Ok so I've been introduced to the PUA community about 2 years ago, at first I didn't take it seriously because I thought it was just a "method" to getting chicks, but then I realized it was an art and there was seminars, communities, groups and forums all about getting chicks and bettering yourself.

I've actually wanted to make this post for a while and the "New post" tab was open on my browser for days, but I could never bring myself to start it because I always told myself "I probably don't need to go that far", but everytime I got home from the gym, I'd think that this is not how I wanted my life to be and always felt like I needed to make this post and get everything organized.
The reason I'm coming to GD & you guys is because knowing the PUA community, you guys will give me the honesty I need since we're all mostly anonymous, and that of all people I should ask, you guys hold the answers or direction I need.

So I'm 19, never had a real girlfriend (the two I did have can hardly be considered relationships), virgin, never got past 2nd base with a girl, massive approach anxiety and no self-confidence.

Now I'm not ugly at all, I'm just overweight, have been my whole life and its the reason I've never had success with women. I'm not talking obese, just 'overweight', a bit over "few extra pounds". I've always went to the gym but with no dedication, discipline and knowledge about what to do and where to start, so it goes without saying I failed to get fit year after year. But I just started working out seriously last February, so its been 4 months, and I'm seeing great results, and I feel like I can have a shot at finally developing the relations I want with women, but problem is I've never had the experience normal teenagers get during high school, and because of my weight, I have no self-confidence whatsoever, I can take a joke and have been for the past 13 years, but now its come to the point that any fat joke will break my confidence and either upset me or anger me, which will come up to be a problem if I want to gain confidence.

So first, I want to ask, how do you get over approach anxiety and how do you gain self confidence when nothing's going right? I'm broke, overweight, never had a job, no car, no driver's license, still didn't finish high school and no confidence or success with women. Where the hell should I start?

I don't have problems making friends with girls, but for some reason, no matter what openers I use for online game, or escalating in real life game, I can never succeed, I just can't seem to grasp the concept no matter how many articles I read, because every time I put it into work, it doesn't work and sometimes backfires, and every rejection makes me weaker instead of stronger, to the point where I stop trying. I just can't escalate and I always end up friendzoned, I try to be independent without coming off as an asshole, and it fails, then when I'm honest and sincere, I get rejected nicely and friendzoned or no-zoned... It's really bothering me and I need guidance.

I want to know how can I change and where do I start. I'm actually looking heaps better than I was 4 months ago, or any point in my life actually, and think I have better chances now than I ever had before. So knowing my situation, what should I do?

Here's a pic so you know I don't look like the hunchback of Notre-Dame:

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

you already know the answer to your own question. Just Do It!
no quick fix technique is gonna help you, just hard slog.

Man Up!

You're lucky to get into this pua thing so young, you have a lot of time to get good. Just focus on creating attraction and what attraction is and then how to trigger it.

Keep working and practising, eventually things will start to make more sense.

_________________
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become."
Guatama Buddha

Yeah but I find it ridiculous that I've never done anything in 19 years...

Are there any guides you'd recommend for starting pua's? Attraction, alpha male, changing, bettering yourself, confidence, approach anxiety, any top guides you'd recommend for those?

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

I'm going to share my story with you, which may be inspiring, give me about an hour or two though, I'll edit this post or post back as soon as I free up.

You could start by never wearing jorts ever again. Jean. Shorts.

Umm, may I ask why at least?

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

1. Start learning some monster cocking techniques.

• pua-vs-porn-star-vt160210.html
  
  screening-game-vt158529.html
  
  post765621.html#p765621

2. Observe the reactions of girls and get familiar with girlie body language that says, "I want dah dick inside mah puzzeeh right now." When you realize that girls are actually lusting for you, your confidence level will rise.

3. When your confidence level is up, start approaching girls. Nothing complicated when you're new to this. A simple "Hi" combined with a strong, dominant body posture and seductive eye contact (learn the eye fuck dude) should do the trick.

4. Take it from there.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Do you understand about attraction switches and triggers? that's where you should start.

Mysteries concept of Attraction, Comfort and Seduction is very linier, things don't have to go in the order, but each step is important to understand and it's great for beginners.

_________________
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become."
Guatama Buddha

Yeah the pornstar thing didn't teach me much at all, the screening game was interesting.

Is there any guides you recommend for learning body language?

