I'll explain the situation, and I have a few questions which I'll ask as I explain.

Theirs a girl I'm gaming rather half heartedly at dance. We dance together and get on really well, make each other laugh and I also think she's really quite good looking.

I'm hoping she'll come to something that's coming up, and I first suggested it as a "you should come along as well" type thing, not with me per se. Her response was "why not", but she's wavered a little since then and hasn't got a ticket or anything yet (and will need to soon, sales close soon). Unfortunately I've fallen into the trap of being really needy about it.

This raises two questions:
* How can I recover from this? I have some ideas and will explain that as I go on.
* How do I avoid this situation in the future? I.e. I want to ask someone to come to something, essentially with me. They say yes but then waver. And walking away is not the best, because I'll probably still want them to come.

Anyway, so there was dance tonight and she dropped me a rather vague message, which was no more distant or closer than any of the others, saying she couldn't make it for perfectly plausible reasons I'm inclined to believe. I haven't replied to this message yet, and I'm in the happy position of not being able to make it to our next semi-regular night later this week.

So, next and final questions:
What kind of reply should I write? And when should I write it? I probably need to write it at least a few hours beforehand if she's to get it beforehand herself. But maybe she shouldn't get it beforehand? I really don't know.

My intuition is that I should reply to her message in a couple of days and just say I can't make it, so "hope to see you next Sunday". I.e. play hard(er) to get. What do you all think?

Thanks for any help you can offer!
P

sounds like she put u in the friend zone. id say u didnt have her hooked when u invited her. u also made it sound like u were not confident. u need to find a way to show her u r fun and spontanious.

_________________
They call me The Bandit because I've been know to steal a few hearts.

Ah well, live and learn. I'll keep you posted on how it turns out and I'm a little bit sad if this one turns to nothing, she is *very* hot, but there are plenty of others around

You just need to be a little more direct. And don't play hard to get, but make her see or at least think that you're rather socialy busy, you're fun, and you got a lot going on for you.

Hey, thanks sLICK,

I see the sense of being busy/social versus hard to get. How do you think I should be more direct? She is also very busy, I guess I need to isolate her somehow but I'm not sure of the best way to do that either. So much to learn!

P