Trying a girl's patience - I need help



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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 8:55 am 
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Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 8:52 am
Posts: 3
Greetings, guys!

I'm glad to post my first thread here. I found out that this is the perfect place to share
dating ideas and that there are a lot of great people here, who are willing to help. I have
a question and I hope that your answers will help other people in a similar situation, too.
So here's what I'd like to discuss:

I am friend with a girl for about two years. We live in different towns (not very far apart) and
she's busy with studying and working, so we have very little time to see each other. I really
like her and my goal is to create a relationship between us. I know, that everyone would
consult me to give up, because of the situation, but the story's not over yet:

During the recent months I read some dating material from great guys like Adam Lyons, Carlos Xuma and Gambler. I also talked to a friend of mine, who's very successful with girls. So, I applied my
new knowledge and I managed to get things going, even though I meet her 1-2 times a month maximum. Finally, I put her in a situation where it was clear that she wanted me to kiss her. And I did. It was a very pleasent experience for both of us, because she was smiling the whole time after that and she was happy to kiss me for good-bye.

Here's the problem though:

During the last date (after the one we've kissed) we spent 8 hours together having fun (I knew she enjoyed it)
and she actually introduced me to her parents. During our date she gave me clear signs that she wanted me to kiss her
again: twirling her hair, looking down, sucking her lips and touching herself. She let me smell her neck and hug her.
For these 8 hours I didn't manage to kiss her. Just awkward hugs. I was kind of uncertain and she was rejecting me.
Finally, it was all over without any kissing. So my question is the following:

If I meet her again (which I will do next week), will she be open to kissing me (because of the pleasent kissing experience before)
or will she rather reject me (because of my lack of confidence during the last date)? Please share some advices.

Thank you!


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 10:04 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:50 am
Posts: 45
Quote:
Greetings, guys!

I'm glad to post my first thread here. I found out that this is the perfect place to share
dating ideas and that there are a lot of great people here, who are willing to help. I have
a question and I hope that your answers will help other people in a similar situation, too.
So here's what I'd like to discuss:

I am friend with a girl for about two years. We live in different towns (not very far apart) and
she's busy with studying and working, so we have very little time to see each other. I really
like her and my goal is to create a relationship between us. I know, that everyone would
consult me to give up, because of the situation, but the story's not over yet:

During the recent months I read some dating material from great guys like Adam Lyons, Carlos Xuma and Gambler. I also talked to a friend of mine, who's very successful with girls. So, I applied my
new knowledge and I managed to get things going, even though I meet her 1-2 times a month maximum. Finally, I put her in a situation where it was clear that she wanted me to kiss her. And I did. It was a very pleasent experience for both of us, because she was smiling the whole time after that and she was happy to kiss me for good-bye.

Here's the problem though:

During the last date (after the one we've kissed) we spent 8 hours together having fun (I knew she enjoyed it)
and she actually introduced me to her parents. During our date she gave me clear signs that she wanted me to kiss her
again: twirling her hair, looking down, sucking her lips and touching herself. She let me smell her neck and hug her.
For these 8 hours I didn't manage to kiss her. Just awkward hugs. I was kind of uncertain and she was rejecting me.
Finally, it was all over without any kissing. So my question is the following:

If I meet her again (which I will do next week), will she be open to kissing me (because of the pleasent kissing experience before)
or will she rather reject me (because of my lack of confidence during the last date)? Please share some advices.

Thank you!
2 years makes it tough. However, regardless of 2 months or 2 years, there's one big point:

You bitched out, and you both know it. You're going to need to show that you have some balls the next time you see her and be spontaneous. It looks like the kino was available but poorly handled. Try to instigate some verbal cues, even.

If you miss it on round 2, you're far worse off and have disqualified yourself.


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 11:44 am 
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Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 8:52 am
Posts: 3
Thank you very much.

I didn't understand the part with the verbal cues, though.
Could you explain what it means?


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 3:43 pm 
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Practice being more assertive. Most women get fed up if they're throwing out all the signals and the guy is no. Responsive. Actually makes her wonder if the guy likes her and at worst makes her feel unattractive to him.


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 5:25 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:50 am
Posts: 45
Quote:
Thank you very much.

I didn't understand the part with the verbal cues, though.
Could you explain what it means?

Once upon a time when I was very shy about making the first move, I had a girl take initiative finally by saying something that would trigger something intimate.

I was literally talking about my cat and how he falls into temptation quite often. She responded with, "How are you with resisting temptation?" to which I responded "Let's find out." and started to make out with her.

Socratic method. Lead her into thinking what you want her to think/do with subliminal actions.


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 6:38 pm 
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Posts: 3
Alright, here's a phone conversation:

Her: Hi!
Me: Hi, how are you?
Her: Fine. You?
Me: Good. I'm looking at some videos. Look there's something bothering me all day.
Her:...
Me: I made a terrible mistake yesterday.
Her:...
Me:I didn't kiss you and I should've done that. You seemed pretty uneasy, as if you didn't want me to do it.
Her: Well...
Me:Yes, you really looked like you didn't want to.
Her: Well, I wanted to talk to you about that yesteday that but I didn't.
Me: I'll fix the mistake next time we meet. (at her town)
Her: Well, I'll be really busy the whole summer and I won't be able to pay attention to anybody, so...
This way I feel obliged to you and I think it just doesn't work out.
Me: You don't need to feel obliged to me. I'll be visiting your town often.
Her:...
Me: Alright, we'll sort things out, when I come.
Her: Okay. (in a sad voice)

My friend told me there's still some hope, but I have to play my cards very well. What do you think, guys?


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PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 9:05 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:50 am
Posts: 45
Quote:
Alright, here's a phone conversation:

Her: Hi!
Me: Hi, how are you?
Her: Fine. You?
Me: Good. I'm looking at some videos. Look there's something bothering me all day.
Her:...
Me: I made a terrible mistake yesterday.
Her:...
Me:I didn't kiss you and I should've done that. You seemed pretty uneasy, as if you didn't want me to do it.
Her: Well...
Me:Yes, you really looked like you didn't want to.
Her: Well, I wanted to talk to you about that yesteday that but I didn't.
Me: I'll fix the mistake next time we meet. (at her town)
Her: Well, I'll be really busy the whole summer and I won't be able to pay attention to anybody, so...
This way I feel obliged to you and I think it just doesn't work out.
Me: You don't need to feel obliged to me. I'll be visiting your town often.
Her:...
Me: Alright, we'll sort things out, when I come.
Her: Okay. (in a sad voice)

My friend told me there's still some hope, but I have to play my cards very well. What do you think, guys?
Hmmm... Well, I wouldn't have admitted to that being a mistake, and she seems to have shut it down relatively quick, but also had it on her mind.

Maybe be more playful about it next time or place the blame on her.

"Ah I totally forgot to do something the other day when we were hanging out."

"What?"

Then toy with it...

Or you could do a more cocky approach and dhv maybe. Put the blame on her for it not happening, like she didn't make the move or somehow caused it not to happen.

Just ideas. But admitting to being a pussy never made someone seem like less of one.


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