Hey guys,
So I've got a bit of a oneitis problem, have had on and off for years now, seems that when she breaks up with a boyfriend, it kicks off again.
Great girl, but I doubt anything would or could really happen between us, I wouldn't mind like a one-night sort of thing maybe once, I'm due to visit her soon as I haven't seen her in some time, but she's been on about some guy I used to hang around with ages ago, about how much he's changed for the better and stuff like that and they've been talking a lot recently...
Out of the blue I found out he's going to visit her pretty much immediately for about a week and I'm 90% sure they're gonna be getting together during that time, when I found out he was visiting it made me feel pretty damn shit straight away, but just tried to keep a straight face about the whole thing when talking to her...
I'm only 90% sure because I know his sort of intentions and she's spoken about him a fair amount, even if they get together into a relationship, I know it won't last that long, but even the fact that they'll probably be banging bothers me big style.
I really wish I could get over her, I've liked girls since I first liked her, but it's a bit of a reoccuring thing, I can't just completely repudiate her because she's a good friend too. I'm still visiting her soon, but as much as this shouldn't bother me, it really does...

I didn't write this thread for advice in particular, but I think this is a suitable sort of place to get it off of my chest, or maybe some of you have had some experience in this sort of situation and have some tips for how I can deal with it?

Cheers for taking the time to read this

STOP talking to her!
STOP caring about her.

yes she is going to fuck him.
Yes she will likely break up with him in a short period of time.
Yes she is going to call you and use you as her emotional tampon when it's over.

No she is NOT going to fuck YOU, not then, NOT EVER.

It seems as though your being shitty and cutting off a friendship, but your not!

your cutting a user out of your life so you can move the fuck on.

I know your saying you just wanted to get it off your chest, but Bro, you have a serious problem here.

You need to face it and address it!!

You will NEVER get proper ass until you do this.
Her intention is to fuck a mutual friend, what makes you think she will stop when it's someone you really care about?

Picture her with your buddy's dick in her mouth, that should paint the picture.

If you have ever put another date/girl/chance on the back burner for her, you need to cut her loose, and DO IT NOW!

She has NO respect for you or your feelings, ONLY hers.

Put every thing on a balance scale, I'll bet you it's very lopsided!

You 10 favors, to her 1, just enough to keep you on the hook.
But how many of those did you fuck? Honest answer?

Oneites is the worst form of dick in the dirt you could have, and there is only one cure.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

He's right she's a user drop her and stop being her emotional tampon

Stop talking to her. Your whole excuse for talking her because she's a good friend is bullshit. You can't be friends with women for exactly that reason.

Yeah there is one cure, but I don't think you're ready for it.

I would suggest you STOP talking to her. Delete her from your phone. Delete her off Facebook. Unfollow her on Twitter. Just get her out of your sight. When you do this, occupy your time. If you work, focus on your job. If you go to school, focus on your books. When you do this, look at the free time you have and fill it up with new things you could be doing. Hit the gym. Hang with your homies. Take a dance class. Join some chill club on astronomy and look at stars all fucking night. You gotta occupy your time efficiently with things that can improve you for the future, as well as places where you can meet new people.

Once you do this, look towards GFTOW.

Good luck and stay strong.

_________________
A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.

18 Body Language Mistakes I Bet You're Making

That's some pretty straight-forward advice, 'emotional tampon' did make me laugh pretty hard, I have a feeling this would be a good way of doing it... I can't completely ignore her because as a friend, she's done a lot for me over the years, but as for the oneitis situation, that's just bread buttered on one side, so that's not really her fault, she's not getting with this guy to get at me, this'll just be her own thing because she wants to.
But I think not talking to her will help, I can't ignore her if she talks to me first 'cause then I'll just come across as a plain dick and I'll just lose a friend ultimately... But I think if I leave her to initiate conversations (which she doesn't do very often) then that'll help.
When we used to speak more often, we used to talk about any problems she had, but that was sort of a hole I dug myself into 'cause I'd frequently ask if anything was wrong. She's said stuff recently but I've just sort of not given much of an opinion on it and tried to quickly change the topic, so I'm gradually phasing that out.

But yeah, I think the best thing to do would be for me to not start conversations with her, only speak when spoken to as such. No matter what anyone says, I can't just completely ignore her 'cause despite the oneitis problem, there's still a friend there and it'd be like being told to completely ignore any of my other friends. But hopefully by not talking as much, I can keep her at more of a distance and out of mind.

Honest answer? None, still a virgin, so there haven't even been any one-offs but I don't feel as though she has been the cause of that.

Your going to keep draw yourself into talking(which isn't good) her good luck but I doubt you'll stop your oneitis you'll be texting her regularly in a week and still deep as ever in the friend zone

She is the cause of that. And NOTHING is going to change.

