| Okay, so this is a situation I'd like to avoid for several reasons, but not to obvious ones you all may be expecting...
I trust the girl for the most part. Although nothing is 100%, we've been together for over a year and I know her incredibly well. She has a tendency to always want to help people, and she often makes herself miserable over it, and doesn't like to be lectured on a bad decision she's made, but she'll often avoid a bad decision if she can see it coming (....usually when I point out she's about to make one).
So here's the scoop; she has a male friend out of state (whom she hasn't seen in years) that wound up in jail (did something stupid at a party); he had a charge against him that he wasn't guilty of (robbery), and thus got it dropped to something less significant (trespassing) and needs $200 to get bailed out.
He's needed that $200 for the last 2 months. None of his friends are helping him, his own mother isn't helping him, nobody is helping this guy.
My girlfriend typically does well for herself, and wants to get her friend out of jail. She always tends to help people who have no ability to reciprocate the help for her in the future, or who will use her kindness.
She's been dealing with severe depression lately (as in, actually clinically depressed), and a ton of other terrible life situations that have made her financially lacking and emotionally drained. She's trying to scrap together $200 to help this friend of hers, who I know she only views as a friend, but this guy is saying he has nowhere to go since he's been locked up for 6 months, and she's expressed interest in letting him come back to our city and let him have her spare room.
I know where we stand together, and I'm not really worried about this guy "stealing my girl", but my problem is this-
Although I'm sure he's nice, this guy is clearly a fucking loser. He's 30 something, and doesn't have $200 to pay his own bail?? He has no friends to front him the money?? THERE IS A REASON NOBODY IS HELPING THIS GUY. My girlfriend values her independence and privacy more than anything in her life. The only thing she loves more is being a good person and helping others. In the moment, she's going to want to help this guy, but in reality, she's only going to make herself miserable because she's going to lose her privacy to someone who clearly doesn't have their act together or have any goals or motivation in life. She'll end up housing some moron, and ultimately feeling worse about the whole scenario when she when she has to have him thrown out.
I suppose my question is how to bring this up. I'm basically going to be direct if nobody has any better ideas, but she doesn't tend to appreciate people's criticism in matters such as these, but frankly, I'd really rather avoid seeing her be miserable about anything, and on top of all that, avoid my own emotional worry about this guy making a move or something. It's not something that overly worries me, but in the back of my head, it's still going to be on my mind; especially since we tend to argue a lot when she's depressed, and I don't need her living with a "lazy opportunist". I'd just like some advice on dealing with a short fuse I suppose. _________________ I'm not your Mr. Right, I'm your Mr. Right Now  .
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