And any tips or threads for better eye contact? I don't know how to "eye fuck" lol...

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

Things like good eye contact boils down to having good confidence and a strong inner game and having a strong intent. You will not get that from one single book, it comes from knowledge, understanding, experience and success which leads to confidence.

_________________
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become."
Guatama Buddha

I wouldn't class myself as a PUA but i know the theory behind it and i do quite well with women.

Okay firstly don't worry too much about what women think, i mean really don't take any of it at heart, they can have six different opinions on one man, hows it possible when its just one man !

Male and female attraction is very different, it comes down to status, confidence, demeanour for men to be deemed attractive.

Secondly backing on to the first point, you're a good looking guy and i wouldn't say you are overweight at all, its just coming down to confidence issues with you, which is common for a lot of guys in the west today.

As for approach anxiety, we are not told this anymore, but as man, you have to take the risks and the possibility of rejection, women can play the plausible deniability card, as they don't have to be forward in getting a guy; where as us men have to.

I can tell you are a good guy, and unfortunately in our society good guys don't get much of the spotlight, however you are very fortunate to have run into the pick up artist community, to build your foundations of becoming a successful individual.

Read up on PUA material, work out which suits your character the best, and try it out, but most of all, work on your inner confidence, and learn not to give a fuck what women or anyone else on the matter thinks about you, otherwise you will be set up for self destruction.

That's the thing. I've never had any women, in my entire life, so much that its like my mind subconsciously elevates women to a higher standpoint, and I know its a problem, and I recognize the problem, but I can't remedy it myself, at least I've tried and I can't. It's come to the point where I become nervous around women, I start to sweat, my heart beats faster, I can't focus on what any of us are saying and I just end up a mess.

But I am pretty overweight, I just chose the best pics so I could show I'm not ugly, but I'm 208 lbs, I was 230 lbs three months ago however.

My best friends come over with their girlfriends sometimes, and they don't find anything wrong with me, I even ask, so its not like I'm a creep or a weirdo.

Now it feels like I hate women, not literally because then I'd be the opposite of someone who wants to be a PUA, but this feeling that burns in me, that makes me feel like nobody wants me, its the worst. No matter how hard I've tried, I can't get a woman to do as much as look twice at me... And I'm not even hideous, I don't get it. How can I be so detestable? To the point where I'd be this unwanted? Is that really how women's minds work? You need to play games and know the rules by heart to do as much as appear likeable?... I have no problem making friends, I have lately but that's because I'm just becoming sick of life. I'm angry at myself, at women, at the way all of this works, and I'm mostly angry that I can't seem to get it right...

I'm sorry for the rant, I just had to get it out. Something about speaking with people who don't know you makes me feel like I can truly say what's on my mind with no setbacks.

As for the confidence... I don't have any, having been shot down by so many women as if I had a hovering sign over my head saying "I'm not human" and being rejected as if it was normal to detest or avoid someone like me, you'd be surprised if I still had any self-confidence or self-esteem... And I don't know how to get any confidence because every single bit of my life is not going right, not in education, job, money, health, women, nothing... And being 20 in 3 months and never had any contact with women past friendship is really making me feel like shit.

_________________
If you don't go after what you want. You will never have IT.
If you don't ask. The answer will always be NO.
If you don't step forward. You will always be in the same PLACE.

Look at inner confidence books first, before you start on PUA journey, otherwise even if you get good with women, you will be doomed if a break up (which is very possible) would happen, as you have built your foundations on this.

Set yourself achievements in life, first of all, learn a martial arts, take part in a sports, begin a new hobby, what ever that may be. It sounds like cliche advice but these are good institutions and ways of rounding you up as an individual.

A lot of people have been where you are, hell i had it rough when i was younger, the sort of stuff which would dent your confidence for ever, social alienation harsh break ups, violence etc, but then are started realising my own self worth, and i live a successful life, with women proclaiming their love to me; so i don't want to hear this "I am forever doomed speech".

It's not easy being a man in today's society, as we are told conflicting messages from a infant hood, in one hand the media and our culture worships the notion of the underdog nice guy finally getting the beautiful cheerleader, but in reality this isn't the case and it never has been the case. If you want to understand dynamics between men and women, look at simple supply and demand economics.