But she didn't do it. YOU DID!

It's just easy for her to keep.
Nope, your correct, she's doing it for her own carnal pleasure, while you sit idly by with your dick in your hand and a false dream.

This happens to pretty much every man at one point or another in his life, and since I've noticed that some members posting here seem to be focused on one particular girl, or pouting over a breakup, over one girl.

First things first, you should realize what you are up against. Love/close attachment is no different than hard drug addiction.

You think there may be a slight problem, but nothing you can't handle, you'll just "cut back".

Don't believe me? Ask close friends, ask family. "Do I do to much for her?" "Do you think she is using me?"
Yep, and getting deeper.

Once you realize what you are up against, you can attack your problem directly and systemically, you are not bailing on a friend!!!

YOU ARE RES-ERECTING YOUR OWN LIFE!!!

1ST:You should delete her phone number, any messages and emails, photos, mementos, block or delete her from any social networking sites, etc. Cut off all contact whatsoever, banish her from your mind.
I KNOW IT'S ROUGH. But you have too.

2nd: Detoxify, Take some time off, a week if you are able, or just a long weekend. You should avoid drugs and alcohol, and a healthy/cleansing diet is the best. Good ideas are your hobby, or nature, or hiking, etc. hang out with old buddy's that you haven't seen in a while, gel with some video games. Peek in your neighbors windows, whatever it take to set your mind free!

3rd: Do not get back into another relationship. Focus on self improvement and new experiences. You will have plenty of free time for both. By this point you should be feeling centered again, and should be at the top of your game for hunting new pussy. Say Hi to every hot girl you see!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Bottom line she is disrespecting you.

Ask yourself this, why would you want a friend/girlfriend who doesn't care about your needs?

Trust me bro, drop her. You will feel so much better when you find out how many girls out there will treat you right. You'll look back thinking wow she really was a user.

Think about YOURSELF for once! Not her. She doesn't deserve YOU. YOU are better than her, YOUR time is valuable and YOU are NOT going to waste it on someone who doesn't respect YOUR time.

I can't just cut her off completely, I think blocking her on social networking sites and deleting her number is a bit excessive for the situation... She's not in my head that much, we might have a chat every month or two, maybe more often depending. I think you're giving great advice, but I still get on with my normal life, I go out every other weekend for some drinks or something else with friends, she lives really far away so it's not like I'll randomly bump into her anywhere. I think for now, I could start by not initiating a conversation with her and practise gaming other girls which is originally why I started up an account here, 'cause there are some awesome tips and I'm crap at it.
I did try that 'Newbie Challenge' the other day, but it failed miserably, girls literally made eye contact for a split second and probably wouldn't notice if I said "hi".
I know what I've just said contradicts what I said in the beginning of the topic, but even after you said such straight forward things, that's sort of put things into perspective for me and I feel a fair bit better about the whole thing already!
I can't just go blocking her and stuff 'cause last time we spoke, we left on a really good note so it'd just be a dickish thing if I went and completely cut her off, it's probably that I had some ideas in my head for when I go to visit and then I found out he's gone to visit her.
But I think if I just leave her to talk to me first and practise gaming girls for the time being, that'll keep my mind off of things!

There isn't actually history like that between us, she doesn't know what I think about this whole thing, we've just been friends for years, she isn't really doing anything to get at me, she has no idea what I think.
But those are supportive / motivational words and I appreciate them!

Okay then, I will challenge you. And I expect you to commit to this challenge in front of the entire
PUA forum, TODAY!

You solemnly swear not to make, or return contact with this woman/girl, UNTIL you have lost your Virginity!

Simple.

Your reason for no contact to her? "I've been very busy." Because Bro...YOUR GOING TO BE BUSY!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

That's an awesome challenge and I'd like to commit to it, but I've tried loads and loads of times to get with girls to no avail, I'm not the best looking guy and I have crap game, anytime I manage to get close to it, it usually only goes so far, so it could be a damn long time before that happens... All I can vow to do at the minute is seriously get a move on and step up my fucking game 'cause it's pretty piss poor at the minute!

FUCKING PUSSY!

Take the challenge, stop making excuses for not making your life better.
Join a gym, and learn to tighten your game, that why you joined isn't it?

YOU CAN do this.
Do it again, this time you'll have more confidence. You didn't die or get sick the 1st time did you? So fucking what if they don't notice, the 1st time, the 2nd time....they WILL start to notice!

Take a class, start a hobby, take dance lessons. (especially ones that cause you to interact with women) Better yourself.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

CONFIDENCE that's all it takes I'm probably a 6 and I can get girls that should be way out of my league because I make them justify there selves to ME,,,I'm the prize