When I start talking about my problems that I have with her. She then says I can't talk to you when your angry at me it makes me feel like shit.

So it gets flipped onto her somehow, and she comes across as a bitch, and I come across as needy because I then tend to her instead.

How can I make her realise that it's my turn for attention now and get her to listen wihtut judging ?

Stop rewarding her for negative attention.

Women/girls Crave attention. They are attention whores.

And Negative attention is better than no attention at all. Perhaps because it's easier to get negative attention it's a sure thing. It sounds like she has a negative self image and that gaining negative attention is all she is used to.

Or your whining about you problems with her is giving her a negative image of your relationship.

Try praising the positive aspects she is bringing.

Walk away/ignore/leave when she is projecting the need for negative attention.

Don't battle, don't react, don't show any anger at all. Just dismiss it! Sidestep it! You are the one that's supposed to be in control. Control it!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

theres no way you can do that because shes already built that way. you need to find another girl. next her. trust me, if she doesnt have it in her she wont change.