Society's place value on human beings in response to their worth in society. Much like how perceived value determines diamonds being worth a lot, where a common metal, lets say aluminium won't be worth a percentage of a diamond.


Women have always been valued higher for their reproductive capabilities a Uterus is way more valuable than a man's sperm, as essentially it would only take one lucky man to repopulate an entire population again if the call of duty was put out; a crisis that wiped out women or rendered them infertile, would be a disaster, as they are the creators of populations essentially.

So stay with me....

now you have two parties who want to agree to a contract to ensure child birth, however the man has lower value than the woman, due to the difference in biology.

So heres the tricky part, men make concessions (i.e. in clubs buying drinks, working a dangerous job, going to war to protect the family) in order for the woman to submit to her terms of the contract, and accept her responsibilities.

Essentially and traditionally this is how relationships work, really cut out the lovey dovey bullshit, it's not because women are staring into your soul and seeing you as pathetic. I can tell by you posting that you are caught up in a victim mentality, that has been spurred by you trying to hide away from the harsh rejections you have faced in your life.

Think of yourself as a diamond, now diamonds aren't formed easy, and have a rough process of becoming a diamond, but they eventually become an item of such high value, that both men and women are willing to give up enormous amounts of energy to be associated with the diamond.

The information i gave you here are true gems, really don't take it personally, it's your confidence .... to boost your confidence either do the suggested at the start of this post, or if you have to, find a pua like mind and just sarge sarge sarge, approach, approach approach. One thing which i agree with mystery method on, is that approaching is like jumping into a swimming pool, at first its cold and uncomfortable, but after a while it becomes nice and you can jump in and out til your hearts content.

I bid you farewell !

Okay, let's do this.
First, congratulations. Why? 'Cause you made it this far, and 'cause you discovered this business. I can relate to what you wrote, and that's why I'm taking the time and effort to write this.
- You asked what should you do in order to gain confidence. You're already doing it. Going to the gym. It might not appear important, but it is. Most people are confident or the opposite, mostly based on their looks. If this is you, then you're doing the right thing. If it's not, you have to add some things to your personality. A foundation of sorts. Whatever floats your boat. For example, I have two rules I live my life by: I don't have the slightest care in the world about other people(what they're doing, what they're thinking, whether or not they like me), and I don't take things too seriously. Everything has an amusing side. Find it.
Yeah, the might be common, or even cheesy, but in my case, they brought me here, so they worked.
So, the foundation to your personality. Learn to be not affected by the outcome. It's probably one of the things that keeps you from greatness. Why should you care about what happens? She rejected. Her loss. There are plenty more fish in the water. I know it's the most common saying you'll hear about this, but trust me, it's true. The outcome(in this case) does not matter. Live the moment. Enjoy every second of it. Have fun with yourself and others.
You asked why you're being shot down all the time, despite using various techniques. The answer is as follows: lack of congruence. Who are you? I know you can't answer this question. I've been there. If you can't answer this question, if you don't know who you are, and what you can give, how do you think your approaches come off as?
Take some time, figure out your shit, and then start fucking the neighborhood. In direct relation to that, you're young. They're young. High school is one of the best and, at the same time, worst places you can learn and experience "game".
It's one of the best, simply because it gets you used to falling down, being embarrassed, and being shot down. It's one of the worst, because the people that do that to you are probably not even half of what you are. So take it as a learning experience. I did, and it brought me where I am now.
Now, for the girls there...Holy mother of good. Yeah, they're fuckable, but fucking Jesus on a cracker, they lack depth. I've been there, still am, and yet to find geniune personality in one. They're copies of each other for Christ's sake. Same car, different color. And they're expecting me to feel attracted to them when they don't even know what they want. Fucking amateurs. That's why high school's a great training field. If you have zero interest, you can try everything. When I say everything, I mean it. Techniques, lines, approaches, theories, kino, everything you've ever heard, read or seen, you can try.
The good part is, that you might hit the jackpot and find your soulmate. I'm joking, you should really just practice your game and fuck everything that seems fuckable to you.
This all seems much more serious than it actually is, but in reality, it's really based on a couple of simple principles or rules, if you want.
So, to recap:
- Don't care about other people, and do not be attached by the outcome.
- Live the motherfucking moment and enjoy yourself.
- Be natural. Don't force it. Give what you can give. Not more, not less.
- Practice makes perfect.
Good luck.