This will probably be opposite to many questions on here... but here we go.

I've had four hookups over the course of the last two months. I run into the same situation each time. After the night, I seem to get these feelings where even though I knew in advance that it was never going to be anything more, that I want more. It's almost as though I get feelings for the person and begin to feel attached.

Typical example is my most recent. Messaged on OKC, met the next night, met the night after and had sex all night. For someone who "normally doesn't have orgasms", she had seven, and we actually had a cool time. We texted intermittently over the next couple of days as she expressed interest in meeting up again, and I thought she was cool as well. It ultimately seems as though it's fizzed out, as she is logged on to OKC and is probably seeking the same thing.

Just curious if anyone knows or has experienced this. Why should this even bother me considering I knew what the main purpose was going into it?

Im there too. A bit of success but a lot of heartache and worry after. It bounces between good and bad.

Would love any insight from some of the experienced veterans.

A few things could be the reason for this.

One is scarcity. Or at least the perception of scarcity. You say this has happened the last 4 times, I learned after my first. Although I still get feelings, but not as much anymore. Sometimes none after a while. The idea here is abundance. You want to get it. Why? Because with abundance come the traits of what you actually want to be. A cool dude who has fun but doesn't need it because he knows he can get it anytime he wants. And when he does want to get it he gets it with pure intent, unapologetically, and is unaffected by whatever happens with any one girl. With abundance you know you can get new pussy, and therefore this one here is great, but you don't NEED it.

The second is emotion. After a few heartaches you should be teaching yourself not to touch the burning hob. At least not for a while. Let it warm up, first. Have sex, and keep it purely as such. Then see where it goes. You don't want to need her more than she needs you. This gets her chasing you. Now, how do you get there? It's a little bit like distancing yourself emotionally. Not completely, because emotion is a huge part of pickup. However, distancing yourself emotionally from her validation. You want to completely get rid of your validation seeking attitude. Sometimes you learn it by reading on these forums and applying the mindsets, but a lot of the times you learn it through real hard experience. You get hurt, you don't want it to happen again. But you want pussy. What do you do? You go for pussy without INVESTING too emotionally in the girl. Invest less in her than she invests in you, or at least be MUTUAL about it.

In conclusion, go out more. This will get your mind off her. You probably know what you must do. In case you don't: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNovswAlmio

Awesome response... if only I had the knowledge a few days earlier.

Thanks so much.

Bet she didn't even have one orgasm. Most women tell that to make the guy feel good. Incidently you can't prove she had one because when a girl orgasms you can feel her pulsate but they can mimick this voluntarily.

You have sex with a girl, you want sole access to her pussy...its normal. You'll be bothered at the idea of another dick going in there. Its like a dog marking his post.

your just to attached to intimacy. log onto okc, hook up with other girls and with time your feeling of wanting more will wear out.

Tr@veler thank you for that, I was having very similar experiences to this topic and that video definitely helped clear a lot of it up

It's your body releasing the hormone oxytocin when you orgasm. It's known as the bonding hormone and evolved millions of years ago so that the male becomes attached to the female after sex and will hang around to provide for any possible child produced. Women get it too but theirs is equally triggered by physical intimacy like cuddling. It's just nature, you can mediate it's effects by releasing testosterone and you do that by sarging other hotties as quick as possible.

A couple of things point out that she wasn't faking, and if she was, she has some amazing acting skills for a shy/nervous girl; not to mention superb body control if she can squirt on command.

Appreciate the feedback. It doesn't seem like the idea of someone else having it so much as me wanting more of it and having the feelings of attachment. I'm not a jealous person, typically speaking.

Yeah... I feel like it's become worse over time, honestly. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but if I really wanted to have sex every day/week... I could and I have. But I'm really picky and there's no fun without the game. I understand what you mean, though.

Would your response be altered if I provided the fact that I literally can't orgasm with one-nighters? It takes me weeks to get to that point with a girl.

Hence the reason why we went at it for almost 8 hours and she was able to keep asking for more.

On a side note, perhaps someone could shed light on this:

At this point she's been leading conversation ("what are you up to tonight? etc.) and eluding to the idea of hanging out, and after I suggest it she doesn't respond for an hour and then declines. It seems like she's trying to flex the fact that she has control or is enjoying the fact that she does. Any ideas why? If I wanted to hook up more (which I sure as hell wouldn't mind), how could I turn this around?

Thanks again, all. All feedback appreciated.

Just bumping this for a quick response.

Well, you are definitely different than many men who lose interest after sex. My guess is you were too clingy following your second date because it is quite rare if the sex is good for a woman to have no interest in meeting again. Hell, even if the sex is BAD, women will almost always be willing to see you again. You should not be texting back and forth all day unless it is clearly instigated by her and even then you should be slowing down the pace; letting her have the last response, etc.

One thing I will mention re:Sex and orgasm etc. Women are also turned on and enjoy making you orgasm. The fact that you did not orgasm in 8 hours you claim is not something you should be particularly proud of and is not a positive for the woman fyi. I still think it is unlikely the sex was the issue as even bad sex often leads to another meeting, but it is possible.

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Okay there a multiple different paradoxes as too why shes fizzling out.

1. You're falling into needy behaviour (But that might only be happening because shes fizzling out right?)
2. She has buyers remorse, I.e. she feels guilty for having sex with you too quickly. (This all depends on her views of sex by social conditioning, each girl is different thats why the game is played in comfort+trust)
3. It could be revenge sex or a rebound after breaking up with a boyfriend or something.
4. You came across as the relationship type by your behaviour from your feelings and a relationship probably what shes not looking for.
5. Shes playing games to try and get you to fall in love with her.

I had real trouble with this when I first started casually dating girls, because I've mostly been in relationships for the most part of my adult life. I kept putting myself in the provider/LTR frame, and a few girls would hold out sex, play games and one even said to me one night over text "I'm finding it hard to read you" even though I told her I just want to see her casually with nothing more.

My advice to get around this, is develop your core confidence from within and reprogram your mind into an abundance mindset. That means you have stop analyzing the situation and just keep true to your intentions. Remember you're entering a new reality, so part of your mind is going to try and keep you safe from emotional pain by rationalizing and justifying, which leads to scarcity thinking then ultimately as you give in, you will end up settling for a girl you don't really want to be with, just so your mind doesn't feel pain.

Its going to take time and pain for this shift in thinking, but its worth it in the end. Soon you'll find the girls are the needy, clingy ones and you'll just look at it and be like "That was me? Ewww" which then you'll become incapable of even going back into neediness. lol

I loved the post about the oxytocin. It makes it feel like its a natural feeling. Though we dont have to give into it.

I wonder, when you mentioned about "revenge." After doing stuff with a girl, they'll get highly attached and send me a billion messages and calling me through out the day. I cant always get back to them. But if I dont respond for many hrs when they're in that lovey dovey mode, when i DO get back to them they seem like they've lost interest (at least temporarily.) How do you guys interpret that though?

I dont think I sound that attached.