality video, all in my head, and I played the video intill I fell asleep, every night.

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Sooner than she thinks I'm at her door, from a world she's chosen to ignore.

SO I am afraid this is where my massive amounts of fear comes from in addition to normal approach anxiety. At 12 I thought I was mentally deranged, wanting whip girls, and these symptoms will get worse in their intensity, and I will end up in jail, as a rapist or some other sexual offender. (ON theater and TV there were endless sex criminal stories and films with serial killer.) So I wanted to have a girlfriend at 15 desperately, but not for only the regular purpose, but to become more normal by fucking her, forcing my own sexuality into a more normal course: cure, therapy.

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Sooner than she thinks I'm at her door, from a world she's chosen to ignore.

Are you trying to write a novel? If you are, the second post is far less interesting than the first post.

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A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

18 Body Language Mistakes I Bet You're Making

Then read part 1 a couple of more times.

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Sooner than she thinks I'm at her door, from a world she's chosen to ignore.

You're right- they're both equally uninteresting.

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A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

18 Body Language Mistakes I Bet You're Making