| ok, first time poster... mainly because I feel Ive had some AFC programming that I'm forcing myself to correct, but this question may show I'm starting to get it.
half ass field report intro:
so my latest project, on an nyc subway pick-up, probably my most comfortable place to open.
(i am on the trains a lot, so this says something about keeping consistant sarge spots)
find something unique about her outfit, causally walk up and neg her on it.
got a lil into and interview but also found myself using better questions like after i said
what do you study? Response: graphic design, for this example and so i go
cool what inspires you to create? trying to dig up feelings and then relate.
i have some art roots too so i was able to thru tattoos and got the number close.
first date set up worked. i picked a saturday which i realized later might have put too much value out there at first... a late dinner which then transitioned into a night of drinks.
although i kept a steady ration of kino going her way, I couldn't escalate her to dance for despite a lot of body language she wanted to... first sign of resistance. I delt with it and slow played until the bill.
Went for a setting change at the bill, I could sense it was needed and we got much closer at the next bar.
I paid for din, so when doing so i causally said "grab the next drinks" as i did so. I did make her get the first round of drinks, then i got the 2nd. then she the shots: pickel backs my friends.
what saved me for a K close was pickel backs! first, they are something most have not heard of or tried...
2. its a shot, the more alcohol, the better. lastly, it got us on the topic of breath, where i negged...
let me see if all those pickles gave you bad breathe, i bet it smells...
she playfully leaned in and i went in slow and got the kiss, then lots of making out followed by
my evening time constraint.
i kno, time constraints are mostly for openers but i really do hafta be on the 150am train or im stuck in the city til 540am, some nights i will gamble and not mention it. I have a buddy I could probably crash with or take the really long annoying way if i had to but, it was good because it made her know if i was staying, I was staying with her. She stays in a dorm, so I didnt realize but it ment I was sleeping with her. Awesome oppertunity, but then couldnt get to 2nd base, so tried to sleep but mostly just felt her up all night. that may have been a little much, keep in mind we were both pretty intoxicated. In the morning we left off cool, she had work and i went home, and now im tryin for the 2nd date.
i wanted it to be fun and exciting but I also thought creativity and a craft, since shes a food/art person might spark up more oppertunity... she also likes bball, so i suggested she come over, we cook din and watch the game, in as flashy a mannor i could. she accepted and we proceeded to the details...
i set it up on home court, the huge advantage to the cooking date...
where i think fucked up is i said "if it gets to late, i'll be sure to have you up earlier enough" for work since i wake up well before her but it eluded too soon that i wanted her to crash. not even that i wanted her to, that it would be ok if she did, might as well have shot off a flare and scream i want to sleep with you, dumb mistake IMO now, hind sights 20/20. Also probably ejected to quickly after confirmation leaving her to think about it some more.
this was sometime around 2pm, i should have maybe ran some other thread so the meet up wasnt the last thing she is thinkin of? idk on that one
5pm i got a text saying very politely, saying:
"hey i kno you had to go, but i was thinking we could just meet up somewhere to watch the game?
you dont hafta text me back now."
this is an awffuull awful text, right? I think so, not only backing out but stating she doesnt care when she finds out what my response is lol shes not coming.
my response (14min later, i was pissed so i thought she should wait):
I'm in the office so its crazy! sure we can talk about it when im out"
her response to that(3min after mine): kay, which is the least enthusiastic "Oohkayy" ive ever gotton from her which is somewhat good, since my answer doesnt display and angry or disappointment, i think i showed power and little regard for her idea of bailing on the cooking asppect, which im sure would also make it a bail on home turf. hopefully shes nervous...
my question is mid-game/escalation related...
after something like this, deceleration/bailing/b.s. whats my move...?
AFC me is saying you can settle and still run decent game, try to get it back to her place again, or just make it a building encounter at minium (still thinking game, but weakly)
PUA me is saying you gotta blow her off entirely now tomorrow, somehow, some excuse, prob not gonna text back tonight, mayb much later to keep her edgy, but maybe not at all. is this running from the problem or pulling the string ??
i kno the real answer is somewhere between or somthin i havent thought of entirely despite one of my syndroms is a chronic over thinker! also gotta get away from this insecurity bullshit, cycling about 10 dif ways to react and i think they're all wrong lol
help me out brothers
K tryin to be smoother
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CHAT